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Author Archives: gnomeplaya
About gnomeplaya
I am the Master and Goddess of All Gnome-kind.
Local Officials Investigate”Gnome Sightings” in Switzerland!
PRESS RELEASE FROM SB WIRE
Graubünden, Switzerland — (SBWIRE) — 11/22/2013 — Local officials are investigating a number of “Gnome Sightings” in the Graubünden canton of Switzerland after a local farmer photographed something that some people are claiming “proves that Gnomes are real.” The farmer, who wishes to stay anonymous, setup a hidden motion activated camera after the vegetables in his garden began disappearing. Expecting to catch an unscrupulous neighbor or possibly a rodent, he was shocked by what he saw while reviewing the pictures the next morning.
“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was just like people had described.” said the man. Although very dark, the images he captured do contain what some people are calling the “Graubünden Gnome.” This follows a rash of reports by locals villagers throughout Graubünden over the last 18 months of “tiny human-like creatures with pointy ears and sharp teeth.”I wanted people to be aware because I don’t know if these things are dangerous” said the farmer. “I have nothing to gain from this. Only ridicule from my neighbors.”
The word Gnome comes from Renaissance Latin gnomus, which first appears in the works of 16th century Swiss alchemist Paracelsus where he perhaps derived the term from Latin gnomos (itself representing a Greek ??-?????, literally “earth-dweller”). Some villages in Graubünden have a history of nome sightings that date back more than 500 years.
Architect David Bianchi was visiting friends in Arosa when he encountered what he describes as a “tiny human-like creature with pointy ears and sharp teeth.” “I grabbed a light and went outside to investigate a strange noise I heard by the garden.” said Bianchi. “I could see a small figure of no more than 30 centimeters moving in the plants.” I thought maybe it was an animal or a small child but when I shined my light on it I could see it was neither.” “It had wrinkles like an old person but it was no person. It had sharp ears and teeth and you could see veins through it’s skin. I froze briefly until it hissed and ran away.” Binachi was at first hesitant to discuss the encounter with anyone. “I grew up in Meiringen where many people claimed to see river monsters in the Arre River and I always thought they were crazy.”
The photos are being investigated by James Moore of the Gnome Society which claims to be the largest “gnomologic community” in the world. “We are running extensive tests on these photos to determine their authenticity but everything so far leads us to believe that these are genuine.” Mr. Moore expects the tests to be completed within two weeks. In the meantime, many villages in Graubünden are recommending that small children don’t go outside after dark.
About the Gnome Society
Gnome Society is the original and largest gnomologic community of scientists, historians, journalists, and specialists from diverse backgrounds. The Gnome Society is considered the most credible and respected source in Gnomology.
The Gnome Society organizes, investigates and reports gnomologic encounters and directs expeditions to places where the encounters have occurred.
Meeting Gnome Chomsky: The World’s Second Largest Concrete Gnome
Perhaps you recall my semi-recent article about visiting the world’s largest concrete gnome in Ames, Iowa. As I road-tripped through the Northeastern United States in July, I decided it was only fair to introduce myself to the world’s second largest concrete gnome as well. His name is Gnome Chomsky and he lives at Kelder’s Farm in upstate New York.
Standing at 13-feet, 6-inches tall, Chomsky held the Guinness World Record for “world’s tallest garden gnome” for four years. Since that time, Chomsky has been “out-talled” by 15-foot Elwood in Iowa and a 17-foot, 8 inch fiberglass gnome in Poland. Competition aside, Chomsky was absolutely stunning.
Kelder’s Farm is a 100-acre working farm that sells seasonal fruits and vegetables, runs a mini-golf course, features a petting zoo, and offers educational tours for children. The farm also gives visitors the opportunity to milk a cow, enjoy a hayride, navigate a corn maze, and explore a greenhouse.
Chomsky has become famous on popular travel sites like Roadside America and Atlas Obscura. Believe it or not, Chomsky was born in New York City. Artists Maria Reidelbach, Ken Brown, and John Hutchinson built him while renovating another mini-golf course. That course closed, and in 2006, Chomsky was moved up to Kelder’s Farm in Kerhonkson, New York. “Kerhonkson needed something big and wonderful to draw attention to this beautiful part of Ulster County,” said Reidelbach, “and Kelder’s Farm is such an authentic, welcoming place, I thought a traditional, friendly, roadside colossus would be just the thing.”
After spending some quality time with Chomsky and coercing my boyfriend into taking dozens of photos, I ventured inside the barn to check out the gift shop. You can find everything from gnome t-shirts to postcards and temporary tattoos amongst the produce. Since Chomsky is no longer a world record holder, the clever folks at Kelder’s Farm have started referring to him the the “First World’s Largest Garden Gnome and the “World’s Cutest Gnome.” I must admit, he is considerably cuter than his Midwestern counterpart!
So if you ever find yourself traveling through upstate New York, I would definitely suggest stopping by Kelder’s Farm to visit Gnome Chomsky and play a round of mini-golf. And if you can’t make it out that way, at least you can keep up with him on Facebook. Yes, Chomsky has his own Facebook page!
Do you ever dream about gnomes? Because I do.
For the past several months, I’ve been paying more attention to my dreams. I’ve actually gone so far as to start a GoogleDoc and type out as many details of my dreams as possible when I can remember them. My dreams are usually pretty neutral…not overly positive and not like a scene out of a horror movie. My dreams tend to have common themes like feeling out of place, getting lost, feeling anxious, and seeing bizarre scenes along the way.
As someone who manages a blog run by gnomes, you’d think that I’d have a lot more dreams about the lil’ buggas. But you know what? I don’t! And that is unfortunate.
Last night, however, I had a dream visiting a really amazing store full of gnomes and buying one that was unlike any I’d ever seen before. Here’s how it goes:
I felt suddenly compelled to go back to the job I worked at nearly six months ago and quit to find a better path. I wondered if they needed my help again and walked to my old office to see. Not unexpectedly, there were all sorts of people I didn’t recognize sitting in my old chairs and offices.
I felt awkward and out of place. I found an empty desk and began rummaging through it. There were stacks of $20 bills in one of them. I quickly closed the drawer, figuring that I would get blamed if one went missing. I stared out of the high rise window, gave a heavy sigh, and gave up on staying any longer.
I wandered out of the building, down the street, and into a shop that I’d never seen before, but that looked intriguing. The moment I walked in the door, my eyes lit up at all the gnomes staring back at me. I fixated one one particular porcelain sculpture by the door that was centered on a tiny pink and blue high heel. There were several gnomes perched upon the high heel, along with woodland creatures like foxes and squirrels.
I texted a picture of the sculpture to my boyfriend, who said he was on his way to see this store for himself. Finally not feeling out of place any longer, I bought it.
And then I woke up.
Perhaps my dream was reaffirming my feelings of feeling unsettled and out of place in my current environment. Perhaps it was letting me know that I made the right career decision six months ago. Perhaps it was telling me to not look into the past but embrace opportunities for chance and randomness that are coming ahead.
Or perhaps it’s just telling me to buy more gnomes.
Regardless, I’m hoping to have more dreams about gnomes in the near future. Not only because I think they’re awesome, but because they have a weird way of untangling my twisted mind and clearing out some space to think.
Photo credit: madlyinlovewithlife,katieash via Flickr
Sheldon sketches out Mt. Gnomemore
Howdy, fellow travellers! I read another gnome blog awhile back that boasted of glorious heads carved into rocks. Naturally, I assumed they were gnome sculptures. I walked my weary ceramic feet over a thousand miles to Mount Rushmore just to see this supposed gnomish phenomenon.
I must say I’m disappointed. Dead white human dudes` heads? Really America, really!? Is that all you’ve got?
The highlight of my trip was meeting a pink monkey. She was a tourist as well and pretty sweet for a little fuzzy creature. There were not any humans watching the dead sculpture heads though, which I found terribly ironic.
Oh well. As. Travelling gnome, I make the best out of every travel situation. I even had a chance to create an original Sheldon work of art. I sketched out Mt. Gnomemore and I plan to make it a reality.
Mark my words.
Until my next adventure report…
Sheldon the Gnome