G’day mateys!

Your resident travel gnome, Zookwinkle, here. I am pleased to inform you that I ONCE AGAIN have been invited on a journey! But this isn’t just any journey….this is a tropical and magical journey of magnificent proportions!

Believe it or not, I am currently on a flight to Costa Rica! We gnomes recently figured out how to schedule advance blog posts. Aint’ we smart?

My first stop is San Jose, where I will wander around the city trying to speak Spanish and find someplace to sleep and something alcoholic to drink. From there, I plan to grab a bus (gnomes aren’t allowed to rent cars internationally) to the Arenal Volcano area and La Fortuna. My first zip lining adventure is just days away! I also expect to see a good amount of monkeys and potentially bring one back home.

With my new adopted monkey, I will then board another bus to the western coastline for some much-needed beach time. Have you seen how pasty my skin is lately? Don’t worry, my SPF 180 is packed and ready for action!

I fully intend to soak in some hot springs, hike the through the jungles, and be drunk the entire way.

If any of you Costa Rican gnomes are reading this, HOLA! Me llamo Zookwinkle! Let me stay-o in your house-o for free-o?

My sources tell me that the South American interweb connections are sketchy for traveling gnomes like me, but I’ll send updates as much as gnomishly possible!

Have fun freezing your asses off suckas! I’m bound for 95-degrees and sunshine!

Woot!
Zookwinkle the Travel Gnome

You may not have been aware of this before, but I am The Gnome Abode’s resident car nut. I recently hitch hiked to the National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

Check out the pics I made strangers take of me with these badass cars! What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on one of these to bring back home…

I always thought I’d look great in a red Vette.

I’m also a sucker for retro models.Who wants to help me set up a fundraising campaign to get us gnomes our very own sports car? Who’s with me? Who? Anyone? C’mon gnomies!

Vrrrrooommmm,
Cowabunga “the wannabe race car driver” Gnome

Tired of hearing about how amazing we gnomes are? Well you have less than ONE MONTH LEFT to hunt us!

The Morton Arboretum in Lisle, Illinois continues to offer a Gnome Hunt in their childrens’ garden through the end of February. They present us all with the seemingly impossible challenge,

Can you find all of the gnomes hiding in the Children’s Garden?

Directions are presented at the entrance of the garden to advise how many gnomes to look for, where to look, etc.

As vocal gnome activists, we fear for the lives of our brethren in Lisle, Illinois. We have reached a general consensus that we will storm the gates of the arboretum and rescue as many gnomes as possible before they are hunted by people LIKE YOU.

Who KNOWS what you’ll do with us if you are successful in your hunting endeavors!? We don’t trust you. Hunt away! We’re not scared! You’re no match for our wit and hiding abilities!

Armed n’ ready,
Starr The Gnome

There’s been a buzz around The Gnome Abode. A trip to Costa Rice is in the works!

Who the hell am I, you ask? First of all, watch your *&@$*@& language. Second of all, I’m Spechelle…..a special kind of Michelle.

I don’t do this blog much and you probably haven’t seen much of me around. Sucks for you. But I thought this was a good enough reason. So listen up foo’s….this here’s my petition to tag along on this Costa Rica trip. And here’s why.

I can climb trees. Even though I’m not a dude. And even though I’m not white.

I’m small and won’t take up much room. No shorty jokes allowed.

I’m already tan so I won’t burn in the sun.

I can totally get along with creatures, especially monkeys….which I hear there are plenty of in C.R.

Besides, ya’ll need my planning skills for this trip too. It’s like two weeks away and your dumb asses don’t even have hotel or activity reservations. There’s chatter about potential zip lining, eco guide tours, caving, canyoneering, and hot springs. But ya need to pull it together or those tropical natives are gonna eat you alive.

Did I mention I can climb trees?

I don’t see any other gnomes’ petitions floating around yet, so I should get bonus consideration just for blazing the trail.

Text me, take me, I’m yours….
Spechelle The Gnome