The Making of a Gnome Skirt

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As one of literally three lady gnomes living at The Gnome Abode, the guys naturally looked to me to mend their torn overalls and ripped shirts. Just when you think you’re living in the 21st century, right?

But I didn’t let my feminism get the best of me. I gave this wonky machine a chance, and it gave me a chance in return.

Sorry boys, I’ve found a new love. And it’s not you.

sew

I told the boys to bug off while I made something for myself. I’ve been wearing the same, tired old dress every damn day for years now. It was time I made myself a skirt…A GNOME SKIRT!photo

You wouldn’t probably think to look at it, but skirt-making is an incredibly tedious process. There’s a zipper, and a hook, and an eye, and this weird stuff called interfacing, and even though you have a machine you have to sew some stuff by hand.

Personally, I still think that whole hand sew thing is whack. This is the technology age for godssake!

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But after several weeks of trials and tribulations…voilà! A completed skirt!

Whaddya think?!?

Have you caught the sewing bug? Itching to pick up some gnome fabric of your own? Check out these awesome gnome fabrics!

Any other gnome seamstresses out there? I’d love to see your stuff. Red rover, red rover, send gnome pics right over!

xoxo,
Roxy the crafty gnome

Gnome Bakers: Unusual Bread and Rolls in New York City

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There once was a place in New York City. It served “unusual bread and rolls.” And it was run by gnomes.

gnomebakers

Never mind how “unusual” bread products could really, honestly be. You just never mind that.

According to to Ephemeral New York, this ad was part of a 1973 New York Mets program.

But the story doesn’t stop there. Apparently there was ANOTHER Gnome Bakers location documented 40 years earlier.

According to New York Times photographer, Fred R Conrad, 316 East 59th Street was home to Gnome Bakers. The bakery owners designed the front of the building to look like the sort of place where tiny gnomes would be mixing up baked goods. Although the picture doesn’t do it justice, a giant bearded gnome once rested against the chimney munching on a piece of bread.

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Today 316 East 59th Street is home to a chiropractor’s office. Lame.

Curbed corroborated the story and revealed that the giant munching gnome and the Gnome Bakers simply disappeared from the premises after they went bankrupt in the early 1930s.

And they found an awesome photo of the giant gnome perched atop the bakery building!

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But all this research has led me to more questions than answers.

Who WERE the gnome bakers?

Where did they go in the early 30s?

What ever became of the giant munching gnome?

And what exactly did make gnome bread SO unusual?

I would have loved to be alive in the 30s, if for nothing else, to visit this amazing-looking bakery. So Gnome Bakers, if you’re out there reading this…come back! I’m sure New York would welcome you with open arms and a fresh bag of flour.

Gnome bread forever.

xoxo,
Ramon LeBeef the Gnome

446 Gnomes Stand Proud at Australia’s Gnomeageddon 2014!

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The Guinness World Record for the number of humans dressed as gnomes in one place is 478. Betcha didn’t know that, did ya?

Well one Australian group celebrating Gnomeageddon 2014 almost broke that record…but not quite. They had 446 gnomes in attendance. Just 33 shy of record breaking!

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How did this happen YESTERDAY?!

We could have helped!

Well, if Gnomeageddon tickets include round-trip airfare from the U.S., that is.

Anyhoo, this recent gnome activity came about as part of a “Gnome Macca’s in Tecoma” campaign. According to the Herald Sun, No Macca’s in the Dandenong Ranges protesters donned gnome hats, aprons and boots yesterday in attempt to shatter a world record for the number of people dressed as garden gnomes.

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This is all part of a plot to thwart the success of an evil McDonald’s restaurant with a wretched 24-hour drive through in Tecoma. According to the gNOme Maccas in Tecoma’s Facebook page:

Tecoma is good habitat for us gnomes, the gardens and forest are lush and green and the residents lovingly protect and conserve these spaces. However, should McDonalds build their junkfood takeaway, our moonlight frolicking will be interrupted by lights and traffic, and our habitat ruined by litter. Where will some of us live if the Tecoma No Maccas community garden gets bulldozed?! There is no gnome habitat amongst the fake turf and plastic décor of a McDonald’s.

We hear you loud and clear guys. Down with McDonald’s! Up with nature!

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Now that the dreadful “restaurant” is operating for business, Gnomeageddon will be an annual event until it’s shut down for good. Stay strong, gnomies.

Sorry we missed it, and hope to join in next year!

FIGHT THE POWER,
Pablo the Gnome

Gnomes as Symbols of Polish Anti-Communism Protest!?!

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The Orange Alternative is an underground anarchic movement, which was started in 1981 in Wroclaw, located in southwest Poland. Why are we gnomes interested in Polish politics? Well, they’re associating our likeness with a symbol of Polish opposition against communism. 

Fun!

The group’s purpose was has been to conduct peaceful protest by using absurd and nonsensical elements. By all accounts, these “nonsensical elements” have been described as dwarfs – which we’re fine with because frankly, dwarfs really don’t make any sense.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

But one recent news story caught our attention because the city of Wroclaw began using GNOMES as a promotional symbol. According to Polskie Radio, “The city has been banned from using the (gnome) symbol as any further part of its promotional activities, and it must apologies to 61-year-old ‘Major’ Waldemar Fydrych, founder of the so-called Orange Alternative.”

Apparently, the city used the symbol of a gnome (vaguely resembling a controversial dwarf) on promotional t-shirts, mugs, and even in a campaign film to become the 2016 European City of Culture. Polish gnomes are so sophisticated!

Clearly, these folks are not gnome experts because in actuality, we have very little in common with the common dwarf. Regardless, humans mix us up all the time, and this particular human decided to cause a ruckus.

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Fydrych’s Orange Alternative was launched back in 1980 and became popular after the Solidarity Movement was banned. If you ask me, it was the protesters dressed as orange dwarfs (a.k.a. gnomes), mocking the regime through absurd humor and slogans like “Dwarf for President! and “Only dwarfs can save the country!”

So as for the most recent usage of orange gnomes, the Orange Alternative wins and the city of Wroclaw loses. “This case drew a lot of attention, because the town hall is after all an institution of public trust,” Fydrych said. “I hope that there will now be a change in the way people think about copyright law, and how it should be respected.”

And that, my friends, is your Polish gnome news update for the day. Consider yourselves enlightened. You’re welcome.

As reported by,
Cowabunga the Gnome

Let’s Learn a Lil’ Bit About A Band Called Broken Gnome…

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It’s common knowledge that gnomes are amazing musicians. Take for example, Gnome, The UnGnomes, The Gnome Addicts, Mr. Gnome and of course our very own Amish Meth Lab.

Well we have a newcomer on the gnome band scene, and they call themselves Broken Gnome.

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Photo by Jesse Meisenhelter

In an interview with The Mac Weekly, band members, Will, Dan, Jonas, and Thomas gave us a few insights about their band.

Why are you guys called “The Gnome Home”?

JKY: We’re in a band…

DV: Called Broken Gnome. And we live in a house together.

About their style of music…

JKY: We play Gnome Rock.

WK: It’s Us Rock. Friend Rock.

TL: Will, you’re wearing some really great pants today.

And about their gnome home…

DV: We’re gonna record hopefully as Gnome.

WK: We want to plug GnomeFest. There’s a Facebook page, it’s a public event.

JKY: We did it last year. It’s a music festival—we had nine bands, I think—and we grilled and drank beers and everyone had a good time. There were mosh pits. We’re doing it again this year—it’s on May 10th, a Saturday, starting at 2 or 3.

Hold up, wait a minute. We interrupt this scheduled interview reiteration to do a quick Google search of GnomeFest. 

Searching…

Searching…

Google fail!

We can’t find anything about this alleged gnome event. We did, however, find a May 24th Broadwell Football Club sponsored event called Gnome-Fest. So alright guys, where’s this fest of YOURS happening?

Musically yours in spirit and such,
Starr the Gnome, of Amish Meth Lab