Monthly Archives: October 2013

Halloween Wine: A Lady Gnome Review

Posted on by
Reply

Perhaps you think all we gnomes drink is beer. Then perhaps you’d be mistaken. Some of us lady gnomes consume a steady diet of wine each day…it helps restore balance to our skin tones.

Like many lady gnomes, I’m a sucker for pretty labels. While buying ingredients to make my boyfriend a pumpkin pie, I came across this bright orange bottle. (That’s my bf in the picture. He’s a firegnome. How HOTTT is that?!)

photo (3)I know it’s only the 11th of October, but I’m getting super excited for Halloween. And how freaking festive is this bottle of deliciousness?!

“Halloween” is made by a local place called Illinois River Winery in Utica, IL. It’s right near Starved Rock state park….I love that place!

Anyway this is an apple and pumpkin wine that’s spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg. And it tasted like exactly that. After my man and I devoured the bottle in a couple swift sips, I noticed a suggestion that it’s best served warm.

Whoops! Guess I’d better pick up another bottle to try it heated up a bit!

Halloween wine is 10.5% alcohol, so it got me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside without the old-age headache the next day. It’s more sweet than tart and more fruity than dry.

I recommend it! And I’ve also added this winery to my list of places to drink at. It has a tasting room open every day – $3 for 6 tastes!

So my fellow gnomies, what fall festive drinks do YOU plan to throw back this weekend?

Happy Friday, my loves!

xoxo,
Roxy the Gnome

Help! Gnome Lost at Oktoberfest!

Posted on by
Reply

It’s always been our little gnomish dream to head over to Germany and celebrate Oktoberfest in style.

Haupteingang_Oktoberfest_2012But alas, we weren’t able to raise enough gnome rubles to afford the flight again this year 🙁

To make up for it (a little bit, but not really), we’ve been reading all sorts of articles about other people living the good (drunk) life. For example, today I read about a little gnome getting “lost” at Oktoberfest.

Apparently, Oktoberfest has a lost and found. And a gnome ended up in it this year. Along with the gnome was a segway, a giant pencil, a guitar and €50,000 cash.

Hacker-Pschorr_Oktoberfest_GirlDo you REALLY think that little gnome is “lost”!? That bastard is having the time of his life! Spending boat loads of cash…riding around dumbly…writing on things!

I hate him, in an envious sort of way. I really hope he’s blogging about his adventures somewhere out there too.

And for all your human drunkards out there….your keys, clothing, and mobile phones are sitting in the lost and found box as well. You have until February to pick up your shit. Otherwise it gets auctioned off.

But if I were to venture a guess, I’d say that little “lost” gnome is nowhere near the auction box. Write to me, buddy! Take me with you!

Sincerely,
Yankee Doodle the Gnome

Gnomes and Ballet: An Unlikely Combination

Posted on by
Reply

Nothing is safe from gnomes. Not even the New York City ballet.

During my daily news browsing session today, I came across this article about new shows at the David H. Koch Theater. The only one I really care about is called “Namouna, a Grand Divertissement.”

Its hero (Tyler Angle on Thursday and Saturday evenings) frolics with three chic muse figures (Sterling Hyltin, Ashley Bouder and Sara Mearns), but his amorous endeavors are occasionally barred by an armored demon king or chief gnome (Daniel Ulbricht). The chief is assisted by two look-alike female lieutenants (Megan Fairchild and Abi Stafford — the gnomettes) and a corps of eight uniformed gnomes.

Apparently at some point, the head gnome relents and bestows the heroine upon the hero. Whatever the hell that means.

I’ve never been super into ballet, but this one has been described as trivial, absurd, and compelling. AND IT HAS GNOMES IN IT!!!

SUBNYCB-articleLarge

However, I do have one problem with this ballet of gnomes. Where exactly are their gnome hats? None of the photos picture dancers wearing gnome hats.

I find this absurd. But maybe I shouldn’t be too quick to judge. Perhaps hats make an appearance in the finale. Yeah, I bet that’s right.

Who wants to pick up ballet tickets and get cultured with me?

xoxo,
Roxy the Gnome

Photo credit: Andrea Mohin/The New York Times