About Caesar

I’m that weird guy in your office who seems to need an IV drip of coffee at all times to function at a normal gnome-like level. Everyone always thinks I must an overworked insomniac and could also really use a shower.

Then one day I try to make out with you in the supply closet. My breath reeks of Bailey’s Irish Cream Liquor! It all makes sense to you now! I’ve never been drinking coffee at all! So you let me make out with you. Eh, why not? You’e probably had worse.

I contribute occasionally in the ‘Gnome Brew Review’ Category. I’m opinionated, sneaky, and like to be handled (wink wink).

1930s Gnomes Take Over Rock City

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Caesar

Okay has anybody been to Rock City?

It’s around Chattanooga, Tennessee, and although we gnomes have passed through the area a couple times, we still haven’t’ had a chance to visit.

The oldest one of us living around The Gnome Abode was born in about 1970. But Fips has got nothing on the Rock City gnomes.

Photo credit: See Mid TN (Brent) via Flickr

Rock City is a big amusement-type attraction, but what we really care about seeing is the trail with all the gnomes living along it. Some of those gnomes have been greeting visitors since the 1930s, so obviously they’ve grown a little tattered and torn over the years.

“They fit perfectly with Rock City because we are trying to make this a place where you can stop and appreciate what you don’t always get to because we are always on cell phones and don’t see our surroundings,” longtime employee Joy Giles told News Channel 9.

A dude named Matt Dutton is to thank for keeping all these ancient gnomes in tip-top shape. He looks at old photos to keep the gnomes’ coloring consistent and paints and repairs them as needed. Matt uses urethane resin and a hardner to fills his handmade molds, meanwhile restoring each little one’s unique personality.

Photo credit: See Mid TN (Brent) via Flickr

“They become little sculptures, little pieces of art and if people understand that maybe they will have more appreciation of what they are looking at,” Dutton said. “This isn’t just a gnome, it’s a handmade gnome here in Chattanooga.”

Looks like we found ourselves another reason to head back down to Tennessee!

Happy Friday gnomies!

xoxo,
Caesar the Gnome

PS – for more great photos of the Rock City gnomes, check out SeeMidTN.com!

Michigan’s Rustic Gnome Helps You Brew Your Own Booze!

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Caesar

Some gnomes drink drinks and some gnomes make drinks…from scratch. I am of the former persuasion. Shocking, I know. But I’m lazy. And you probably guessed that too.

I recently became acquainted with a human named Craig Corey, who owns Rustic Gnome in Adrian. He’s been making his own wine for over 20 years and later started making home-brewed beer too. Now, Craig has opened up a new shop so you can make your own booze too…and it’s called Rustic Gnome. Oh and it’s in Michigan.

Telegram photo by Linda Campbell lenconnect_com

Why “rustic?” Craig’s all about getting back to basics.

Why “gnome?” Well look at the guy….he clearly looks like one of us. “I have a beard and I’m kind of a round fellow,” he said. Love ya, buddy!

According to the local newspaper, he’s looking to hook up with local organic fruit growers so he can help people make booze from scratch instead of using concentrates. Right on, man. Also coming soon: ingredients to make mead, cider, cheese, yogurt, and sodas!

Rustic Gnome is open 11-7 Monday through Friday and 8-2 on Saturday. Check out their website to learn more about how you can get tipsy without the burden of corporate propaganda.

Here at TheDrunkGnome, we LOVE supporting gnome businesses and wish Rustic Gnome the very best of business luck 🙂

xoxo,
Caesar the Gnome

Where to Dress Up Like a Gnome and Drink Beer on Saturday

Posted on December 5, 2013 by Caesar

I won’t hold you in suspense any longer…

It’s Sanford, Florida!

WHO: Gnomes and humans dressed up like gnomes

WHAT: The 3rd annual Hysterical Tour of Gnomes

WHEN: This Saturday, December 7th from 3-9pm

WHY: Inherently weird people in this Orlando suburb are making fun of the Historic Tour of Homes. According to the Orlando Sentinel, “Instead of strolling through snooty rich people’s houses, revelers on the Tour of Gnomes will stumble through Bad Monkey Tavern (105 W. Second St.),Little Fish Huge Pond (401 S. Sanford Ave.) and three other Sanford bars while dressed as gnomes (or elves, or trolls, or leprechauns — the barkeeps aren’t picky). There will be a costume contest, so sharpen up that pointy hat.”

WHERE: I just typed the addresses above, dum dum.

C’mon people this is a no-brainer. It only costs 10 bucks and you can drink and look like one of us. See ya there?

xoxo,
Ceasar the Florida-bound gnome

Gnome Disc Golf Tournament Tomorrow!

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Caesar

Rise Of The Gnome Disc Golf Tournament Is Saturday

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Rise of the Gnome disc golf tournament will be on Saturday. This will be the second disc golf tournament held at Camp Jordan. It will be hosted by Kevin Tuner of the Chattanooga Flying Disc Club. The CFDC is a local non-profit which promotes youth recreation through disc-related activities, disc golf and ultimate.

Officials said, “We create opportunities for local families by building disc golf facilities, providing low cost recreation for the community. We feel that getting the kids off the couch, out from in front of the Gameboys is important to promote healthy outdoor activities with family and friends. Kids who have health active relationships with their family become our leaders our future.”

The CFDC and its members have been active participants in funding and building courses at the Chambliss Home, Carver recreation center and multiple other locations in the area surrounding Chattanooga. Camp Jordan is the newest and largest disc golf course in the area.

The tournament on Saturday will put on display a huge array of skill sets in disc golf, from some of the best players in the Southeast to players who had only played for a few months.

Rounds will be in play from 10 a.m.-12 p.m. and from approximately 2-5 p.m.

*I love disc golf. Why don’t we throw a tournament tomorrow here at The Gnome Abode too!?

Team organization meeting today at 4.

Yours in stoner wellness,
Caesar the gnome

Bike for the (Gnome) Gold!

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Caesar

Some bikers bike for trophies. Others for glory. And still others for GNOMES.

Leave it to Western Australia to come up with a bike race where the prizes are golden versions of us. Australians are always good for a lil’ gnomish jaunt.

South West Cyclists get together on September 8th in Dardanup to compete for the coveted Golden Gnome. It’s called in the Livelighter Dardanup Tour. And apparently there’s a a bunch of gnomes going out as prizes to make people who suck at biking feel a little better too.

I’ll admit, these little golden guys are pretty badass. However, it does beg the question…should gnomes really be considered trophies?

I mean, you’re a human, right? How would you like it if we hosted a little foot race and gave YOU out as a prize?

You do realize that each one of those golden gnomes had a life of his own before being assigned as you trophy?

But I won’t dwell on it. Well, maybe I already have. News stories like this make me feel torn. One one hand, the bike race is promoting the gnomish spirit of good luck and good cheer to people otherwise unfamiliar with our awesomeness. On the other hand, it is perpetuating the misconception that gnomes are things and not beings.

I’ll leave you with this: cyclists treat your gnomes well. If your weird human legs can peddle faster than the others, then consider yourself endowed with a responsibility to become a faithful and true gnome guardian. I am trusting that since you like the outdoors enough to bike in it, that you’ll also spend an ample time outdoors with your new golden friend.

Happy biking!
Caesar the Gnome

The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

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