About Pablo

Just because I mutter incomprehensible and disjointed random shit under my breath from time to time, the other gnomes are trying to get me institutionalized. I ride a bunny rabbit around the yard because I’ve decided that feet are unnecessary. Bunny rabbits make better friends than gnomes anyway and they’re way softer. Ooo! Sparkles!

Dream Interpretation from the Gnomish Subconscious

Some people suffer from a condition where they walk in their sleep, also known as somnambulism.

Other people suffer from a condition where they fall asleep at random times, also known as narcolepsy.

 

 

Still other people suffer from a condition where they eat in their sleep, also known as parasomnia.

Well gnomes don’t suffer from any of those conditions. We have a predisposition to suffer from a condition far worse…..sleep drawing, also known as penangeling.

It’s true. I seem to have developed this common gnome condition where I draw in my sleep. I saw a flyer for a penangeling support group on a light post the other day, but back then I was too naive to think it would ever happen to me.

Then in an instant, my life changed. This morning I woke up at the sound of my alarm, peeled off my eye mash, pushed my snuggly stuffed bunny to the side, and found this monstrosity on the pillow next to me. What the hell is this?! What does it mean! I’ve never even been to South Dakota! Those drops of blood are making me squeamish!

I’ve spent all day scouring the Interweb for an explanation of what the hell my subconscious mind is trying to tell me. This is what Dream Forth (http://www.dreamforth.com/) tells me:

To dream of a hammer suggests hardiness, power, control, and other male values. To dream of the direction south symbolizes anticipation, existence, and uncertainty. To dream about a dragon suggests that you allow your desires and emotions get the best of you.

So…. I’m getting too emotional about the uncertainty of my power? I’m confused. If there are any dream analyst experts out there reading this, please weigh in. I beg you, please. I’m scared to go to sleep tonight for fear of what I will find that I drew tomorrow morning.

Anxiously throwing all of my art supplies into the recycling bin,

Pablo The Gnome

Not a Teenage Latino Beached Whale Boy

I always have credited my buddy, Sheldon for his good taste in music. Then last night I find myself at the Rihanna concert. I heard that name before but I always thought it was a teenage Latino beached whale boy with a speech impediment. Tickets were as expensive as hell but we hopped into the coat pocket of some big guy and didn’t pay a dime.

All they served at the Riv was Bud Light. Sheldon and I sat on the floor with our mouths open waiting for drunk bastards to somehow spill out of their gawking mouths. After we got about ten or eleven drops, the music stopped and the crowd cleared. Someone or something scooped into me and Sheldon into its hand and I whipped around, ready for the fist fight of a lifetime. Instead I was patted on the top of my little gnome hat by a very nice looking human figure and handed something burning at one end and smelling like road kill. I didn’t really care what it was because this is who handed it to me:

Not a Teenage Latino Beached Whale Boy

These are the moments that remind me that there are new things to be learned every day and that not all teenage Latino beached whale boys are half bad.

Highly magnificent,

Pablo the Gnome