I’m sure you’ve been wondering, and yup I’m still in the great land of Canada! Where in Canada, you ask? Good question, I say!
I’m in Squamish, which is said to be the ‘outdoor recreation capital of Canada’. Therefore, I’ve vowed to spend as much time in the outdoors as gnomishly possible.
It isn’t hard either because this place is freaking gorgeous…..hellooooooo photo shoot opportunities!
What a charming young fella, wouldn’t ya say?
And there are so many places for good gnome homes here. (Pssst! Hey King Jerry! How ’bout you pick up a lil’ real estate for The Abode residents out here?!?)
Speaking of gnome homes, I was starting to get super bummed that I couldn’t find any gnomes living in Canada. Anywhere in this huge nation! Just think of it…a gnomeless land. I take it back, don’t think of it. It’s just too preposterous.
After an afternoon of hardcore mountain biking, I went for a stroll along the downtown stretch towards the town’s brewery for my daily sippy sip. Lo and behold, what do I see in a quaint community garden? A tiny green hat poking through the leaves!
I squealed with delight and rushed over to greet my new Canadian best friend. Turns out his name was Dudley Somethingson and boy, did he ever have some great stories to tell!
Also turns out that he was appointed by the International Gnome Advisory Committee (IGAC) to maintain law and order over all of British Columbia. The whole providence! What a powerful gnome!
You’d think Mr. Somethingson would have an ego the size of a human with all that power and responsibility, but nooooo! He was so down to earth that I couldn’t help but sit and listen to his stories about winning rock climbing and whitewater kayaking championships in the past century.
Sigh…what a guy.
I was sad to leave my new buddy, Dudley, but I knew he had lots of important Canadian work to do. So I decided to drink my sorrows away…..as is the standard. Helloooooo Howe Sound Brewery!
This spot offered an excellent mountain view and brew combo. Peso came along. He’s alright I guess…for a monkey anyway.
He doesn’t speak or read shit for Canadian so I had to do all the work. Fortunately for him, beer work is my speciality. Besides, gnomes are inherently multi-lingual.
I picked out sample sizes for us to share of the Garibaldi Honey Pale Ale, Diamond Head Oatmeal Stout, Baldwin & Cooper Best Bitter, Whitecap Wheat Ale, Rail Ale Nut Brown, 4-Way Fruit Ale, and King Heffy Imperial Hefeweizen.
The 4-Way Fruit and the Hefeweizen were definitely my favorites and I helped myself to seconds….and thirds….and well, then I lost count. That monkey really needs to handle his liquor. And I’ll just leave it at that.
Hey Dudley, if you’re reading this: First off, congrats on gaining access to the Canadian Interweb! Second, shoot me an email when you get a chance regarding those article ideas we discussed. We’d love to have you featured as an international blog poster! Call me!!!
Zookwinkle The Traveling and Wanna-Be Canadian Gnome