Author Archives: Harrison

About Harrison

Music is the truth, the way, and the light. If I can make one person open up his or her mind to see the songs in the words we speak and the notes in the text we read, I have fulfilled my purpose in this temporary existence.

I play the violin for Amish Meth Lab and I’m throwing up my hands in exultation at the opportunity to play our first gig on April 1st. I’ve played the violin since I was 4 months old and not a single day has gone by since then that I haven’t picked it up and played a few tunes.

Although I thrive upon solitude to sense the sounds of nature and feel the voices spark within my soul, I silently influence my other wayward band mates to find the spirits that will guide them on their path. I’m try to not become consumed with worry that they focus too much on fame and fortune rather than how we can make the world a beautiful place with our hard core folk reggae gifts. I pray that the spirit that rests in me will eventually rest in them.

Namaste,

Harrison The Gnome

Did you Know Philip Seymour Hoffman Once Played a Gnome?

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We like to read a lot of news over there at The Drunk Gnome, and we can’t help but notice all the articles floating around about the death of human actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman. It’s a bummer, really it is. But none of him knew the dude personally, so that’s about all we had to say on the matter.

authors voiceUntil…

We discovered that he once played the role of a gnome.

I came across James Urbaniak’s Slate article, “What I Learned from Losing a Role to Philip Seymour Hoffman“, the other day. Apparently James read for a role of Gene the Gnome in Richard Greenburg’s 1999 The Author’s Voice. 

According to James, this was “a one-act Cyrano pastiche about a young playwright, his female editor, and the “horribly twisted gnome” who lives in his closet and ghostwrites his plays.”

Horribly twisted gnome? Yeah, we can get on board with that.

James said, “Gene the Gnome seemed a natural for me; I prided myself on having a corner on weirdo intellectual outcasts.” However, James didn’t get the role, Hoffman did.

Has anyone out there seen The Author’s Voice? We’re gonna have to seek out this play for the sole reason of seeing this great actor play a gnome. Even if he isn’t intending to depict a true gnome in the literal sense. Whatever, we’ll take it because it simply sounds badass.

R.I.P. dude,
Harrison the Gnome

Celebrity Chefs Offer Hope for Gnome Nutrition

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A UK-based gardening company has shipped baking-inspired gnomes to some celebrity chefs, like Jamie Oliver and Paul Hollywood.

Will this inspire and train the next generation of gnome chefs to cook better? Historically, gnomes haven’t exactly been the best cooks in the world. But with exposure and celebrity introductions like this, we finally stand a chance to eat well again.

gnomebaker

According to Eddie Riby, Director of UK Water Features, said: “There’s a real passion right now for both growing your own fruit, veg and herbs, and also for cooking home-made meals.

“Our craze for cooking, combined with our love of gardening, means the British Baking Gnome ticks all the right boxes.”

If you check out UK Water Features’ site, you’ll see other gnomes doing more standard gnome things. There is a graduation gnome on there, and props to you buddy…getting a gnome degree is tough stuff! I have some serious concerns about your “Meergnome” though….meerkats and gnomes simply should not be breeding.

meergnome

But back to my original point, I’m excited to see gnomes hanging out with famous humans who know how to cook. We’re sick and tired of ramen noodles and hamburger helper. Our sodium levels are far too high and our taste buds have turned to mush.

The UK isn’t exactly known around here for its mind-blowing cuisine, but we’ll take whatever we can get. Any gnome interested in taking cooking classes, please contact our Practical Homemaking Activities Coordinator, Roxy, via blog reply post. Puh-leeze!!!

Yours truly,
Harrison the Gnome

Warning: Gnomish Cuteness Ahead

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gnomekidsSavannah, Georgia’s Oatland Island (mmmm and island full of oats) held it’s annual Fairy and Gnome Home Festival yesterday.

Why the hell weren’t we invited?!

Apparently, a bunch of kids dressed and searched for woodland creatures. Searched? Check yo’ eyeballs….we’re right here! Look over here at the gnome waving frantically at you! Sheesh.

kids2Regardless, you should fulfill your daily dose of cuteness and check out the slideshow from the Fairy and Gnome Home Festival. Although there’s a bunch of dumb fairy costumes mixed in there (no offense to minors), I’m a big fan of #2, #26, and #30.

Okay now I need to look at ugly things to balance out my day.

Harumph,
Harrison the Gnome

Photo credit: Savannah Now

Gnomes in Entertainment: Mr. Gnome’s House of Circles Video!

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February 28, 2013 By Jen Stratosphere Fanzine

“Nicole Barille and Sam Meister, otherwise known as Mr. Gnome, are back with a fantastic(al) and fascinating video for “House of Circles” off their latest album Madness in Miniature.  Directed by Sam himself, the video is stunning, scary, and surreal – just like the duo’s music.  Nicole and Sam describe the video as “…a live action interpretation of a sci-fi graphic novel written by Mr. Gnome featuring the dark fantasy characters from the Madness in Miniature cover art.”

This isn’t the first time that Nicole and Sam have delved heavily into the video format to create a compact mini-movie.  They released the wildly whacked out and vividly violent “Vampires” video in 2010 which has racked up over 68K views on YouTube.  That one is *not* for mass consumption, no matter how crazed the public is for vampire fodder these days…

The “House of Circles” video still maintains a violent streak, but it does so in service to the story that unfolds over its 8-minute length.  The narrative is written in the official description of the video at YouTube, but a bare-bones plot synopsis would sum it up as Good vs. Evil, and Life vs. Death.  Yes, those caps are intentional as Mr. Gnome takes on those major themes and artistically renders them with film-quality production in a sci-fi setting that blends live action and computer enhanced effects.

To go a bit more into action-packed detail, The Queen Machine (i.e., Evil) is destroying all forms of life to the point where she’s eating up the sun.  A band of rebels called The Collectors (AKA Good) try to gather pieces of the sun to ensure that Life continues.   The Queen and her minions wipe out The Collectors until only a lone survivor remains with a few pieces of the sun to her name.  This Collector battles The Queen and her army in an effort to defeat Death and restore Life to the universe.

mrGnome5

Stark and powerful action sequences ensue, with The Collector being hunted by The Queen’s nefarious army.  Daggers are drawn and arrows are let fly from bows in this medievally futuristic spacescape. Slashes of blood stand out savagely against the saturated gloom of the descending darkness.  Brilliant cataclysms of energy burst from pieces of the sun, illuminating the deep shadowy abyss. The Collector dies and is brought back to life at least once or twice, leading up to a, literally and figuratively, spectacularly smashing ending…or is it a beginning?…

The action in the video is precision-timed to the music, effectively enhancing both the visuals and the sound.  The song itself shifts between lulls and build-ups of dread and tension and an intense rocking out filled with Nicole’s unearthly wailing and Sam whaling mightily at his drum kit.  A stop-start rhythm akin to many a Queens of The Stone Age song creates an uneasy atmosphere that is pierced by Nicole’s distinctive vocals that are sharp and fiery with anxiety and defiance.”

*Originally published on DOA

*“Borrowed” by Harrison of Amish Meth Lab

A Discovery of Korean Exorcism Masks In Wyoming

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I’m just the fiddler. So what do I know? Well. Let me tell you one thing I do know. Our band hasn’t gotten any gigs in quite quite some time now.

We’ve just been driving around in the desert and McCartney won’t even tell us where we’re headed. You know what I think? Whatever, I’m going to tell you anyway. Well I think, he doesn’t even know where we’re headed!

This morning, we took a piss top in some shithole town, Wamsutter, Wyoming…Population: 273.

http://www.city-data.com/city/Wamsutter-Wyoming.html

I took this shot as I relieved my bladder on the train tracks.

The other band mates and I were all pretty cranky after being cooped up in the tour van for so long. So we decided to go on a hike and stretch our little gnome legs.

Starr and I took the lead and walked between those crappy looking buildings to see what was on the other side. Whole lots of nothingness! I took off in a sprint into the nothingness, threw my suit jacket into the dirt, and kicked off my boots. The wind blowing through my beard felt awesome. The freedom I felt being outside of that van and away from the other band mates felt even more awesome.

Everything was awesome….until I tripped and fell on my face. I think my baby toe might be broken, but I didn’t have time to tend to a toe. There were more important matters at hand….the thing that caused me to trip and fall.

McCartney, Starr, and Lennon heard my yelp and caught up to me. But they couldn’t even find the words to ask me if I was okay. They were speechless, because this is what they saw directly in front of me.

Lying right there in the dirt, were a set of Korean exorcism masks. What the hell had we just stumbled upon?!

As we looked closer, we could see that one of the masks was called the Yangban Mask and the other was called the Bunae Mask. All I knew is that they were creepy as shit and I wanted to get as far away from them as gnomely possible.

Starr whipped out his smart phone and did a quick Google search. According to the Interweb, the Yangban mask represents the ‘aristocrat’. The character looks rather jolly, but sometimes has people flogged to death if they insult him. Whoa. Don’t wanna mess with that dude.

Wait. Come to think of it, he kinda sounds like McCartney.

The Interweb also told us that the Bunae Mask represents the ‘flirtateous woman’. Well hey there, little lady. I might not mind messing with you if you put a bag over that weirdo face you got going on.

Wait. Come to think of it, she kinda sounds like that little slut, Roxy, who’s still tagging along on the tour bus for some reason.

We looked around at the nothingness around us and could not come up with any explanation why these freakish things were buried in the dirt of Wyoming countryside. Rather than ponder this thought too much further, we made a general consensus to get the hell outta there and get back to the van.

I wonder if exorcisms really do take place out there with those masks. And if McCartney and Roxy have masks that reflect their characters, does that mean Starr, Lennon, and I have masks out there somewhere too?

I guess I’ll never know, but I like to think that I have a creepy exorcism mask, made just for me, lying in the dirt somewhere and getting tripped over.

안녕히 가세요 (an-nyung-hi ka-se-yo),

Harrison The Gnome and Fiddler for Amish Meth Lab