Gnomes Headed to Costa Rica!!!!!!!!!!!

 

G’day mateys!

280px-ArenallongYour resident travel gnome, Zookwinkle, here. I am pleased to inform you that I ONCE AGAIN have been invited on a journey! But this isn’t just any journey….this is a tropical and magical journey of magnificent proportions!

San_JoseBelieve it or not, I am currently on a flight to Costa Rica! We gnomes recently figured out how to schedule advance blog posts. Aint’ we smart?

My first stop is San Jose, where I will wander around the city trying to speak Spanish and find someplace to sleep and something alcoholic to drink. From there, I plan to grab a bus (gnomes aren’t allowed to rent cars internationally) to the Arenal Volcano area and La Fortuna. My first zip lining adventure is just days away! I also expect to see a good amount of monkeys and potentially bring one back home.

beachWith my new adopted monkey, I will then board another bus to the western coastline for some much-needed beach time. Have you seen how pasty my skin is lately? Don’t worry, my SPF 180 is packed and ready for action!

I fully intend to soak in some hot springs, hike the through the jungles, and be drunk the entire way.

Zip 1If any of you Costa Rican gnomes are reading this, HOLA! Me llamo Zookwinkle! Let me stay-o in your house-o for free-o?

My sources tell me that the South American interweb connections are sketchy for traveling gnomes like me, but I’ll send updates as much as gnomishly possible!

Have fun freezing your asses off suckas! I’m bound for 95-degrees and sunshine!

Woot!
Zookwinkle the Travel Gnome

Gnoming Around the Corvette Museum

 

You may not have been aware of this before, but I am The Gnome Abode’s resident car nut. I recently hitch hiked to the National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

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WELCOME LETTER
Since 1953 the Corvette has been America’s Sports Car. The National Corvette Museum was established as a 501(c)3 not-for-profit foundation with a mission of celebrating the invention of the Corvette; preserving its past, present and future; and educating the public about Corvette.

Corvette enthusiasts from all over the world kindly and lovingly refer to the NCM as their home … Their Mecca.

We welcome you to our Corvette world on the Internet. Our website will give you some feeling of visiting the Museum, but just as exhibits and displays change within the Museum, you will continuously see enhancements to our website. We will strive to become the resource center that Corvette enthusiasts world-wide want and deserve. We invite you to visit and revisit our website often.

We especially invite you to visit us in person (in Bowling Green, KY) and experience first hand the passion and the excitement of America’s Sports Car, the Chevrolet Corvette.The GM Bowling Green Corvette Assembly Plant, the only place in the world where Corvettes are made, is located across the street from the National Corvette Musuem at I-65, exit 28.

Again, welcome to the National Corvette Museum website and thanks for the visit.

Wendell K. Strode
Executive Director

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Check out the pics I made strangers take of me with these badass cars! What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on one of these to bring back home…

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I always thought I’d look great in a red Vette.

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I’m also a sucker for retro models.Who wants to help me set up a fundraising campaign to get us gnomes our very own sports car? Who’s with me? Who? Anyone? C’mon gnomies!

Vrrrrooommmm,
Cowabunga “the wannabe race car driver” Gnome

Join Us TODAY For a Gnomish Spiritual Awakening!

 

Listen up, my fellow gnomes. Your spiritual leader is speaking to you in an ominous voice.

Today is the day you’ve been waiting your whole lives for. A gnomish spiritual awakening is just around the corner and YOU are invited!

There are just a few things to keep in mind as you journey from a meaningless petty existence to a transcendent and enlightened state of peace and beauty…

  • church
  • All gnomes are welcome and accepted at the awakening. If you don’t like someone next to you, keep it to yourself because I don’t care.
  • This is not (I REPEAT, NOT) a spin off of any human religion. Those are dumb. This is the real deal.
  • No chewing gum during the awakening. It annoys me greatly.
  • When the Gnomish Lord and Savior tells you to drink a beer, drink a beer. No questions asked.

So alright! With those strict rules and regulations out of the way, let’s get this party started! Here’s the details:

  • WHO: You! That’s why you’re reading this. Dur dur dur.
  • WHAT: The very first gnomish spiritual awakening ceremony.
  • WHEN: Today at 3:00pm
  • WHERE: The Gnome Abode (newly redesigned) Temple. Google map it.
  • WHY: Because there is more to life than mindlessly going about your daily routines and you deserve to find purpose deep within your pointy hat.

I look forwarding to bringing you one step closer to a better version of you! See you at 3!

Your gnomish spiritual leader,
EvanGelical The Gnome

EXCLUSIVE Gnome Facebook Photos! LIKE US!

 

All of us chipped in and recently got ourselves a fancy new iPhone. We all have to share it, but that’s okay because it’s hard for us to push those big touch screen “buttons” all alone  anyway! phone

In addition to providing all you gnome fans with a daily (almost always!) post about our shenanigans, we are now ALSO posting random pics of each other on Facebook!

They’re super fun, sometimes scandalous, and usually drunk 😉

But these are FACEBOOK EXCLUSIVES and found NOWHERE else on the Interwebs!

To get a sneak peak into the behind-the-scenes shenanigans, you have GOT to LIKE us on Facebook! It’s so easy a troll could do it!

Just go to our Facebook page and click “like”. And SHAZAAM! A daily picture of one of us will start to appear in your news feed!

Because after all…don’t you need a little more gnome in your day?

xoxo,
ChumbaWamba The Gnome

Pour Me Another Rum and Diet!

 

IMAG0505According to Samir Vermani, M.D., of the ABC News medical unit, we can get more drunk by using diet soda as a mixer!

COOL! SIGN ME UP!

“Cutting calories with diet soda may seem like a good idea — as long as it’s not at a bar.

A new study released in the journal Alcoholism suggests that cutting alcoholic drinks with diet soda makes them more potent than using their full-calorie counterparts. Specifically, researchers found that mixing alcohol with diet (sugar-free) soft drinks resulted in a higher breath alcohol content than mixing alcohol with a regular (sugar-sweetened) soft drink.

“The results were surprising,” said Cecile A. Marczinski, assistant professor in the department of psychological science at Northern Kentucky University, and one of the lead investigators of the study.

IMG_1037Researchers served one of three beverages: vodka added to a diet drink, vodka added to a regular drink or a regular soft drink with a vodka scent added so that participants would believe it was an alcoholic beverage. They then sat back while the subjects enjoyed their cocktails.

Those participants drinking the vodka-diet drink cocktails had a significantly higher breath alcohol content and had the highest degree of behavioral impairment among the groups, the study found.

“We are talking about significant differences here,” Marczinski said. “Participants who drank diet soda with vodka had blood alcohol contents as high as 18 percent more than when sugar-containing mixers were used.”

IMG_8124The theory behind this is that sugar-containing drinks stimulate the stomach much like a meal does. Having some food in your stomach delays stomach emptying, thus delaying absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. The result is that drinkers get a less-potent hit of alcohol in their systems after drinking.

“This is why southern European countries have lower rates of alcoholism despite their increased alcohol intake,” said Petros Levounis, director of the Addiction Institute of New York, who was not involved in the study. “They always drink while eating.”

Diet beverages, since they contain no sugar, do not trigger the stomach to delay emptying, allowing alcohol to reach the bloodstream more quickly.

“The choice of what you mix your alcohol with can make a difference,” Marczinski said, adding that there may even be potentially harmful consequences for those who regularly request a diet soda with their spirits.

IMG_7076“In the long run, it’s more harmful for your body to be exposed to a higher alcohol concentration than a few extra calories,” she said.

But not all alcohol experts agree that going diet with your cocktails is all that different. Boris Tabakoff, a professor of pharmacology at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, pointed to the fact that study subjects drank the equivalent of three to four drinks over a five-minute period.

“Few if any bars will serve you a drink that strong,” he said. “If you want to chug your alcohol to the point of consuming the equivalent of three to four drinks in five minutes, you should not worry about calories.”

Tabakoff further pointed out that calorie-conscious drinkers might do better simply to limit their alcohol intake, noting that alcohol, too, is packed with calories.”

Copyright © 2013 ABC News Internet Ventures

I may be a doctor, but first and foremost, I am a drunk gnome.

Yours in drunk health,
Dr. A. Chu, M.D., The Gnome