It’s the evening of Christmas Eve and what am I doing? Well as your gnomerhood librarian, I’m reading of course!

I just finished a delightful little novel called Gnome For The Holidays by Jennifer Zane. Roxy The Gnome recommended it to me after she gave rave reviews for Ms. Zane’s first gnome novel, Gnome On The Range.

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not your typical macho guy gnome. I like my romance novels and I’m not afraid to show it. Gnome For The Holidays is Ms. Zane’s third gnome novel.

THREE NOVELS ABOUT GNOMES! SHE’S MY HERO!

The novel is set in Bozeman, Montana and the main character is a professional graphic designer but somewhat lonesome young woman named Emma. The setting is focused at a “white elephant” Christmas gift exchange party that Emma attends. The delightful, meddling, and porn shop-owning character of Goldie plays a critical role in this third novel as well.

Goldie convinces Emma to let her pick a gift from her porn shop to bring to the   white elephant party. Much to her surprise, Emma runs into a significant man from her past at the party and a whole lot of drama is stirred up. Emma just “happens” to pick A GNOME NAMED GEORGE as her white elephant her gift. The significant man just “happens” to pick (spoiler alert!) the porn shop gift. And you’re gonna have to read the story to get the rest of the scoop.

It’s Christmas Eve for godssake….shouldn’t you be reading something holiday-related about gnomes and kinda dirty?! Check the book out on GoodReads and Amazon!

Merry freaking Christmas to you all….whether you’re celebrating in The Gnome Abode, in a hollowed out tree, or in a fictional porn shop.

xoxo,
The Quick Brown Fox, The Gnome

As The Gnome Abode’s librarian, I always have my eye out for new (gnew) gnome literature. This past weekend, I started reading a delightful book called The Gnomes of Knot-Hole Manor by Adele Marie Crouch.

I started reading this in the bubble bath last night and got about halfway done! The best part so far is that there is a gnome character named Zookwinkle! All this time, I thought our guy was the only Zookwinkle in the universe because that’s what he told us.

BUSTED!!!

So far the Zookwinkle in the book seems like an alright guy though….a kid really. Helped save a squirrel, obeys his parents, all that good stuff. He has been taught to be weary of human (rightfully so), to take care of nature, and do his chores.

Our Zookwinkle here doesn’t have a fraction of those good morals!

The Internet tells me Adele’s book has been translated into a whole bunch of languages – French, Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, Hindi – WOW! There are gnomes and humans reading about Character Zookwinkle and his family all over the place! I love foreigners!

The Internet also tells me that “Creations by Crouch is making an attempt to produce bilingual books that will not only assist people in learning the language of their choice, but also to preserve (in some small way) languages that are in danger of becoming extinct. With that in mind, Adele is always on the lookout for translators of new and endangered languages.”

Because Adele has targeted this book at 3rd graders, even you dumb gnomes out there can pick this up! Dumb gnomes need lovin’ too!

Yours in gnomish literacy,
The Quick Brown Fox

We gnomes are all a lil’ tuckered out from recent travels and are in serious need of some chill time. Therefore, I am hosting the first monthly book club gathering at The Abode. Tonight!

TONIGHT’S NOVEL: The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne

WHEN TO SHOW UP: 7:28pm CST

WHAT TO BRING: Your Kindle, your literary brilliance, your sense of adventure, and your drinkin’ pants

WHAT TO WEAR: Tattered attire and soiled hats

WHAT WE’LL DRINK:  Shipwrecked Cocktails
(3 oz Dr. Pepper, 1 oz Kracken Spiced Rum, 1 oz Jack Daniels Whiskey, 1/2 oz Cinnamon Schnapps)

No RSVP necessary. See ya guys in a few!
The Quick Brown Fox, The Gnome