About Yankee Doodle

Drizzunk up in da house. Whoop there it is. Shimmy shimmy coco pop. I gotta take a whiz.

We are Yankee and Doodle and we are the gnomes that live on the side of a flask. We might possibly have the best job ever.

Pourin’ One Out For my Gnomies

As our dear Alfredo explained to you yesterday, Easter is a very tragic time in the gnome community. I would like to dedicate this post to one of our beloved brothers, Chaka Kahn, who risked his life standing guard by the door to keep those all evil bunny rabbits and scavenger children away.

But he was only one gnome. And one gnome can only do so much.

I would like to dedicate this poem to our dearly departed brother, Chaka Khan, as well as the others who suffered a similar fate yesterday.

Rest in Peace
Our fallen gnome soldier
There’s so many things
That we never told ya


You were brave and selfless
The very best gnome guard
The world feared your mushroom
And respected you in the yard


I saw the bunnies charging
I heard the children’s screams
I saw your life flash before my eyes
Like one of my bad dreams


But it was too late
You shattered apart
And I’ll always miss
Your piece of my heart


Pourin’ one out for my gnomies,

Yankee Doodle

Beer Sampler Trays are the Universe’s Gift to Gnomekind

Tonight I decided to get off my lazy ass and do something on a Friday night. I know…weird, right?! My ass moving destination was the liquor store. I figure…what better excuse to get out of the house than to go out and buy something that will keep me in the house! Goddamn I love logic.

Well I missed the driveway to get into Binny’s. Then I accidentally ran a red light. The I kinda sorta sideswiped this orange jeep. So I kept driving. And driving. And driving. Next thing I know, I’m in Holland, Michigan.

Holy hell there’s a brewery here! Well fancy my pants and shiver my timbers!

I was handed a sampler tray menu by a man in a beard. So many magnificent choices! After much deliberation and sneezing, I made my touch decisions and this beautiful thing arrived at my table-for-one. If you have really awesome eyesight, you can totally read the comments I made by each of the six beers I chose. If you’re blind as a bat (are bats really blind? Must Google it), I will report my brief initial reactions to you in some sort of logical manner.

1. Full Circle kolsch-style beer – More flavor than normal kolsch beers. Not too sweet.

2. Mad Hatter IPA – Not as hoppy as most IPAs. But I still hate IPAs. Very malty.

3. Sundog Amber Ale – A lot going on. Flavors galore. A lot of carbonation.

4. Cabin Fever Brown Ale – Roast-like flavor. Similar to New Castle, but more flavor. Not as heavy as a stout. Slightly smoky.

5. Dragon’s Milk Ale Aged in Oak Barrels – Milky and dessert like brew. Could only have one. Very smooth and creamy.

6. Night Tripper Imperial Stout – Several layers and a lot going on. Bitter aftertaste. Similar to The Beast at the Avery Brewery in Colorado, not less flavor and alcohol content than that.

Overall, I think New Holland Brewery is an excellent place and I recommend stopping by the next time you find yourself needing to get out of the house.


Sippy sippy,

Yankee & Doodle (Don’t ask about Dandy. It was a tragic incident and we don’t to discuss it in public forums.)