Bluegrass Gnome Band in Boulder!

 

Well hey there. Just your favorite Amish Meth Lab musician here with a breaking news update!

nomadA band of bluegrass gnomes is playing in Boulder, Colorado tomorrow. They’re great friends of ours and call themselves The Gnome Addicts. It’s a wonder how more of you out there reading there aren’t gnome addicts yourselves.

Or maybe you are. Are you addicted to us?

Anyhoo, if you’re in the Boulder area or if you are really into bluegrass and don’t mind a long commute, go check ’em out tomorrow! By buying a ticket, you’re helping restore the Nomad Theater because all ticket proceeds go towards the restoration. Pretty rad, eh?

Show starts at 6:30….see ya there!

Banjos 4 life,
McCartney The Gnome and Amish Meth Lab founder

See! The Travelocity Gnome is a Good Dude After All (so stop yo’ hatin’)

The Travelocity Roaming Gnome Donates Great Gnome Nabbing Stakeout Car to Texans Can Academies’ Cars For Kids Charity Auction

DALLAS, March 26, 2013 /PRNewswire/ — Texans Can Academies , a nonprofit charter high school organization serving at-risk youth, recently accepted the 1987 Chevrolet Caprice Classic automobile used by the Travelocity Roaming Gnome as his stakeout car in the Great Gnome Nabbing campaign.  The stakeout car was driven by the Roaming Gnome through Dallas and New York City on the lookout for travelers to choose as the winner for an around the world trip.TEXANS CAN ACADEMIES MENDIS TRAVELOCITY MARQUEZ CHEVROLET CAPRICE CLASSIC

Since returning to Texas, the Roaming Gnome’s car has been vacationing at Travelocity headquarters in Southlake.  Company leaders decided to continue the car’s mission of good works by donating it to Dallas-based non-profit charity auction group, Cars for Kids.

Cars for Kids is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization benefiting Texans Can Academies and is the only car donation program in Texas that is operated by the charity it serves. For more information, visit: http://www.texanscan.org or http://www.carsforkids.org.

The proceeds from the weekly auctions support more than 7,000 students at the ten Texans Can Academies working to earn their high school diplomas. The nonprofit believes helping these students receive a strong education is critical to breaking the cycle of inter-generational poverty and illiteracy.

Just sharing the love,
Kamikaze The Gnome

Photo credit: TEXANS CAN ACADEMIES

Gnome Smashing: Not Would Jesus Would Want For Easter

Originally posted Monday, March 18, 2013
Gloucestershire Echo – By MICHAEL PURTON

“A dozen garden gnomes were stolen and smashed to pieces in a bizarre incident in Cheltenham during race week.

Bernard and Cath Bond were upset when they woke up to discover that a dozen of their cherished gnomes and ornaments had been stolen from their front garden in Unwin Road, The Reddings, overnight last Thursday.

And the retired couple were reeling from the shock when a neighbour came to tell them that the gnomes and ornaments had been found smashed to pieces in a nearby alleyway.

Among the broken characters was a gnome which had belonged to Bernard’s late brother Trevor, who died in 2007.

Only its head was still intact, left lying among the shattered pieces of its former fellow garden dwellers.

“It looks like someone has taken them from the front garden and taken them down between some garages near the brook and smashed the lot,” 67-year-old Bernard said.

Grandfather Bernard, a retired bus driver, said other neighbours had had garden ornaments stolen in the past couple of days, and he believes there could be someone with a grudge against gnomes targeting them in the area.

‘How people can do something like this, I don’t know. It’s absolutely disgusting,’ he said.

‘The oldest gnome was about 15 years old.'”

 

I don’t have the slightest idea what “Easter spirit” is, but I do know this sure as hell ain’t it. As a gnome who was recently broken in a tragic accident, let me tell you…..we DO feel each broken piece of ceramic and we DO hate you for messing with us.

How would you like it if we ganged up and “conveniently” dropped ourselves on your toe? How whack would you look (and walk) with one less toe than you currently have?!

Help us bring these blast Brits to justice. If you have any information on these (or any other) despicable gnome smashers, write to us at [email protected]. We’ll get to the bottom of this disgrace and break their sorry faces off.

Love and hugs!
Alfredo The (recovering, and doing pretty dang well) Gnome

All Hail the Gnome Ranger!

“The tale of how seven gnomes came to live at Wolverley’s Bodenham Arboretum has been made into a book to raise funds for Children in Need.
The BodenGnomes, written by Davy Turner, the BodenGnome Ranger, will be launched at the arboretum on Easter Monday – April 1 – and will be on sale throughout this year’s BodenGnome Gnome Hunt.
RangerMr Turner, 59, who works at the arboretum, said: “The book is an original history of where they came from, how they came to the arboretum and why they are called the BodenGnomes.

It will be the third year the gnome hunt has been held at the arboretum in Wolverley. Visitors are given clues to the location of the woodland creatures, each of which carries a letter that, together, spell the name of a place.

Mr Turner added: “It just kicked off as a Children in Need thing but families loved them. About 250 people did the hunt last year.”
A percentage of sales of the book, which contains photographs taken around the arboretum, will be donated to Children in Need.

If it proves successful, Mr Turner plans to write other stories of the BodenGnomes’ adventures.
The hunt itself does not restart until the summer but some of the gnomes will be at the book launch.
Mr. Turner added: “There will be a couple of gnomes hiding that day. I’ll be there as the Gnome Ranger too.”

 

***We never thought we really needed to be “ranged,” but Turner sounds like an alright dude. RANGE AWAY!

Sincerely,
Leonardo The Gnome

Yes, Travelocity Gnome….We WILL “Go and Smell the Roses”

 

Hey Phillip Butler from Argophilia – – we gnomes have NOT gone to far. I repeat, NOT.

Smell rosesYou say you hate the Travelocity gnome? WELL, WE HATE YOU! So there. Heh.

An article was published today in this Eastern European news magazine, alleging that the Travelocity gnome is making people feel crappy about being broke.

You think the Travelocity gnome is being insensitive to people who can’t afford to see the running of the bulls in Spain? Well you’d better get your panties out of a wad and MAN UP.

Seriously people…check this out and tell me if you are really that offended – http://youtu.be/TkvLRVGPc4k – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkvLRVGPc4k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkvLRVGPc4k&feature=player_detailpage#t=0s

According to the PRNewswire release, Chief Marketing Officer for Travelocity America Bradley Wilson offered this:

“‘Go & Smell the Roses’ is more than a tagline in an advertising campaign, it’s a rally cry. With this new campaign we are using our most powerful asset, the iconic Roaming Gnome, to inspire and instigate people to get off the couch, to go and smell the roses.”

That’s right, Bradley….we’re behind you 100%. Despite his British accent, the Travelocity gnome isn’t some elitist prick. You don’t have to do expensive crap to hang out with gnomes. Gnomes like the cheap seats too. We’re tired of being misunderstood.

Fuming and flaming,
Alfredo The Gnome

Photo credit: Phil Butler and © Marion Wear – Fotolia.com