About Pablo

Just because I mutter incomprehensible and disjointed random shit under my breath from time to time, the other gnomes are trying to get me institutionalized. I ride a bunny rabbit around the yard because I’ve decided that feet are unnecessary. Bunny rabbits make better friends than gnomes anyway and they’re way softer. Ooo! Sparkles!

446 Gnomes Stand Proud at Australia’s Gnomeageddon 2014!

The Guinness World Record for the number of humans dressed as gnomes in one place is 478. Betcha didn’t know that, did ya?

Well one Australian group celebrating Gnomeageddon 2014 almost broke that record…but not quite. They had 446 gnomes in attendance. Just 33 shy of record breaking!

gnomeageddon

How did this happen YESTERDAY?!

We could have helped!

Well, if Gnomeageddon tickets include round-trip airfare from the U.S., that is.

Anyhoo, this recent gnome activity came about as part of a “Gnome Macca’s in Tecoma” campaign. According to the Herald Sun, No Macca’s in the Dandenong Ranges protesters donned gnome hats, aprons and boots yesterday in attempt to shatter a world record for the number of people dressed as garden gnomes.

Gnomeageddon (1)

This is all part of a plot to thwart the success of an evil McDonald’s restaurant with a wretched 24-hour drive through in Tecoma. According to the gNOme Maccas in Tecoma’s Facebook page:

Tecoma is good habitat for us gnomes, the gardens and forest are lush and green and the residents lovingly protect and conserve these spaces. However, should McDonalds build their junkfood takeaway, our moonlight frolicking will be interrupted by lights and traffic, and our habitat ruined by litter. Where will some of us live if the Tecoma No Maccas community garden gets bulldozed?! There is no gnome habitat amongst the fake turf and plastic décor of a McDonald’s.

We hear you loud and clear guys. Down with McDonald’s! Up with nature!

gnomeageddon2

Now that the dreadful “restaurant” is operating for business, Gnomeageddon will be an annual event until it’s shut down for good. Stay strong, gnomies.

Sorry we missed it, and hope to join in next year!

FIGHT THE POWER,
Pablo the Gnome

Oakshire Brewing’s “Ill Tempered Gnome” Winter Ale

Here at The Drunk Gnome, we LOVE discovering new gnome-inspired brews!

We recently stumbled upon “The Ill Tempered Gnome,” a winter ale from Eugene-Oregon-based Oakshire Brewing Company.

bottle_template_gnome_0

For our fellow brew nerds, here are the stats:

STYLE: American Brown Ale
OG: 15.5 Plato
IBU: 65
ABV: 6.8%

AVAILABILITY: Winter Seasonal
FORMAT: Draft & 22 oz. bottles
FOOD PAIRINGS: Roast Pork, Grilled Sausages, smoked salmon, aged gouda, mild blue, burgers, bread pudding
We have yet to try the brew, but we’re hoping to find it in our local grocery store soon. If not, we are fully prepared to take a road trip out to Oregon.

In the meantime, here’s a brew review from the Daily Emerald’s Samuel Wendel: “Though it does retain some of the spice common to autumn beers, Oakshire complements the spice with a nice malty presence, and a subtle hoppiness that brings to mind the smell of pine. Its finish is smooth, and at 6.8 percent alcohol by volume, it shouldn’t take more than one or two to warm you up on a cold winter night. Ill-tempered Gnome is well worth a try, and should be available in most grocery stores.”

Have you tried the ill tempered gnome? What’s pissing him off so badly?

Thirstily yours,
Pablo the gnome

2014 Gnome Calendars for Sale!

Don’t become weary with the passing of each month! Think of the 1st as a new beginning to a whole new bunch of adventurous days. Staying optimistic in the winter can be hard…gnomes to the rescue!

calendar

 

Jean is a kind and lovely gnome caretaker and a personal friend of ours! Her Gnome Man’s Land is located in Santa Rosa, California and she’ll probably even give you a tour if you’re really, really nice!

If you’d like a gnome calendar of your very own, to scribble all of your gnomes’ birthdays on or whatnot, get in touch with her. Jean’s email is [email protected]

Yours truly,
Pablo the Gnome

A Gnome’s Favorite Shot Glass

While trolling (excuse my French) the Internet this morning, I stumbled upon an article by this really cool writer chick about collecting shot glasses as souvenirs.

It’s no secret that we gnomes love to travel, and NO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT BLASTED TRAVELOCITY GNOME. We were traveling way before his grimy paws took hold of the traveling gnome scene. Thankyouverymuch.

But back to my original point, we love to travel and we love to drink. So collecting shot glasses comes very naturally to us. Here’s a couple of us posing with our favorites:

photoWhether it’s smoking in Florida, hiking in Zion Canyon, photographing Yosemite, or waving our drunk flag high in Ireland, we like to remember fond travel memories whilst getting plastered. We’ll continue collecting, continue drinking, and continue traveling…simple as that.

So where’s your favorite shot glass from? What’s its story?

That isn’t a rhetorical question!
Pablo the Gnome

Cupcakes and Cannibalism

 

The sheer fact that there are a crap ton of gnomes in the world makes it likely that every day is some gnome’s birthday. So tell me…which of you buggas has a birthday today?

It’s not me…I’m just trying to find an excuse to celebrate and drink all day 🙂

What do gnomes want for their birthdays? Well I’ll tell you one thing they DON’T want….a stinkin’ human-made birthday cake! Gnomes are much more creative with their birthday treats. Why not make these cupcakes for your buddy down the street instead?

Gnome cupcake

And no, it’s not cannibalism. I already cleared it with our spiritual leader, EvanGelical the Gnome. He confirmed that if a gnome is made of artificial sugar, then he is okay to eat. More on gnomish cannibalism in a future post….hooray!

I am concerned, however, that this little guy’s right foot is detached. The deformed must be eaten…these are the ways of our ancestors! Ahem.

I mean, uh, happy birthday to someone!
Pablo the Gnome