Top o’ the mornin’, gnomies!

Just like you humans, we gnomes have mothers. This female life source tends to offer advice and recommendations, even when our step slows down and out beards turn gray. Sometimes, we brush off our moms’ words as being just plain silly. But other times, mommas offer seriously legit advice.

I received an email forward today from my gnome momma today. The email included a link to a website, Garden Fun. When you take a look at this page, you might first think that these gnomes are for sale.

NOT TRUE!

Sites like this are actually social media resources for us gnomes. They let us locate and communicate directly with our distant cousins via the Interweb. While we may no longer have the addresses or phone numbers for our relatives, sites like Garden Fun let us “online stalk” our kinda-sorta-loved ones and track them down (whether they want to be or not).

Do you want to eat some good tacos with your Mexican great-uncle, El Gnombre?

Want to ask out that girl you met in the bar, Marilyn Monroe the Gnome?

Pick up some latkes from cousin, Shalon Gnome?

Or arrange a hunting trip with the Butch Huntress Gnome, your long lost sister-in-law?

So don’t feel bad for the gnomes listed on Garden Fun. They’re not for sale and they’re not being held captive against their will. Thanks to sites like this, we can chat and meet up with all of the aforementioned extended family…. and many others we’d tried to forget about for so long.

Have a most splendid day!
Spechelle The Gnome

Whew. What a freaking sigh of relief. Big thanks to our gnome scout BC for keeping us up to date on recent gnomish activism.

According to the Benjamin Sutton of, artinfo.com,

Despite widespread worries that the mysterious Oakland street art gnomes’ days were numbered after Pacific Gas & Electric — to whose utility poles many of the mini-murals have been affixed — threatened to remove hundreds of them, NoCal gnome fans may now breathe a sigh of relief, as the energy company has opted against the mass gnomicide, the San Francisco Chronicle reports.

“We received a great deal of public feedback, so we’re declaring the poles gnome-man’s land. We’re not going to remove them,” Jason King, a spokesperson for PG&E told the Chronicle. “We’re committed to working with the artist, the city and the community to find a peaceful resolution.”

Though the identity of the gnome-painter remains a mystery, he or she sent PG&E an email pleading for leniency in the Lilliputian figures’ treatment. “I’m a resident of Oakland who simply thought this would be a nice way to make my fellow Oaklanders happy and proud,” he or she wrote. “We see too much garbage on the streets here, too many shootings, too much violence, not enough that makes one stop and smile. … They were meant to be an ongoing gift to my community.”

The artist also contacted Oakland City Hall, which convened an emergency meeting with PG&E. “We are holding peace talks in a secret mushroom patch near the Rose Garden,” City Councilwoman Lynette McElhaney’s chief of staff Zac Wald told the Chronicle. “People love the gnomes, and they are District Three residents.”

Let us rejoice with really large mugs of beer!

xoxo,
Spechelle The Gnome