Monthly Archives: February 2014

There’s a Gnome Skiing in the Olympics!

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We gnomes have been really into watching the Olympics in Sochi this winter. Snowboarding, ice skating, luge…you name it!

Sweden's Per Spett reacts at the finish line during the men's freestyle skiing moguls qualification round at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics in Rosa Khutor, Feb. 10, 2014. (DYLAN MARTINEZ/Reuters)

Photo credit: DYLAN MARTINEZ/Reuters

Alas, we have finally settled on our very favorite Olympic athlete of these games. His name is Per Spett. He’s from Sweden. And apparently, he’s a gnome. Per is a freestyle moguls skier who finished in 11th place. Thanks to his small frame (he’s 5’6″) and his enviable beard, fans say he looks like a skiing gnome.

Despite his lack of medal-winning, he’s been insanely popular in these games. In the off-season, he works at an iron-ore mine in northern Sweden. I suppose that’s as good of a place as any for a gnome.

Have you seen any other Olympian gnomes in the Sochi games?

USA Gymnastics Tomi the Olympian Gnome

Team USA Shop sells some summer Olympian gnomes, but we have yet to see any of the winter variety.

Tip us off is you come across any others besides Per!

Rock on, Per. Moguls are crazy.
Benjamin “sporty spice” gnome

Queen of England Receives Gnome (and bunch of worthless jewelry)

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queen

“Every item on an official list of gifts given to members of the Royal family last year provides a fascinating insight into how various dignitaries, companies and members of the public have tried to solve the issue of what to give someone who wants for nothing – often with hilarious consequences.” – The Telegraph

royal gnomesNot surprisingly, one of the Queen’s gifts this year was a GNOME. In less interesting news, she also received:

  • a knitted hat with horse ears
  • a plastic angel
  • a book titled Your Arms Remind Me of Pork Luncheon Meat
  • a 5-strand pearl necklace
  • 4 enameled scarab beetles
  • a diamond and tourmaline brooch

According to chief reporter, Gordon Rayner, “Official gifts to members of the Royal family are not their private property, but are held by them on behalf of the Queen. They can be consumed, used or displayed by the Royal family, loaned to galleries or, in the case of gifts worth less than £150, given to charity if they are not likely to be used.”

Hey, Royal Gnome. Hey buddy! Are you being consumed, displayed, loaned, or hanging out in a charity these days? What does the Queen really DO all day? We’re dying to know – write us back, please 🙂

Thinking of you,
Tabitha, Queen of the Gnomes

International update: Australians Painting Gnomes for Charity

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It’s time for the Bega Show garden gnome painting competition! Local celebrities in the area are painting gnomes for charity, which will be auctioned off for big gnome bucks.

gnome1

This writer dude, Ben Smythe, started off with a red hat – good call, buddy. “After that it was bit of a mish-mash of colours, styles and fashions – and a rather sun-blemished skin tone – so perhaps not so far from my own personality as I would normally admit,” he said.

The chamber of commerce president and a portrait award finalist are also celebrity gnome painters, churning and burning killer gnome designs. For now, the gnomes of Mayor Bill Taylor, entertainer Frankie J Holden and River Cottage Australia host Paul West remain a mystery. Bega Show chief pavilion steward Barb Rogers is remaining tight-lipped on that front, so curious gnome aficionados will have to wait until show day for the reveal!

gnome2

Local charities like the Rural Fire Service will be collecting in on those charity funds and gnome-related social media scene is BLOWING UP!

Gnome painting seems to be the NEXT BIG THING in charitable giving these days. Do a good deed. Paint a gnome this weekend and watch the good karma roll right in!

Tootaloo,
EvanGelical the Gnome

Did you Know Philip Seymour Hoffman Once Played a Gnome?

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We like to read a lot of news over there at The Drunk Gnome, and we can’t help but notice all the articles floating around about the death of human actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman. It’s a bummer, really it is. But none of him knew the dude personally, so that’s about all we had to say on the matter.

authors voiceUntil…

We discovered that he once played the role of a gnome.

I came across James Urbaniak’s Slate article, “What I Learned from Losing a Role to Philip Seymour Hoffman“, the other day. Apparently James read for a role of Gene the Gnome in Richard Greenburg’s 1999 The Author’s Voice. 

According to James, this was “a one-act Cyrano pastiche about a young playwright, his female editor, and the “horribly twisted gnome” who lives in his closet and ghostwrites his plays.”

Horribly twisted gnome? Yeah, we can get on board with that.

James said, “Gene the Gnome seemed a natural for me; I prided myself on having a corner on weirdo intellectual outcasts.” However, James didn’t get the role, Hoffman did.

Has anyone out there seen The Author’s Voice? We’re gonna have to seek out this play for the sole reason of seeing this great actor play a gnome. Even if he isn’t intending to depict a true gnome in the literal sense. Whatever, we’ll take it because it simply sounds badass.

R.I.P. dude,
Harrison the Gnome