Gnomes and Rental Cars: An Interview


Who knew that gnomes could be accessed by rental car?!

Although this Hertz travel article seems to have been written with humans in mind, it has provoked an interesting question around The Gnome Abode. Are gnomes legally allowed to drive cars?

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To settle the debate, we asked our one and only driving gnome, Gnouffeur. Here’s how the interview went…

Me: Good morning, Gnouffeur.

Gnouffeur: G’day, Mate!

Me: A-hem. So down to business. What makes you so qualified to drive a car?

Gnouffeur: It’s a truck actually.

Me: Okay, fine. Truck. What makes you qualified to drive a truck?

Gnouffeur: I was born with it.

Me: You were born WITH a truck? 

Gnouffeur: Yessir. It was molded to my hand and arse since I was a twinkle in me momma’s womb.

Me: Ew. That’s weird. Moving on….what sort of driving training have you received during your time at The Gnome Abode?

Gnouffeur: I once hauled a penguin.

Me: That’s not exactly training, now is it? Can I see a copy of your driver’s license?

Gnouffeur: Hold on….let me grab some my laminating machine. I drew a picture of me hauling that penguin the other day in my sketchbook. Everything looks more official when it’s laminated. 

Me: A-hem. That won’t be necessary. This is clearly going nowhere. Well, do you have any last words, Gnouffeur?

Gnouffeur: Rice and beans.

Me: (to the camera) Well, you read it here first, folks. The only gnome “qualified” to drive us around is a blooming idiot. Penguins…rice and beans…laminating machine. Gah! I wish you all the best in your transportation endeavors…because you’re surely going to need it.

Reporting live from the living room,
SpeakNoGnome, the Reporter Gnome