Breaking News! Gnome Fest in Tuscon TOMORROW! Hop on a freaking plane!

We had a nice quiet weekend in the countryside planned and welp, that just got thrown out the window!

Why, you ask?

Because we just remembered that Metro Gnome Music’s 3rd annual Gnome Fest is taking place TOMORROW!

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We have issued a gnome-wide alert to cancel manicures, find pet sitters, and disappoint distant relatives. It’ll all be worth it, because this year’s Gnome Fest is set to be even better than last year.

Read My 2013 Post About Gnome FestLet’s All Go to Tuscon on Saturday!

The festivities are taking place tomorrow October 18th at 4044 E. Speedway in Tuscon – between the hours of 11:30am and 6:00pm.

Once again, this crew will be trying to break the Guinness Book World Record for the Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Garden Gnomes. The current record is 468.

Let’s blow that lame number to smithereens, people!

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But alas this is a music shop, so the fest is also all about the music.

According to a Metro Gnome press release, Amosphere, led by 2005 Grammy Award finalist AmoChip, female-fronted trio Copper & Congress, multi-format ensemble group Genevieve & The LP’s, the 90’s alternative/grunge rock band Lollapaloozers, and the self-described “opposite of robots”: Sorry About The Garden.

There’s gonna be some weird freaking contests, including prizes for the fastest Twinkie eater and quickest Brompton Bike folder. What am I looking forward to the most? That’d be the Gnome Wobble Contest.

Stumped by those three words strung together in a sentence? Watch this wobble instructional video and boost your pop culture quotient. It’s at 3pm, and gnomes have no patience for tardiness.

Haven’t we always been telling you how much gnomes and animals get along? Metro Gnome Music will be selling gnome hats for $5 and $2 of each one will go to the Humane Society of Southern Arizona. Woof! Meooooooowwwwww!

Love eating out of a motorized vehicle? There’ll be plenty of food trucks, like You Sly Dog and Gigi’s Mexican & Peruvian Fusion to satisfy your obscure cravings.

We’ll see you at the fest!

xoxo,
Kamikaze, your last-minute party guide gnome

Sleepy Gnome Bloggers Wake Up for Movie Premier!

The blogging gnomes have been a wee bit too tipsy for blog posts lately it seems. For whatever reason, the grog supply has been dwindling more than usual and they’ve been capable of little more than dumb Facebook quips.

Well I’m here to revive long-form gnome rants, once and for all.

Here, here!

No, really. Down here. Have you forgotten how short we are?

I like to think of myself as a bit of a connoisseur of the arts, so when I saw a headline today about a gnome film, my stubby ears perked up.

“Coota gnome rescue immortalised in film”

That’s what the headline read, and it’s all about the great gnome rescue of 2009.

Unfamiliar with that whole ordeal?

Photo credit: Cootamundra Herald

Photo credit: Cootamundra Herald

Around 1500 garden gnomes rescued from the late Shirley Elford’s home in 2009. They were tattered and torn, but still beautiful gnome souls in need of a little TLC.

Following the rescue, they were restored and adopted out to caring homes. Filmmakers caught wind of this phenomenon and also about the annual Australian Gnome Convention, which celebrated its 10th anniversary this year.

According to the Cootamundra Herald, “Film producer Murray Fahey said the film will include flashbacks to the Cootamundra rescue mission as well as interviews with some of the people involved including ‘Gnome Master’ David Cooke.”

The film’s due to be released in early November, but we stateside gnome are worried that we might not have access to the screening.

Sob…sob…help us?

We might be far away, but we’re not giving up hope. We’ll be following this story as the first of November approaches and hopefully find a way to see this wonderfully promising film. Gnome films aren’t exactly the easiest to come by, so you’ve got to jump on the bandwagon while the tubas are still playing.

Until then, this is your gnome culture news for the day. Signing off…

Horace The Gnome