Our First MexiGnome!!!

In the spirit of gnome diversity, we have welcomed our very first MexiGnome to the Gnome Abode!


Dude doesn’t have a name yet, so we keep calling him MexiGnome. Is this racist? Racist in the spirit of anti-racism? I must say though…dude never strays far from his horse or his guitar. Good quality in a dude if you ask me.


Please send us your suggestion for Mr. MexiGnome’s proper nomenclature. We’restruggling on this one, since many of our pasty-white-as-can-be gnomes have Hispanic names. Yes, I’m referring to you, Alfredo, Pablo, and Ramon.


In other news, we’ve heard rumors about a Greek gnome and a Scottish gnome joining our ranks any day now. Bring it, bitches…we’re ready for ya! Though we might ask you for cuisine recommendations. You’ve been forewarned.

Happy freaking Friday, gnomites!
Rj Simmons Jr. the Welcoming Committee Gnome

Bike for the (Gnome) Gold!

Some bikers bike for trophies. Others for glory. And still others for GNOMES.

Leave it to Western Australia to come up with a bike race where the prizes are golden versions of us. Australians are always good for a lil’ gnomish jaunt.

South West Cyclists get together on September 8th in Dardanup to compete for the coveted Golden Gnome. It’s called  in the Livelighter Dardanup Tour. And apparently there’s a a bunch of gnomes going out as prizes to make people who suck at biking feel a little better too.

cyclingI’ll admit, these little golden guys are pretty badass. However, it does beg the question…should gnomes really be considered trophies?

I mean, you’re a human, right? How would you like it if we hosted a little foot race and gave YOU out as a prize?

You do realize that each one of those golden gnomes had a life of his own before being assigned as you trophy?

But I won’t dwell on it. Well, maybe I already have. News stories like this make me feel torn. One one hand, the bike race is promoting the gnomish spirit of good luck and good cheer to people otherwise unfamiliar with our awesomeness. On the other hand, it is perpetuating the misconception that gnomes are things and not beings. 

I’ll leave you with this: cyclists treat your gnomes well. If your weird human legs can peddle faster than the others, then consider yourself endowed with a responsibility to become a faithful and true gnome guardian. I am trusting that since you like the outdoors enough to bike in it, that you’ll also spend an ample time outdoors with your new golden friend.

Happy biking!
Caesar the Gnome


A Little Bit About a Band Called the “UnGnomes”

We here at The Drunk Gnome are huge fans of music. And before you start to judge our musical tastes, take a seat and read along.

I know what you’re thinking….oh, gnome music….that sounds lame. I’d like to hear you play a few bars of your perception of “gnome music” in the key of D, please. I’m not joking around here. I really want to hear some sounds coming out the end of my laptop from you.



Whatever you suck.

But our taste in music doesn’t, so whatever, back to it.


It should come as no surprise that we’re a bit partial to bands that have “gnome” in their name. Perhaps you read about The Gnome Addicts playing in Boulder, Gnome from Australia, or Cleveland-based Mr. Gnome. If you didn’t read about them, read about them now. That wasn’t just a passing comment to fill space in a blog post!




I learned about a new gnome-themed band last week called the UnGnomes. After listening to a few of their tracks, I’m still unclear on exactly what an “ungnome” is. Take a listen. Do you get it?

Unfortunately, I missed out on catching the UnGnomes’ show this past weekend when they played a Wabash street festival in Chicago. Have any of you other gnomes out there seen them live? Worth a road trip? Fill me in, will ya?


Gracias, bitches.

Lil’ Dimwit, Rapper Gnome Extraordinaire

Gnome Sightings in Amish Country

photo (2)It should come as no surprise to gnome lovers that come cities and towns are more gnome-friendly than others. Some neighborhoods are lined with gnomes left and right, and others barely welcome one through their cast iron gates. Some states and countries are known for their gnome-friendliness as well. Germany, England, and California come to mind, off the top of my wee head.

Lancaster_County_Amish_03But sometimes, unsuspecting communities even take us by surprise. Take for example a minuscule town called Arthur in a pretty lame state called Illinois. This place is filled with Amish people…horse ‘n buggy, anti-electricity type shit. Lots of poo lying around on the streets and such.

Not the kinda place gnomes typically make their homes. Ahem.

For reasons I’d rather not get into at the moment, I found myself in this odd place a couple weeks back. Much to my surprise, I was greeted with a warm welcome from a neighboring yard.

photo (4)

Gnomes seem to get along with their human counterparts here, because they willingly advertise the family names without due compensation!

photo (1)

It’s a peaceful place, without much of anything going on, so gnomes here tend to gather and gossip like little girls.

photo (3)

It’s also a haven for introspective recluses, so you can often find gnomes hiding where you least expect to hide them.

So how about your neighborhood….is it gnome-friendly or gnome-shy? I can’t seem to get beyond those butter-churning bonnets and ill-fitting suspenders, but I do have a little more respect for Amish country these days.

Leonardo the Gnome

P.S. – If anyone spots a gnome wearing full-Amish attire, please alert me ASAP. I have a ton of questions for that hypothetical little bugga.

New Gnome Book Released!


Author, Gene Olson, has published a new book called Gnomes in the Barn. According to the hot-off-the-press press release, “he crafts a dulcet story out from this Scandinavian folklore characters often blamed for any mischief that took place to engage the imagination of children, leaving them clamoring for their parents to go over the story once again.”

Barn bookApparently, the gnomes in this here book are about 6 inches tall. Seems about the average height around this house too. Heh.

I guess this Gene guy’s day job is being a systems analyst. That sounds rather dull, if you ask us. Good call on letting your mind wander to the wonderful world of gnomes, buddy 🙂

Gnome barn

You can pick up your very own copy by clicking on this handy-dandy Xliberis publishing site. The e-book is right within our gnomely-budgeted price range.

Happy literacy!
TheQuickBrownFox The Gnome