Why I Hate Sheldon: Reason #358

#358: Because the little bastard is getting worldwide fame and attention.

Check this shit out: http://ourlasvegas.wordpress.com/the-gnomes-gallery-2/

I pick up the morning newspaper and what do I find? Sheldon and Gnomeplaya have apparently exploded on the Las Vegas indie art scene! They’re currently posted as the second picture down, in which the reclining gnome is apparently checking out Gnomeplaya’s ass. Scandalous.

But what about the rest of us? What websites are the rest of us featured on? Well, I mean, besides this one….which doesn’t really count.

I did a little research in my sober downtime today about this whole “Our Las Vegas” ordeal. Apparently, artist Jesse Carson Smigel of this Gnot the Proper Gnomenclature project. http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/news/2012/may/02/whats-giant-gnomes-arts-district/

As I hacked into Gnomeplaya’s laptop, I found an array of other photographs documenting this epic gnomish encounter that NONE OF US other than Sheldon were made a part of.

I confronted Sheldon about this issue. He simply said that they were big gnomes made of foam and it was nothing to get my panties in a bunch about. Little does he know, I don’t wear panties. Commando baby!

Sheldon went on to say that Vegas wasn’t any place we should be jealous of. Apparently it was almost 100 degrees and he had a couple bad rounds of poker.

As convincing as the dude is, I’m still pissed. I’m attached to a mug for godssake! I could be carried around so much easier than his fat ass.

Jealously raging with my mug full of vodka on a Friday night because obviously I’m not ever going to be rich or famous. GAH!

Sheldon, you are my enemy. And you are going down. Down to a place that no gnome should ever see. Like the inside of a frat house toilet. Yeah. I went there.


Caesar The Gnome


This entry was posted in Gnome Art, World Traveler Gnomes by Caesar. Bookmark the permalink.

About Caesar

I’m that weird guy in your office who seems to need an IV drip of coffee at all times to function at a normal gnome-like level. Everyone always thinks I must an overworked insomniac and could also really use a shower.

Then one day I try to make out with you in the supply closet. My breath reeks of Bailey’s Irish Cream Liquor! It all makes sense to you now! I’ve never been drinking coffee at all! So you let me make out with you. Eh, why not? You’e probably had worse.

I contribute occasionally in the ‘Gnome Brew Review’ Category. I’m opinionated, sneaky, and like to be handled (wink wink).

2 thoughts on “Why I Hate Sheldon: Reason #358

  1. Yo, I just came across this article. I am Jesse Carson Smigel. What the fuck is going on here? I like it. Are you familiar with Team-Gulps?

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