We’re all already half in the bag because Halloween is one of our very favorite holidays!

We’re hosting a costume contest later this afternoon so stay tuned for upcoming pictures! I’ve got my money on The Lady of Mt. Goom. She’s so creepy normally that she doesn’t even need to dress up.

What the hell is in that laboratory beaker!?

And Zookwinkle! Dear Zooks!

However did you get ahold of infectious waste! What is IN there?!?!?!??!??!!?

And what twisted ass gnome staged a horror scene with a bloody baby doll and a rat in a bathtub?!?! You all are messed up….

How are YOU celebrating the greatest holiday on earth?

Stay creepy, my dear gnomes.
Sketchy Andy The Gnome

“Yeah, I’m having a bachelor party too”. – King Jerry


My loyal subjects,

You all keep asking me if I’m having a bachelor party. I’m tired of these questions. I can only assume this is because my queen-to-be, Tabitha, made this whole big deal about her bachelorette party. Typical woman gnome.

Yeah, I’m having a bachelor party too.

Just fly to Vegas ASAP and text me.


This is why.

And if you don’t, I’ll have you beheaded. I’ve improved upon my beheading skills lately and am looking to try them out.

Your cold-footed and cold-hearted leader,
King Jerry of All Gnomekind

You’re Invited to Tabitha’s Bachelorette Party!


Who?: All lady gnomes and all lady humans who are uglier than me. No boys allowed unless they’re stripping.

What?: A Celebration of King Jerry finally proposing to me and making me queen of all gnomekind.

When?: Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Where?: Vegas, baby. Vegas. We’ll start the party at the Gnomecino Casino and bar hop from there.

Why?:Because you’ve probably never been to a gnome bachelorette party before.

What to wear?: As little as possible. I plan to slut it up for one night and one night only, so you should too.

What to bring?: Gifts for me consisting of jewelry, handbags, spa treatment gift cards, and lots of cash to buy me shots.

No need to RSVP. I have no doubt you’ll all be there. There’s no way you’d have anything more important going on that partying with your future queen.

Tabitha, Queen Gnome in Training

Friday Afternoon Botany Update: The Pink Gnome Rose


I’d like to inform all you gnomes out there reading this that there is a flower named after us!

Pretty, eh? It’s called the Pink Gnome Rose and according to eh Landsburg Landscape Nursery, is a “compact rose with a tight round habit, the lovely pink buds open to display tiny pretty pink cup shaped flowers with white centers that cover the plant all season long; wonderfully disease resistant and low maintenance.”

It grows about 18 inches tall and spreads about 24 inches wide. The Pink Gnome Rose needs direct sunlight and when well cared for, can life for about 20 years.

Gardening site, HelpMeFind, says that our flower was first bred by Ping Lim and Martin Nemko in the United States in 1995.


Let us all grow Pink Gnome Rosse in our gardens to celebrate ourselves!

Beautifying our Abode….one narcissistic plant at a time,
The Book of Genesis, The Gnome