Monthly Archives: August 2013

Scooter Dude Schools Us About German Gnomes

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Greetings gnome news followers!

It’s not every day that we learn something from a dude on a scooter. Apparently this guy, Michael Wigge, is scootering around Germany and teaching the world things along the way.

ScooterDude

 

Seriously, people. You HAVE to see this to believe it.

This is what we learned today from scooter dude:

  1. There are over 25,000 gnomes in Germany (we have no idea how that number was calculated and we won’t ask if you don’t).
  2. More than half of Germans don’t think of gnomes as mere ornaments. Thank you. At least someone understands us.
  3. Gräfenroda is the birthplace of the mass produced gnome. Mass production! Hooray!
  4. Scooters never look cool, no matter what.
  5. There’s a gnome museum in Thuringia. OMG travel list updated!

GermanyMuseumA gnome’s day is never complete unless a super important thing has been learned. Thanks scooter dude. We’ll take back our comment about scooters not being cool. At least to your face.

Tootaloo!
DoorsOpenOnTheLeftAtClarkAndLake the Gnome

 

Bigger is Better…for Gnomes in Wisconsin

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Perhaps your read our post about a big ass gnome Iowa. Or maybe you heard about other big ass gnomes in New York and Vancouver from us.

Well in the spirit of “bigger is better,” the great (?) state of Wisconsin jumps on the big ass gnome bandwagon with a pointy hatted fellow made of wood.

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There’s a logger dude named Nick Uecker in Door County, Wisconsin who has become our new hero. This guy teamed up with a Michigan chain saw sculptor, James Denkins, with a mission of turning a 58-inch diameter log into a gnome.

This gnome is standing a whopping 21 feet and 6 inches high, which blows the American competition out of the garden. The guys just finished painting it at the end of June and it was going for a Guinness Book Record for the world’s largest wooden gnome. Unfortunately, that dumb book doesn’t distinguish between types of gnomes or gnome material.

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That Vancouver Island gas station bugga made of scrap metal is 25 feet and 11 inches tall. Whomp whomp.

Regardless, I smell another road trip coming up!

Apparently, there’s gonna be a “name the gnome” contest soon. Any ideas?

Photo credit: Door County Advocate

Just When You Thought You’d Seen It All: A Gnome Bikini

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Dear gnomes and other species of gnome fans,

It might be the middle of August, but there is still plenty of time to hit the beach this summer. In case you need a little beach-style inspiration, I now present you with…

THE GNOME BIKINI!

gnomebikiniPleasant looking models can even make gnomes look sexy. Am I wrong? AM I?!

I’ll leave you with that to ponder on for the rest of your day.

Tootaloo,
Cowabunga the Gnome

Super Crazy Exciting Gnome Festival Alert!

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Alright gnomes,

I need a headcount for who’s coming with me to Strausburg in a couple weeks.

Would you believe that this town has a section for “Gnome News” on it’s webpage?!

photoThe undisclosed source that shared this newspaper clipping with me was also kind enough to note an upcoming cheese festival that weekend also. GNOMES AND CHEESE? How can you go wrong.

Okay. Anyway. Headcount gnomes, headcount. Text me within the hour. Thanks. Bye.

May the sauce be with you,
Alfredo the Gnome

 

Another reason to hate cats

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Greetings gnomeites,

Need yet another reason to hate cats? Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWuIGAZ1x2I

It’s a commonly known fact that gnomes and cats don’t get along. But like all commonly known facts, there are exceptions to the rule.

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But these exceptions are few and far between. So keep hatred alive.

Love,
Leonardo the Gnome

PS – gnome poop looks nothing like cat poop.