About Lennon

Make soil, not dirt. Make flowers, not weeds. Make weed, not ditch weed.

My fans always ask me how I put up with that arrogant bastard, McCartney. My answer to them is that every day is an gift to be experienced and to learn from. The more uptight he gets, the defiant I get. The more bossy he gets, the more rebellious I get. He and I have a dynamic that I’m only beginning to understand. I need to go meditate on that for a few hours.

Oh yeah and there’s the other guys too. They’re cool.

I love playing the trumpet because I feel that using my lips so much every day will make me the greatest kisser of all time. Gnomes never thought that trumpets could play reggae, but I have shown them they’re wrong.

I love you all and hope all you fans come to our first show on April 1st! I am not opposed to signing bras, boobs, and any other lady parts that might be flashed at me.

Harmony of the whales,

Lennon The Gnome

Hometown Shout Out from the Gnomes of Olney, Illinois :)

We’re simply delighted that our original hometown of Olney, Illinois continues to make headlines with its gnome population!

Check out this awesome shout out from Matt Courter of the Olney Daily Mail:


“For more than a year, residents living near Vernor Lake have been building a small community of garden gnomes on the west side of Ill. 130, just south of Richland Country Club.

Dr. Don Abel, who lives along the lake, said the project began when he was driving to work. On his way down Ill. 130, he noticed an opening in the base of a tree and thought, “That really needs something in there.” He bought a gnome figurine and placed it in the tree.

Before long, another neighbor had made a “Knomesville” sign and the community began to expand.

Adding a domestic touch to the scene, Abel bought dolls from the Salvation Army, then used their clothes to hang on a small clothesline.

Cathy Fehrenbacher, who lives across the highway from the display, said she and her husband Ed have contributed both pieces and upkeep to the display. Abel said Ed Fehrenbacher serves as the unofficial groundskeeper for the village.

“It just kind of kept growing,” Cathy Fehrenbacher said.

A small pine tree, which Abel described as looking initially like a “Charlie Brown” tree, was also transplanted in the area and has been decorated with bulbs. It will likely be decorated for Christmas, Fehrenbacher said.

From their home’s nearby vantage point, Fehrenbacher said it’s interesting to see people’s reactions when they pass, with some even stopping and having their pictures taken by the village.

“It’s kind of stood on its own,” she said. “It’s a group effort.”

Neighborhood resident Marilyn Hartrich, who with her husband Rick has contributed to the project, also mentioned the attention the area gets from those passing by.

“It’s funny to see all the people stop and look,” she said.

Abel said he gets enjoyment from seeing parents walking their children through the display.

“That just really is what it’s all about,” he said.”

Massive Pharmaceutical Company Adopts Gnome as Mascot

Although we don’t have many swimsuit-wearing gnomes around The Abode, we’re well aware of the famous mankini gnome.

Although this isn’t exactly NEW news, we just learned that the infamous mankini gnome is being used as a mascot for the human pharmaceutical industry. All I have to say about that is WFT?!?

mankini rghtside--371x247

The Boston Globe reported that Johnson & Johnson is using a mankini gnome to travel around as a mascot/trophy to a bunch of so-called innovation centers. This “trophy” is given to the center who was the most innovative last quarter.


They think a captured gnome held against his will (in scantily clad attire) will get their employees to be in the “right mindset.” Praytell, exactly WHAT kinda mindset is that?

Hey major corporation, we are a small blog run by gnomes. But you’re clearly benefiting from our presence, so we kindly request your response to this post. Please explain what sort of mindset this poor, defenseless gnome is giving your employees. And stop calling us trophies! Truth be told, we’re pretty good at accounting.

And please send some Q-tips. We’ve run out.

And baby shampoo. The young gnomes’ eyes are burning.


Lennon the Gnome

Gnomes on a Plane: The Movie

You’ve heard of Snakes on a Plane. You probably never saw it, but you probably made fun of it at one point or another.

Well, allow me to introduce you to a new terrifying threat.


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With their safety belts fastened!

Not smoking in the lavatory!

And passing martinis in the back!

***Stay tuned for the full movie preview trailer coming soon.

Lennon the Gnome

Gnomes & 1970’s Sitcoms

Leave it to the Brits to put gnomes in their sitcoms.

I found myself bored and browsing Netflix last night in search of some comedic relief. After a good amount of scrolling, I settled on a 1970’s British sitcom called Fawlty Towers.Fawlty Towers. The Builders. part 26..wmv  - YouTube

Even if you dislike the concept of laughing, you’ve GOT to watch Season 1, Episode 2. Why? Because there is a gnome in it, you dumb twat!!!

Ahem. The episode is called “The Builders” and it’s mostly about hiring some silly workmen. A delivery guy brings in a 2-foot tall green, yellow, and red gnome that Syil Fawlty had ordered. After a communication breakdown with a Spanish fellow, the gnome almost gets a room for the night at the hotel.

fawlty_gnomeIn a violent rage, character Basil Fawlty threatens a workman that he would come over and insert a large garden gnome IN him. Now that’s just vulgar and unnecessary, folks.

Although I cringed throughout the rest of the episode, I am pleased to report that no gnomes seemed to be harmed in the making of this show.

Although we gnomes certainly don’t like to be “inserted” into things, we did enjoy watching our distant British cousin be featured in so many scenes of this episode. Television generally sucks. But it would be a far better place if there were more garden gnomes simply sitting in the background.

Somebody please make that happen.

Lennon the Gnome

Elton John: A Gnome in Disguise?

Regardless of your musical tastes, you’ve got to hand it to Sir Elton John for his work in the gnome community.

eltongnome2Elton recently decorated a gnome to put on display at the Royal Horticultural Society Chelsea Flower Show later this month. This is what Elton’s gnomish creation looked like. Pretty snazzy, eh?

eltongnomeBut this isn’t the first time that Elton has crossed paths with gnomes. If you recall, he dressed up (in animated form) as Paris, the rock star gnome character in Gnomeo & Juliet. This gnomishly delicious film was produced by his very own film company, Rocket Pictures.

Elton’s sequined creation wearing over-sized glasses is up for auction at the prestigious flower show, which starts on May 21st. We’re all waiting in anticipation to see what rich bastard makes the winning bid. We’re assuming in advance that Elton Gnome is out of our budget.

elton3With this all being said, I can’t help but ask aloud the question that we all are silently suppressing. Is Elton John really just a gnome in disguise? I mean look at this guy. How can you describe him as anything BUT gnome-like?

Chew on that for awhile as your Friday afternoon ticks by.

Yours Truly,
Lennon the Gnome