So I was climbing some routes today and found the most peculiar thing when I reached the summit. I would have never guessed such existed, but a voodoo priestess lives atop The Gnome Abode!

After much deliberation, I got her name. She goes by “The Lady of Mount Goom” and she looks old as shit.

She said some mumbo jumbo about cat eyes and red powder. She had a bunch of weird crystals and potions haphazardly scattered around her on the mountain peak.

I was freaked the @*&$ out and didn’t ask anything further. Just one look into those empty soul eyes and I’ll never be the same. She wears a gnome hat, but how can that be considered a gnome?

Somebody needs to go figure out what her deal is, but that somebody sure as hell isn’t gonna be me.

Never gonna get to sleep now,
Sketchy Andy The Gnome

The guys around The Abode started giving me shit the other day about carrying around a fishing pole but never actually going fishing. Apparently fishing is a popular “sport” in the gnome community and I’ve been called a poser five too many times.

I tried to explain to these simpleminded gnomes that it’s really a slackline, not a fishing pole, and that fishing isn’t a sport at all. I haven’t made any headway in this argument. It seems like it’s me against the gnome world on this issue. This stupid frame is hanging on the garage wall and I vomit in my mouth just a little every time I pass by it.

My idea of “fishing” is going out for a nice fish dinner…

Or making a sandwich in the shape of a fish…

Regardless, I was rudely awakened from my afternoon nap today by Cowabunga and Yankee Doodle and this instructional article was shoved in my face: http://www.wikihow.com/Fish.

Then I was dragged by the boots out to some po-dunk pond just down the street from The Gnome Abode. Apparently their plan was to make me learn how to fish against my will. Aren’t there laws to prohibit this kind of behavior?

Against my better judgment, I stuck my slackline in the water and this is what grabbed onto the other end from inside the pond!

I’ve never seen anything glowing so brightly! I’ve heard the news reports about all those radioactive fish over in Japan, but surely they couldn’t have made their way through the waterways to the local gnome pond, could they?!

Cowabunga and Yankee Doodle seem to have disappeared all of the sudden. WTF?! They were all gung-ho about this whole fishing bullshit. Then I catch a really cool looking one and they bail?!

I’m trying to decide if I want to eat this lil’ bugga or keep him as a pet. He keeps oozing green slime all over the place so I guess I’ll have to make a decision soon.

Advice welcome!

Sketchy Andy The Gnome