Queen of England Receives Gnome (and bunch of worthless jewelry)

queen

“Every item on an official list of gifts given to members of the Royal family last year provides a fascinating insight into how various dignitaries, companies and members of the public have tried to solve the issue of what to give someone who wants for nothing – often with hilarious consequences.” – The Telegraph

royal gnomesNot surprisingly, one of the Queen’s gifts this year was a GNOME. In less interesting news, she also received:

  • a knitted hat with horse ears
  • a plastic angel
  • a book titled Your Arms Remind Me of Pork Luncheon Meat
  • a 5-strand pearl necklace
  • 4 enameled scarab beetles
  • a diamond and tourmaline brooch

According to chief reporter, Gordon Rayner, “Official gifts to members of the Royal family are not their private property, but are held by them on behalf of the Queen. They can be consumed, used or displayed by the Royal family, loaned to galleries or, in the case of gifts worth less than £150, given to charity if they are not likely to be used.”

Hey, Royal Gnome. Hey buddy! Are you being consumed, displayed, loaned, or hanging out in a charity these days? What does the Queen really DO all day? We’re dying to know – write us back, please 🙂

Thinking of you,
Tabitha, Queen of the Gnomes

International update: Australians Painting Gnomes for Charity

It’s time for the Bega Show garden gnome painting competition! Local celebrities in the area are painting gnomes for charity, which will be auctioned off for big gnome bucks.

gnome1

This writer dude, Ben Smythe, started off with a red hat – good call, buddy. “After that it was bit of a mish-mash of colours, styles and fashions – and a rather sun-blemished skin tone – so perhaps not so far from my own personality as I would normally admit,” he said.

The chamber of commerce president and a portrait award finalist are also celebrity gnome painters, churning and burning killer gnome designs. For now, the gnomes of Mayor Bill Taylor, entertainer Frankie J Holden and River Cottage Australia host Paul West remain a mystery. Bega Show chief pavilion steward Barb Rogers is remaining tight-lipped on that front, so curious gnome aficionados will have to wait until show day for the reveal!

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Local charities like the Rural Fire Service will be collecting in on those charity funds and gnome-related social media scene is BLOWING UP!

Gnome painting seems to be the NEXT BIG THING in charitable giving these days. Do a good deed. Paint a gnome this weekend and watch the good karma roll right in!

Tootaloo,
EvanGelical the Gnome

Did you Know Philip Seymour Hoffman Once Played a Gnome?

We like to read a lot of news over there at The Drunk Gnome, and we can’t help but notice all the articles floating around about the death of human actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman. It’s a bummer, really it is. But none of him knew the dude personally, so that’s about all we had to say on the matter.

authors voiceUntil…

We discovered that he once played the role of a gnome.

I came across James Urbaniak’s Slate article, “What I Learned from Losing a Role to Philip Seymour Hoffman“, the other day. Apparently James read for a role of Gene the Gnome in Richard Greenburg’s 1999 The Author’s Voice. 

According to James, this was “a one-act Cyrano pastiche about a young playwright, his female editor, and the “horribly twisted gnome” who lives in his closet and ghostwrites his plays.”

Horribly twisted gnome? Yeah, we can get on board with that.

James said, “Gene the Gnome seemed a natural for me; I prided myself on having a corner on weirdo intellectual outcasts.” However, James didn’t get the role, Hoffman did.

Has anyone out there seen The Author’s Voice? We’re gonna have to seek out this play for the sole reason of seeing this great actor play a gnome. Even if he isn’t intending to depict a true gnome in the literal sense. Whatever, we’ll take it because it simply sounds badass.

R.I.P. dude,
Harrison the Gnome

Naked Chick Poses with Gnomes…WHAT?!?

Gnome news generally revolves around gnomes getting stolen or celebrities painting gnomes for charity. However, yesterday we came across some gnome news that REALLY took us by surprise.

She goes by the name Aella, and she poses nude for Internet. Okay, nothing really all that shocking there.

But here’s the twist….she poses NUDE WITH GNOMES.

aella gnomes

Web forum, Reddit, has a subgroup called “gw” with plenty of ladies looking to strut their stuff for strangers. To stand out from the crowd, Aella’s gimmick is to pose nude while being ASSAULTED* by evil garden gnomes.

*Disclaimer – gnome assault is an unfounded myth. No actual gnome assaults have been reported in the history of gnomekind.

Viewers fell in love with her gnome gimmick and she was actually the forum’s most popular naked woman in 2013. The forum has over 500,000 members.

aella gnomes 2

“People are so used to watching girls take themselves seriously when it comes to sexuality,” she told The Daily Dot. “I don’t care about looking pretty. I care about making people laugh. People need to realize you’re a human being.”

According to Inquisitr, she grew up in a super-Christian household, and this appears to be a really unique form of rebellion. And apparently, she makes more money doing this than if she went to college and worked a regular job for 10 years.

Are you intrigued? Because we certainly are! We just started stalking her on Twitter, so this should be interesting…

xoxo,
Roxy the Gnome

Cobargo Gnomes Get Their Own Field Guide!

We literate gnomes just came across “A Field Guide to Cobargo Gnomes.” Wow this town has enough of us to warrant  a FIELD GUIDE?!

Shared from Australia’s Bega District News – –

COBARGO“CHILDREN’S illustrator Naomi Lewis’s new book with its little subjects is proving a big hit.

A Field Guide to Cobargo Gnomes (and other local wee critters) was launched recently and already Ms Lewis said she is considering a second print run.

“I’m running out of copies already – I’m really pleased everyone likes it,” she said.

Gnomes have become a popular curiousity in Cobargo, ever since they joined the world-wide Occupy movement in 2011.

The collection of protestors remain on “Gnome-man’s Land” – the vacant block of land in the town’s main street.

“They come and go – people add to them all the time,” Ms Lewis said.

Meanwhile, Ms Lewis said “maturity and common sense seem to have failed me despite advancing years” and from her bush block at Yowrie she continues to seek out, research and document the wee folk and mythical creatures of the local area.

“It’s just a lot of fun,” she said.

“I’ve always been interested in myths and folklore.

“Some years ago I had an exhibition of my illustrations of mythical creatures and I created stories to go with each one.”

Those quirky creations and their individual stories have been collected in A Field Guide to Cobargo Gnomes.

The book is proving popular, but if you’re lucky you may spot a copy at Well Thumbed Books and the Lazy Lizard Gallery in Cobargo, and Candelo Books in Bega.

An exhibition of Ms Lewis’s Cobargo Gnomes illustrations is on display at Lazy Lizard Gallery until the end of January.”

If you happen to be wandering around New South Wales in the next couple weeks, check out her Facebook page for directions to the exhibit. Sigh….wish I could make it!

xoxo,
The Quick Brown Fox the gnome