*Shared from the Sun Sentinel because well, we just had to…

This gnome is getting around. His name is Gnorman and I hate him because he’s going way cooler places than I probably ever will.

This random British couple (British, of course) went to Egypt on vacation and left his poor sap behind. The neighbors rescued him from captivity and have taken him everywhere from Buckingham Palace to airplanes to Clacton Pier (wherever the hell that is). Apparently, he gets his old holiday now.

This random couple didn’t notice that Gnorman had even disappeared ’til they found him on Facebook. Leave it to Facebook to spill the beans.

The resident added: “He wants to carry on with his antics so he’s told them he’ll come home if he can still have his independence, which they have promised.”

Let me just add that Gnomeplaya, our master and goddess of all gnomekind has gone out gallavanting in the Northeast. They have left almost all of us gnomes behind. Except Zookwinkle…hey Zooks, hope you’re having fun!

So where are OUR neighbors? Why has no one rescued US! Hey psychic “business” downstairs! Hey mediocre pizza place across the street! I’m talking to you!

Get me outta here!

Pleading with you,
Humps the Gnome

Gnomes are infiltrating Australia once again!

According to The Flinders newspaper, a group of gnomes were recently discovered surrounding the “silent cop” in the middle of the main intersection in the town of Gladstone. Ballsy.

Gnomes have been threatening local officials so much that they’ve agreed to give the country fair a “gnome theme.”

Australian gnomes have also been spotted behind bars at the local post office. Apparently, going to the post office in Australia is even worse than it is in the States. At least we don’t get imprisoned for wanting to mail letters here.

Well that’s your ’round-the-world update, folks. If any of your Aussie gnomes out there care to explain your recent rowdy behavior, we’d love to hear it. No judgement…promise! Just looking for some ideas to start our own revolution in the mountain states…

Your truly,
Humps the Gnome

Photo credit: The Library Faerie