About Spechelle The Gnome

Gnomes Head to Jamaica for Lunch

It’s a little after 2pm on a Thursday afternoon. Where did you go for lunch?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe 9-5 gnomes running around here tend to stuff a turkey and cheese sandwich and a banana into a mini-cooler and schlep it over their shoulder on the way to the train. They shove said sandwich and fruit into their mouths while frantically typing on a glowing box with buttons without missing a beat. Meanwhile, gnomes become disgruntled. Meanwhile, said box becomes utterly disgusting.

Here at The Gnome Abode, we have started a new initiative. It’s called DON’T EAT OVER YOUR COMPUTER, YOU IDIOT!

Here’s how it works:

  1. Step away from computer 
  2. Find food
  3. Eat food
  4. Go back to computer

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERATo commemorate day #1 of this new initiative, we went to Jamaica. I’ll try to make you believe this was REAL Jamaica, but it actually was in Texas….just a short drive from the San Antonio airport.

I stumbled (laptop free) into this little hole-in-the-wall called Jamaica Jamaica. Yes, clever name….I know. There were lots of military humans eating inside because I guess there’s a base nearby and they get a discount.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThey played an awesome mix of old and new reggae music and the place had a super-friendly vibe, thanks to all the comments written directly on the wall with marker. We wrote a little something ourselves 🙂

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe food knocked my socks off. As an 84% vegetarian, I choose the spiced tofu with rice & beans and plantains. I snapped a pic of my buddy Zookwinkle here next to it! I’d eat that stuff every day if some Jamaican dude served it up to me.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMy only complaint is the lack of booze. However, there was huge sign posted about them getting a liquor license soon. Guess I’ll have to come back!

Although we didn’t have to take a boat to get there, Jamaica Jamaica is well worth a detour the size of Texas. I’m looking forward to see where our gnomes travel to next for anti-computer lunch!

Spechelle your favorite lady gnome

Hot off the press! International Gnome Club Newsletter – Issue 2-2013

Wait no more!

The moment you’ve been waiting for all your life has arrived!

Issue 2-2013 of the International Gnome Newsletter has arrived!!!


richOne particularly interesting thing I learned about from the newsletter is Gnome Countryside in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. This guy Rich, who goes by “The Gnomeman,” talks about diabetes, meditation, and gnomes in this interview.


Who would have ever put those three things together? This guy….right here.

gnome countryside_img_0568Dude says he hasn’t ever actually seen a gnome, which seems a little hypocritical in my professional opinion. But regardless, it looks like he has a pretty sweet gig going on over in Amish country. I’ve officially added Gnome Countryside to my travel to-do list.

Wanna stay on top of all the latest gnome news and tip-offs like The Gnomeman’s little wilderness retreat? Join the International Gnome Club and find your sense of self-worth again!

Spechelle the Gnome

*Photo credit: Susquehanna Style

Gnomes Reach Out to Extended Family with “Garden Fun”

Top o’ the mornin’, gnomies!

Just like you humans, we gnomes have mothers. This female life source tends to offer advice and recommendations, even when our step slows down and out beards turn gray. Sometimes, we brush off our moms’ words as being just plain silly. But other times, mommas offer seriously legit advice.

I received an email forward today from my gnome momma today. The email included a link to a website, Garden Fun. When you take a look at this page, you might first think that these gnomes are for sale.


Sites like this are actually social media resources for us gnomes. They let us locate and communicate directly with our distant cousins via the Interweb. While we may no longer have the addresses or phone numbers for our relatives, sites like Garden Fun let us “online stalk” our kinda-sorta-loved ones and track them down (whether they want to be or not).

Do you want to eat some good tacos with your Mexican great-uncle, El Gnombre?


Want to ask out that girl you met in the bar, Marilyn Monroe the Gnome?


Pick up some latkes from cousin, Shalon Gnome?


Or arrange a hunting trip with the Butch Huntress Gnome, your long lost sister-in-law?


So don’t feel bad for the gnomes listed on Garden Fun. They’re not for sale and they’re not being held captive against their will. Thanks to sites like this, we can chat and meet up with all of the aforementioned extended family…. and many others we’d tried to forget about for so long.

Have a most splendid day!
Spechelle The Gnome

A Gnome Named Larry in Philly

POSTED: Sunday, March 3, 2013, 1:10 PM
Virginia A. Smith, Inquirer Staff Writer

“Larry’s a new product from Chive, the hipster purveyor of floral vessels and accoutrements from Toronto. This year, they have twice the floor space they’ve had in previous years. Larry comes in several colors and he isn’t a vase. He is, in the words of junior sales rep Noel Greaves, “a little guy watching over your kitchen or bathroom.” But he’s sold ($15 for one, $25 for two) as a lawn gnome. Do what you want.

Noel says Larry was created just for the show. Chive uses the flower show as a test market for its products. And this is the only show the company does. So Philly folks, feel proud.

You know, of course, that the Brits are nutty for gnomes, so you’d be within your comfort zone as a flower show-goer this year – the show being Brilliant! and all – to buy a few. Me, I’ll admire on the shelf.”

So I went to the Chive website just to see if they actually were hiding any of these lil’ buggas that were in need of rescue. Blast! Not a damn one! I hope they find their way over to the The Gnome Abode from England and Philly. I just have a hunch they’d be happier with us.

Spechelle The Gnome

Hooray! California Gnomes are Safe!!!


oaktowngnomesWhew. What a freaking sigh of relief. Big thanks to our gnome scout BC for keeping us up to date on recent gnomish activism.

According to the Benjamin Sutton of, artinfo.com,

Despite widespread worries that the mysterious Oakland street art gnomes’ days were numbered after Pacific Gas & Electric — to whose utility poles many of the mini-murals have been affixed — threatened to remove hundreds of them, NoCal gnome fans may now breathe a sigh of relief, as the energy company has opted against the mass gnomicide, the San Francisco Chronicle reports.

“We received a great deal of public feedback, so we’re declaring the poles gnome-man’s land. We’re not going to remove them,” Jason King, a spokesperson for PG&E told the Chronicle. “We’re committed to working with the artist, the city and the community to find a peaceful resolution.”

Though the identity of the gnome-painter remains a mystery, he or she sent PG&E an email pleading for leniency in the Lilliputian figures’ treatment. “I’m a resident of Oakland who simply thought this would be a nice way to make my fellow Oaklanders happy and proud,” he or she wrote. “We see too much garbage on the streets here, too many shootings, too much violence, not enough that makes one stop and smile. … They were meant to be an ongoing gift to my community.”

The artist also contacted Oakland City Hall, which convened an emergency meeting with PG&E. “We are holding peace talks in a secret mushroom patch near the Rose Garden,” City Councilwoman Lynette McElhaney’s chief of staff Zac Wald told the Chronicle. “People love the gnomes, and they are District Three residents.”

Let us rejoice with really large mugs of beer!

Spechelle The Gnome