Hey Gnomes, Wanna Learn To Tango?



Gnotango is an dance studio that provides group and private dance instruction in Argentine Tango, stages professional tango performances, and sponsors tango events for gnomes of all skill levels.

While recognizing the heritage of Argentine tango, and the need to preserve its tradition, Gnotango is committed to the evolution of tango for the modern gnome.


Chumbawamba, The Gnome is the founder and artistic director of Gnotango, and has been dancing all his life. Born and raised in Buenos Aires, Tango played a role in his life since childhood. As a tango dancer, his graceful yet innovative style stems from a fusion of ballet principles and Argentine Tango.

I Get Knocked Down, The Turtle is a producer and educator with over 14 years experience in the music, film, and event industries. She possesses an in-depth knowledge of business and the arts that she brought to her post on the Board of Governors for the Recording Academy of Arts and Science in The Gnome Abode.

7:00 pm to 8:00 pm     Beginner’s Class
8:00 pm to 9:00 pm     Intermediate / Advanced
9:00 pm to 11:00 pm   Practica
Midnight – 4:00am Milonga La Baldosita (Tango Party)
(includes 5 complimentary beverages)
  •  Where are you located?
      • The grand ballroom in the alley to the left of the used phone store
  • What should I wear?
      • As little as possible. Tango is supposed to be sexy. Undress to impress.
  • What about shoes?
      • The highest heels you can find. Yes, this applies to both male and female gnomes.
  • Do I need to bring a partner?
      • Not if you have social skills and have the ability to hook up with another lonely stranger.

“My life meant nothing until I started going to Gnotango! I have since stopped eating my own hair and I’ve tossed out the shoebox of old toenail clippings under my bed!”  – Cowabunga The Gnome
“I had no self-confidence before I started going to Gnotango. I was so nervous on my first day. After just two classes, I lost 23 grams of fat and grew a new and improved nose!” – Lurleen Lumpkin The Gnome
Contact us TODAY for your FREE introductory trial class with Gnotango! Your life probably sucks, so honestly….what do you have to lose?! See you on the dance floor!
Your dance instructors,
Chumbawamba (The Gnome) and (I Get Knocked Down The Turtle)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

301 Moved Permanently

Moved Permanently

The document has moved here.