Monthly Archives: November 2013

A Shout Out to All Gnome Veterans

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Gnomes tend to be lovers, not fighters. But sometimes, we are called on to defend ourselves and the liberties of all gnomekind. We may be small, but we know how to kick you in the shin and give you a hearty dose of name-calling.

So here’s a shout out to all gnome veterans who have proudly served The Gnome Abode in times of peace, war, and drunken stupors.

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These brave dude and lady gnomes have carried heavy ceramic guns, even when their weary, miniature arms would rather be double-fisting bottles of rum.

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These righteous soldier gnomes have worn camouflage even when it looks terrible with their skin tones.

And these hardcore badasses have kept our fortresses full of liquor, no matter what the cost.

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So here’s to you, gnome soldiers! May you continue to fight so we can drink!

We salute you. Cheers!

Your Majesty,
King Jerry the Gnome

Today’s edition of: GNOME, OR NO GNOME?

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Gnome?

Or no gnome?

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This confused little being was discovered at Cranberry’s Antiques in Blanco, Texas. She kinda looks like a gnome, but then again, she could be an elf or a human toddler wearing a floppy hat.

You don’t see many gnome kids around in public, so the task of “gnome identification” becomes harder than usual. She also lives in an antique store, so perhaps people from decades ago saw gnomes a bit differently.

So the choice is up to you. You be the judge.

Gnome or no gnome?

2014 Gnome Calendars for Sale!

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Don’t become weary with the passing of each month! Think of the 1st as a new beginning to a whole new bunch of adventurous days. Staying optimistic in the winter can be hard…gnomes to the rescue!

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Jean is a kind and lovely gnome caretaker and a personal friend of ours! Her Gnome Man’s Land is located in Santa Rosa, California and she’ll probably even give you a tour if you’re really, really nice!

If you’d like a gnome calendar of your very own, to scribble all of your gnomes’ birthdays on or whatnot, get in touch with her. Jean’s email is [email protected].

Yours truly,
Pablo the Gnome

Halloween Hangover, Gnome Edition (OMG IT’S DAY OF THE DEAD!)

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Most of us are just waking up now from our Halloween outings, and most of us are still in costumes. There are few more entertaining sights in the world than a bunch of gnomes doing walks of shame in torn and stained costumes.

Here’s just a sampling of what I found on my camera when I woke up this afternoon:

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You fill in the blanks.

What’s that, Humps…what? Today is another holiday? It’s the Day of the Dead! OMG why are we not throwing a party yet. Somebody! Get me some skeletons!

Your last minute party planner,
Roxy the Gnome