About Ramon LeBeef

Animal rights, bitches. Because gnomes aren’t the only ones hanging around here.

~A quote by me, Ramón LeBeef

‘Tis the Season: Gnome Holiday Gift Giving Guide!

Posted on November 22, 2015 by Ramon LeBeef

It’s that time of year again…gift-giving season! Chances are that not everyone on your list is as enthused about gnomes as you are. But that certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t share your passion for collecting around the holidays.

Gnome-inspired gifts can come from your favorite local garden stores, online retailers, and even homemade creations that you craft by hand. So if you need a little inspiration for the loved ones in your life, check out my Gnome Holiday Giving Guide. Have fun browsing and shopping!

For Her: “Splurge” gnome purse or “budget” gnome purse

For Him: “Hangin’ with my gnomies” men’s pajama set

For Babies: Gnome onesie with red hat

For Kids: Paintable garden gnome set

For Teens: Brightly-colored gnome socks

For Grandparents: “I’ll be gnome for Christmas” throw pillow

For Neighbors: “Gnome crossing” sign

For Gardener Friends: Chia pet gnome

For Book Club Friends: Wil Huygen’s Gnomes, Deluxe Collector’s Edition

For Travelers: Gnome postcards with gnome postage stamps and gnome luggage tags

For Service Men & Women: Original combat garden gnomes

For Dog & Cat Lovers: Gnome pet ID tags and gnome hat/beard costumes

For Gnome Haters (we all know them): “Gnome-be-gone” garden art

A version of this article was published in the most recent edition of the International Gnome Club Newsletter. Gimme a shout if you want more info on joining our awesome club or writing some gnome-worthy news of your own!

For more online gnome shopping resources, check out Amazon, Café Press, Zazzle, Gnome Frenzy, and Find Gift.

The Day I Met Big Ears, Gnome Friend of Noddy from Enid Blyton’s Books

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Ramon LeBeef

Ahhh, hello there gnomies. It sure is easy to get caught up on all that Facebook crap and forget home much I love my original home…the drunk blog.

Not only did I rediscover the blog, but I also discovered an old timey gnome friend that I never before knew existed.

He sits!

His name is Big Ears, and despite the typically normal quality of a gnome’s ears, he is a gnome friend Noddy from the Enid Blyton books. A good friend shipped him to us in the post, and my were we glad for make his acquaintance!

Some of us gnomes aren’t old enough to remember, but Big Ears was a crazy book and TV character in the mid-1900s. After doing a bit of digging, here’s what I came up with about or strange visitors distant past.

Big Ears emerged onto the scene because of a little wooden boy named Noddy. Through a course of woodcarving, unwarranted fear, and aimless wandering, he meets Big Ears, who is sometimes referred to as a brownie.

What’s a brownie, you ask? Well I just read your mind.

According to English and Scottish folklore, a brownie is a legendary creature that resembles a hobgobiln and inhabits houses. #TheMoreYouKnow

Well this Big Ears character was wise and lived in a toadstool house outside of Toytown. Thinking that Noddy, the wooden boy, is a toy, Big Ears takes him in, and in true gnomish fashion, takes care of him to a T.

Long story short, the Noddy and Big Ears stories were published between 1949 and 1963 – all 24 of them! He was on TV back in 1955 and a new Noddy in Toyland aired in 2011-2012. And all this time we were clueless…

We would officially like to welcome Big Ears to our humble Gnome Abode. He’s the perfect size to accompany us as we move to a brand new gnome-friendly city in the upcoming weeks!

And don’t worry…we’ll stop teasing you about your ears one of these days.

He stands!

Have you read these books or watched this show? Recommendations welcome – I feel the need for a book/show review coming on!

xoxo,
Ramon LeBeef the Gnome

Gnome Bakers: Unusual Bread and Rolls in New York City

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Ramon LeBeef

There once was a place in New York City. It served “unusual bread and rolls.” And it was run by gnomes.

Never mind how “unusual” bread products could really, honestly be. You just never mind that.

According to to Ephemeral New York, this ad was part of a 1973 New York Mets program.

But the story doesn’t stop there. Apparently there was ANOTHER Gnome Bakers location documented 40 years earlier.

According to New York Times photographer, Fred R Conrad, 316 East 59th Street was home to Gnome Bakers. The bakery owners designed the front of the building to look like the sort of place where tiny gnomes would be mixing up baked goods. Although the picture doesn’t do it justice, a giant bearded gnome once rested against the chimney munching on a piece of bread.

Today 316 East 59th Street is home to a chiropractor’s office. Lame.

Curbed corroborated the story and revealed that the giant munching gnome and the Gnome Bakers simply disappeared from the premises after they went bankrupt in the early 1930s.

And they found an awesome photo of the giant gnome perched atop the bakery building!

But all this research has led me to more questions than answers.

Who WERE the gnome bakers?

Where did they go in the early 30s?

What ever became of the giant munching gnome?

And what exactly did make gnome bread SO unusual?

I would have loved to be alive in the 30s, if for nothing else, to visit this amazing-looking bakery. So Gnome Bakers, if you’re out there reading this…come back! I’m sure New York would welcome you with open arms and a fresh bag of flour.

Gnome bread forever.

xoxo,
Ramon LeBeef the Gnome

Happy Thanksgiving from the Pilgrim & Indian Gnomes!

Posted on November 27, 2013 by Ramon LeBeef

Pilgrims, Indians, and gnomes are reenacting the first Thanksgiving for you…even though none of these parties have actually celebrated together in the history of space and time. Because who doesn’t enjoy an inaccurate and somewhat offensive historical reenactment around this time of year?! Cheers!

On behalf of all the drunk gnomes, I’d like to wish you all a Happy Freaking Thanksgiving!

To keep up with the holiday spirit, here are a few things we’re thankful about this year:

No trolls have conquered our native land, The Gnome Abode
That lingering pumpkin beer we hid in the back of the closet
Finger-less gloves

Yep, that about sums it up. Now go eat a bunch of stuff. Okey-dokey toot-a-loo.

Next up – LIVE reporting from the feasting table!

Thank you, and you, and I guess you as well.
Ramon LeBeef the Gnome

Gnome Leads Anti-Litter Effort on Staten Island

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Ramon LeBeef

According to the Staten Island Advance, a gnome is leading the charge against litterers in New York. You go, gnome!

“We want to be known as the borough of parks, not the borough of litter,” Deputy Borough President Ed Burke said, against a backdrop of empty beer cans and dumped tires.

My fellow environmental activist gnome, who goes by Garbage Gary, is set to make an announcement in the near future. So clean up yo’ shit, Staten Island or you’ll have a whole heap of pissed off gnomes banging down your garbage-filled houses.

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Peace,
Ramon LeBeef the Gnome

Photo credit: Ryan Lavis

The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

Author Archives: Ramon LeBeef