About Lurleen Lumpkin Sitting on a Pumpkin



Halloween Gnome Sightings

Humans have been decorating their yards with Halloween decorations lately, but that doesn’t mean there’s no room for gnomes.

Check out these yards we’ve scoped out in the neighborhood!

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See? Gnomes NEXT TO Halloween decorations. Clearly, this is the best and brightest way to creepify your yard.

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So as you’re displaying your finest bloody bones and graveyard horrors, please leave us be. We love Halloween and we want to be part of your demonic decor. Some people think we’re creepy anyway, and at this time of year we accept it.

Muchas gracias!
Lurleen Lumpkin sitting on a pumpkin, the gnome



Gnomes, Literature, and Parasitic Plants

Many of us at the Gnome Abode have weird freaking names. There’s DoorsOpenOnTheLeftAtClarkAndLake, ChumbawambaIGetKnockedDown, and don’t even get me started on Bernastacio Socatine de la Guadalupe Sanches Garza.

Well today, I stumbled across a gardening article that discussed a gnome that shares a name with a parasitic plant.

Random enough for your Monday? I thought so.

greyThe Little Grey Men is a book about the last four remaining gnomes in Britain. The three most important ones are Dodder, Sneezewort, and Baldmoney. Dodder the gnome, apparently shares his name with a parasitic plant that creates havoc in the world of botany.

In the book, Dodder is the oldest and wisest of the gnomes. He has a wooden leg and a long beard that he dyed with walnut juice. How resourceful.

dodderDodder, the plant, is pretty whack because it doesn’t have any chlorophyll. To take you back to elementary school science class, that’s the stuff that makes plants green.

dodder_1Apparently, golden dodder originates from North America and damages crops. However, the WORD “dodder” originates from Germany and means egg yolk. The plant has all kinds of secret identities/multiple personalities and has also been called by the names, Beggar Vine, Love Vine, and Strangleweed.

The dodder plant’s purpose in life is to latch onto other plants and remove their nutrients. How rude.

What is my point in all of this? Well I don’t really have one. Except to point out how weird our names are, and therefore how weird we gnomes are too.

Mind your gardens, folks!

Love truly,
LurleenLumpkinSittingOnAPumpkin the gnome

A Tutorial in Gnome Sewing!

Hey kiddos!

Gramma Lurlene here ready to wow your socks off with a brand new cross stitch pattern!

I know it’s the most exciting thing you could have expected for your Thursday, but hold on to your hats ’cause we’re not out of the woods yet! I love sewing in the woods…how ’bout you?

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At first glance, you might be like, “oh that’s just a monkey.” Touché! This is not JUST a monkey. It’s a monkey wearing a gnome cross stitch bib!

Can you even believe what you’re seeing?!?

Once you’ve caught your breath, check out Material Evidence’s Etsy site. They stitched the pattern on a iPhone case, but you can stitch it on whatever you like.

As if this GNOME pattern wasn’t amazing enough, it’s also FREE! How many other free things have people sent to you today? Probably none. You’re welcome very much!

Don’t know how to cross stitch? No problem! It’s one of the easiest sewing crafts to master and it requires very few materials. Check out a this video posted by one of my best human friends for a quick tutorial.

Happy stitching!

Your drunk gramma,
Lurleen The Gnome

Adopt-a-Gnome program to raise funds for arboretum

Originally published in  Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier, IA
December 11, 2012 6:00 am

WATERLOO, Iowa — Mythical figures or kitschy lawn ornaments, gnomes are part of garden folklore, and the Cedar Valley Arborettum and Botanic Garden is sponsoring an Adopt-a-Gnome program to raise funds for the garden.


For a $100 donation, donors can adopt and name a gnome for one year. The gnomes will be scattered throughout the garden and along paths, and using an educational map children can participate in a “Sherlock Gnomes Scavenger Hunt.”

Gnomes will be painted by volunteers at NewAldaya in Cedar Falls. The adoptive donor will receive a photograph of the finished gnome.

Deadline for adoption is Jan. 31.

The donation can be designated for a specific program or garden or as a general donation. Call (319) 226-4966 or email [email protected] to adopt a gnome.

Why Gnomes Should Celebrate Christmas: A Rebuttal


If you’re keeping up with your daily gnome news, you’ll remember an article from yesterday that posed the question if Christmas is a holiday for gnomes as well as humans.

I’ll agree with yesterday’s author that Christmas can be a confusing time for us. There’s plenty of elves posing as us, even know everyone knows how lame elves really are. But I have something that just may renew all of you gnomes’ faith in Christmas.

It’s a card….a Christmas card…but not just any Christmas card. It’s a Christmas card with gnomes all over it. Gnomes! A card for US!

The photo doesn’t do it justice, but there are tiny tabs on the front with numbers from 1 through 24. Each day during the month of December, I’ve pulled a tab to count down the days until Christmas. Each tab represents a gift and reminds me about the gnomish spirit of giving.


For example, under tab #14 was a couple of dogs. Under tab #22 was a basket mushrooms. And under tab #8 was a bouquet of flowers.

Today, the 23rd of December, offered me a church scene with large stained glass windows and candelabras. I only have one more tab to open, tomorrow for the 24th,  and then it’s Christmas day! I can’t wait to see what tomorrow’s gift is!





So even though I’m still sitting on a pumpkin (and you probably think pumpkins are out of season, which they’re NOT!), I am a huge fan of Christmas. And although our new gnome spiritual leader, Evan Gelical, hasn’t exactly converted me to religion, I still love this time of year.

So as my dad used to say, “Merry Christmas Adam!” (because tomorrow’s Eve’s day and Adam deserves his own too).

Lurleen Lumpkin Sitting on a Pumpkin, The Gnome