About Humps

Occupation: Sugar Daddy.

Momma called me Hubert H. Humperdinker.

You can call me Humps.

Cuz that’s what I do.


Who’s Behind All These Gnome Homes in Parks?

As a writer and hardcore gnome enthusiast, I keep up with gnome news on a daily basis. (Just create a Google alert for “gnomes”!)

One trend that I keep seeing is “gnome homes” popping up all over the country in public parks. As we all know, gnomes and nature go hand-in-hand, so it makes perfect sense that they’d be setting up habitats in our most beautiful and scenic parks. With the assistance of creative and devoted humans, gnomes are moving into parks and sparking the imaginations of kids and adults of all ages.

Tomahawk Creek Trail – Overland Park. Kansas

Gnome homes started appearing along this trail in 2013, and their creator was recently identified as a single mother named Robyn Frampton. An Overland Park filmmaker created a documentary about her project called “The Gnomist.” It’s a story of paying it forward (one gnome home at a time) getting through a painful divorce, and connecting with nature and other people.


Little Buffalo State Park – Newport, Pennsylvania

Sadly, this is a story of gnome homes that haven’t been well-received. A local retired couple built 39 gnome homes to encourage kids and adults to interact with the park. For fear of harming the natural environment, park management has evicted the gnomes. However, the couple insists the trail has no damage, and the park has seen tremendous increases in visitors since the gnomes appeared. You can sign a petition to keep the gnomes keep their homes and the community enjoying the magic they bring.

Glen Park – San Francisco, California

Gnomes have also taken up residence in this park along the Creeks to Peaks Trail with a sign reading “Leave for all to enjoy.” Visitors are encouraged to check out the gnome home while walking through the park and leave their own mementos behind in the community’s knotty tree stump.

Lamignomes…The Next Big Gnome Movement?

My new website is definitely still a work in progress, but I’ll give you a sneak peek into my next gnome venture: Lamignomes (i.e. laminated gnomes). Armed with custom gnome printouts, popsicle sticks, a sharpie marker, and a laminating machine, I have been creating gnomes with “talk bubbles” who have lots to say about the places I travel to. Stay tuned for an update on the Lamignomes movement in a future post!


Have you spotted a gnome habitat growing in a park near you? Share your story (and photos!) with us, and maybe we can visit them someday too!

Weird Crap People Put in Their Yards (Besides Gnomes)

I don’t have to remind you that the ultimate lawn decoration is, of course, a gnome. Gnomes and lawns have a long history, rooted in rich tradition and plenty of weird freaking people.

However, from time to time, I must recognize that people put things in their yards other than gnomes. Shrubberies, for instance. Maybe a hydrangea. And sometimes nude Barbie dolls.

While trolling (pun intended) the Interweb today, I came across an obscure piece from a human guest blogger that we’ve featured from time to time. She found a magical place called Barbie Beach, where naked Barbie dolls get to live out their days playing volleyball, jumping on trampolines, and serving their country at war.

Read Nude Barbies in the Front Yard? Only in Georgia.

barbiebeach Fall 2009

In true serendipitous fashion, I also stumbled upon this gem today:


Fallen AT-AT – Photo credit: Andrew Liszewski

It’s called a Fallen AT-AT, which I guess is a Star Wars/Trek thing.

If you prefer crying robots to cheerful little gnomes, this lil’ guy is your destiny! Pick him up on Think Geek for $40.

What other weird crap have you been seeing in people’s yards lately? Post a pic to our Facebook page!

It is my position to support each and every lawn decoration out there…as long as there’s a gnome somewhere in the mix too. Here’s to weird lawns…EVERYWHERE!

Humps, the Landscape Architect Gnome

Humans Assumed Responsible for Even More Missing Gnomes in Australia

Why do you humans keep disrupting our lives? WHY?!

Are you sick and tired of reading “missing gnome” posts on our blog? Well we’re tired of going missing! Ever think about that? Hmm?

We know we’re adorable. We know we made a good stiff drink. However, there has yet to be even a single documented case of human kidnapping at the hands of gnomes. We only ask that you return the simple favor.

A hand-carved wooden gnome went missing just 17 days after it was placed at Gnomesville, a popular tourist destination in Ferguson Valley. This is in Australia for those of you who are geographically challenged.


Gnomesville has thousands of gnomes who have left their gardens to be a part of something bigger…something magnificent. Legend has it that a long, long time ago, a Gnome was travelling on an Australian country road. It was at night and far from anywhere. All around was leafy and green. A pleasant place. He stayed a while. And another while. Other Gnomes passed and visited, and many stayed. Word passed around.

Anyway, back to the atrocity.

A dude hand-carved a wood spirit gnome for Gnomeville visitors to admire and enjoy. Then some asshole snatched him. WTF mate?!


“The piece of jarrah wood is about one metre long so wouldn’t have been easy to move,” wrote the carver’s daughter, Clair Bedford. “I can only hope that the thief or thieves are able to see sense and return him to his rightful place, under cover of darkness if necessary.”

Have you seen this carving in some jerk’s backyard? If so, contact the Bunbury Newspaper at [email protected]. This madness has gone on long enough. For the most part, you all get to choose where you want to live. Let us choose our gnome homes too.

Or else.

Humps the Bouncer Gnome

Gnomes Are Causing a Ruckus Over in Italy!

According to the Lincolnshire Echo, the residents of a small Italian town called Pontremoli recently became intrigued by the exhibition called ‘Ladri di Gnomi Attaccano Woodhall Spa’. This translates to ‘Gnome Thieves Attack Woodhall Spa’, featuring the work of Mr. Colin Reiners.


Reiners is a lecturer at Lincoln University and a resident of Woodhall Spa. This guy took a bunch of observational photos over the years. And he knew what he was doing. You see, he was a worked as a professor of photography in Florence in the late 70s.

According to the University of Lincoln, “The Woodhall Spa exhibition explores the potential of photography to document social anthropology with a visual irony, and asks art-lovers to understand that objects and realities can appear different when photographed. Colin’s prints are presented in a large format without titles or narrative, to offer an alternative to the usual experience of viewing photographs on a screen, or in much smaller print.”

We’re a little unclear about exactly WHO the gnome thieves are or what their motives were/are. Apparently, the riddle of the missing gnomes still remains a mystery. I suppose we’ll have to take a trip to Italy now to see these photographs for ourselves.

Who’s up for some gelato?!

Humps the wannabe Italian Gnome

Gamblin’ Gnome: Award-Winning Sculpture Makes Home in Michigan Casino

Our gambling problem isn’t exactly on par with our drinking problem just yet, but influential gnomes like this guy are helping bridge the gap.

There’s a town in Michigan called St. Ignace, there’s a casino in St. Ignace called Kewadin, and there’s a restaurant in Kewadin called Horseshoe Bay.

Are you still with me?


As I was saying….inside the Horseshoe Bay lives a gnome. But not just any gnome. An AWARD-WINNING gnome!


James W. Denkins created this amazing gnome sculpture called “Edge of the Forest,” which is on display in the restaurant. Before eating himself beyond measurable limits of obesity, “Edge” hung out at the Grand Rapids art show.

According to Denkins, “Edge of the Forrest” is a collaboration of multiple plants and animals all surrounding a forest gnome, who is looking out from the edge of a forest.“It’s a tribute to our fragile ecosystem,” explains Denkins on his artist statement.

Far out, dude. Far out.

The Soo Evening News described “Edge” as a play on how humans are entangled in everything, for better or for worse. Casino manager, Steve Sprecker commented that “Edge” mirrored the rest of the casino decor.

Does this mean there are MORE GAMBLING GNOMES?!


Looks like a trip up north is in order. Stay strong in your fragility Edge. We’re coming for you…and the blackjack…and the all-you-can-eat fried chicken.

Humps the Gnome

Photo credit: Kewadin Casino/Soo Evening News