From what I understand, Movember is a human charity that aims to raise awareness (and dollars) about messed up man parts. Dudes grow mustaches and WABAMMM! Man parts be cured!
And just because I’ve never heard of a documented case of gnome testicular cancer or gnome prostate cancer, doesn’t mean our gnome parts are safe. If mustaches can keep us safe too, then I’m all for it.
I hereby declare that we gnomes are jumping on board the Movember bandwagon!
Actually, it wasn’t a difficult bandwagon to jump on since many of us have been sporting mustaches since the beginning of time. Here’s a few of the best ‘staches around the Gnome Abode:
Caesar likes to lick the frothy goodness from his cappuccino off his ‘stache. Leftover flavors from last night’s dinner make froth even tastier.
Zombies beware! This gun-wielding gnome just got a little more dangerous with a ‘stache and matching satchel.
IGetKnockedDown (the turtle) finds Chumbawamba’s ‘stache irresistible. Well-groomed facial hair improves dancing balance too!
Not all gnomes are capable of growing badass ‘staches, but those who can should rock ’em. Here’s to healthy gnome parts and vibrant upper lip hair!
Leonardo the Gnome
Our gambling problem isn’t exactly on par with our drinking problem just yet, but influential gnomes like this guy are helping bridge the gap.
There’s a town in Michigan called St. Ignace, there’s a casino in St. Ignace called Kewadin, and there’s a restaurant in Kewadin called Horseshoe Bay.
Are you still with me?
As I was saying….inside the Horseshoe Bay lives a gnome. But not just any gnome. An AWARD-WINNING gnome!
James W. Denkins created this amazing gnome sculpture called “Edge of the Forest,” which is on display in the restaurant. Before eating himself beyond measurable limits of obesity, “Edge” hung out at the Grand Rapids art show.
According to Denkins, “Edge of the Forrest” is a collaboration of multiple plants and animals all surrounding a forest gnome, who is looking out from the edge of a forest.“It’s a tribute to our fragile ecosystem,” explains Denkins on his artist statement.
Far out, dude. Far out.
The Soo Evening News described “Edge” as a play on how humans are entangled in everything, for better or for worse. Casino manager, Steve Sprecker commented that “Edge” mirrored the rest of the casino decor.
Does this mean there are MORE GAMBLING GNOMES?!
Looks like a trip up north is in order. Stay strong in your fragility Edge. We’re coming for you…and the blackjack…and the all-you-can-eat fried chicken.
Humps the Gnome
Photo credit: Kewadin Casino/Soo Evening News
Step 1: Go there.
Step 2: Spend some time poking around.
Step 3: Find enlightenment
One of our newest gnome scouts directed us to this website recently and we’ve been enthralled ever since. “Finding good homes for happy gnomes” is their motto and they’re doing pretty damn well at it.
There are plenty of websites lurking around the Interweb soliciting gnome memorabilia. GnomeFrenzy also offers helpful advice for the weary and downtrodden.
Got questions about how to pick out a gnome? They can help. Need to brush up your gnome history. No problem over here! Although the Gnome Gnews is a couple years out of date, it’s still worth a nostalgic browse. (Psst! Hey guys, call us! We read and report on gnome gnews every day!)
One section we found particularly intriguing is the one about Custom Gnomes. One particular project comes to mind – could you guys do a custom Jeep back wheel cover? We’ve got a Gnomemobile with a very cold spare tire.
We’ll be in touch 😉
So anyway, that’s your website recommendation for the day. The Interweb is a confusing place for gnomes these days. Let me be your guide.
Let the Friday madness begin!
Dumblebore the Gnome
We aren’t exactly into the tabloid scene, but one particular headline caught our attention today.
Alyson Hannigan, star of that CBS prime time show that just WON’T GO AWAY was spotted buying a gnome rug. And just when you Buffy fans were starting to lose hope in humanity.
The poor 39-year old (wow, 39…really?) actress was ambushed by paparazzi on Tuesday buying shit at Paper Source in L.A. Among said shit was a holiday doormat that read “There’s no place like gnome.”
True dat, Alyson. True dat.
Turn that gnome mat around, girl, and let us see the goods!
Apparently, she was so overtaken with excitement over her new gnome mat that she forgot her sunglasses in the store and had to go back in to get them. Life’s rough, right?
A big deal was also made about an altercation with a parking meter. I feel ya, girl. Those things are whack.
It’s always nice to see the rich and famous supporting gnome causes in the name of holiday consumerism. Have you seen any celebrities with gnomes lately? Please share! Our voyeuristic inferiority complex thanks you in advance.
Your Celebrity Gnews Contributor,
Photo credit: Daily Mail/Splash
A seemingly-offensive headline caught my attention today as I made my way through the Interweb. It read, “Your Garden Gnome Sucks – – The Yard Art of Little Forest Hills.”
“Ex-cuuuuuse me?” I asked myself in a nonverbal manner.
Despite my better judgment, I clicked on the Dallas Observer article to get my blood pumping.
Apparently, there’s a quirky neighborhood down there called Little Forest Hills, and their motto is “Keep Little Forest Hills Funky.” Although I can’t spot any gnomes in the vicinity, this neighborhood does take its yard art seriously. Here’s a couple of our favorites, and mad props to Allison Perkins for the snapshots:
Perhaps we’re aren’t doing anything as clever as these installations, but still…we most certainly do not suck. It’s simply an unfair comparison. Yet, we want to be a part of whatever the hell is it you’re doing here.
So cheers to yard art around the world!
Our ears are perked and our toes are curled
Great and small,
Come one, come all!
To celebrate the wackiness of grass!
^You see what I did right there? That right there’s a real, live poem.^
X’smores the Gnome