Author Archives: Dumblebore

About Dumblebore

I’m Horace’s little brother. You probably know him, but you’ve probably never heard of me. Such is life. He calls me dumb and a bore. Hence my nickname. I can’t remember my real name.

However, I provide an important service to The Gnome Abode. I’m the gnomish grave digger. C’mon, we live a long time, but you didn’t expect us to live forever, did you?!

Help Name this Brooklyn Gnome!

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Happy Friday, Gnomies!

Your help is needed…urgently.

There’s a gnome in a Brooklyn pub in urgent need of a name.

We learned about this little bugga through the Brooklyn Heights Blog. The Custom House in Brooklyn Heights (139 Montague Street) has a new gnome and sadly, he remains nameless.

Custon House FB: Help us name our new friend !!! “________” The Gnome has arrived from Ireland and will be taking up residence at the Custom House and Joining us during Our St Patrick’s Day, Weekend Festivities. We need your help to name him. Enter our “Name the gnome competition” for a chance to win a $50 Gift Certificate for The Custom House. Entries must be received by St Patrick’s Day. Like us on facebook to stay connected and see if your a winner.

We voted for M’Goodness M’Guinness, but don’t let our expertise influence your vote too much. Get your vote on, gnomies…it’s your patriotic duty and such.

Enter Your Vote Here! 

Chug a freaking lug,
Dumblebore the Gnome

 

Gnome Website of the Day – GnomeFrenzy.com

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GnomeFrenzy.com

Step 1: Go there.

Step 2: Spend some time poking around.

Step 3: Find enlightenment

One of our newest gnome scouts directed us to this website recently and we’ve been enthralled ever since. “Finding good homes for happy gnomes” is their motto and they’re doing pretty damn well at it.

There are plenty of websites lurking around the Interweb soliciting gnome memorabilia. GnomeFrenzy also offers helpful advice for the weary and downtrodden.

gnomefrenzy

Got questions about how to pick out a gnome? They can help. Need to brush up your gnome history. No problem over here! Although the Gnome Gnews is a couple years out of date, it’s still worth a nostalgic browse. (Psst! Hey guys, call us! We read and report on gnome gnews every day!)

One section we found particularly intriguing is the one about Custom Gnomes. One particular project comes to mind – could you guys do a custom Jeep back wheel cover? We’ve got a Gnomemobile with a very cold spare tire.

We’ll be in touch 😉

So anyway, that’s your website recommendation for the day. The Interweb is a confusing place for gnomes these days. Let me be your guide.

Let the Friday madness begin!
Dumblebore the Gnome

Ex-Politician Liberates Gnomes in Australia

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It should come as no surprise to Australians that ex-politician, Eoin Cameron, is propagating the gnome liberation movement. Formerly a liberal member for the Federal seat of Stirling, Cameron is now a famous radio announcer.

EoinWanna know a little more about the guy? Well he likes cooking, American cars, eating, and drinking. He also likes GARDENING. And you know what “gardening” is code for…GNOMES.

Cameron has started a campaign called The Gnomecoming, and his mission is to liberate garden gnomes in Perth. Cameron predicts that radio station 720 ABC Perth’s resident gnome, Rascal, will be the first set free.

oppressiveCameron is offering to take any and all garden gnomes to Gnomesville for a happier lifestyle. Area residents are encouraged to release their gnomes from captivity and let them join the others at the junction of Wellington Mill and Ferguson roads.

Apparently over 3,000 gnomes have migrated from oppressive homes to Gnomeville. If you’d like to free your gnome, you can drop it off with a donation to the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation at the radio station.

gnomevilleWe at The Drunk Gnome would like to publicly show our support for Cameron and his gnome liberation movement. We’ve been stalking your Facebook page, buddy, and we see mention of winning a weekend away to see Gnomesville in the beautiful Ferguson Valley.

Does this include airfare from the States? If so, we have lots of gnomes to send your way!

Reporting live from nowhere near Australia,
Dumblebore the Gnome

Gnome Beer Week! September 18th – 21st!

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Are you as pumped for Gnome Week as we are?! It’s September 18th – 21st, so get ready!

Gnome week

 

It’s sponsored by our favorite brewery of all time, La Chouffe. There’s a list of gnome-friendly bars that are participating….check it out!
https://www.facebook.com/LaChouffe.beer/app_182734511849182

We gnomes will be in Texas during this time and we’re mad as hell that there are no participating bars in the Lone Star State. C’mon cowboys, pick up the slack!

This is very exciting news for us over here and we’re getting too frantic to type straight.

Gnome beer!

Friday!

Woot!

xoxo,
Dumblebore the Gnome

Huge Gnome Sighting at A&L Grocer!

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I went drunk bowling other night. Yes, of course gnomes bowl. Don’t be silly.

I actually have my own shoes (because alleys tend to only carry human sizes) and I’m saving up for my own ball. Bowling balls are expensive. Lately, I’ve been using a nectarine.

But be honest. We all really know that bowling is about the cheap beer.

But, I digress.

Don’t worry, I’ll tell you more about my bowling career soon. I’m getting better and I even bowled a 18 my last frame….double digits, baby!!!

After wowing everyone’s socks off with that 18, I decided to end on a good note and head home. I was staggering a bit, but nearly to my bus stop when I caught of a glimpse of something huge…and magnificent.

A huge gnome in a grocery store!

photo 1

This sucka was nearly 3-foot tall (if my drunken measurement estimations are anywhere near accurate) and he was holding a sign that was turned away.

The tiny store was called A&L Grocer and for those of you in the Chicago area, it’s located on Addison between Hamilton and Leavitt. See look, they even get 3.5 stars on Yelp!

photo 2Most unfortunately, the store was closed at that ungodly time of night. Just like momma always said, “nothing good happens after dark!”

But momma was wrong, because this gnome sighting did!

The whole point is that gnomes this big are very rare to find. Where did he come from? What’s his name? And how did he get hooked up with a grocery store gig?

I suppose another trip to A&L during business hours is in order to find out the answers to these very important questions. TO…BE…CONTINUED…

Sincerely,
Dumblebore the Gnome