I’m going shopping for my wedding china tonight!
Did I suddenly get married, you ask? No, but….
Did I at least get engaged, you ask? Well, not exactly, but….
It never hurts to be over-prepared! Jerry is sure to come around any day now. I can just feel it!
Every gnome kingdom queen needs a proper set of china to serve from. Reception seating arrangements start tomorrow!
Tabitha The Gnome
P.S. – Jerry, if you’re reading this – any day now…..any day.
According to Pascal Press,
“Winston Bedwell held a news conference Saturday asking for help to petition the US government to recognize the establishment a Butt-Gnomes as an official religion. Bedwell was adamant that there are gnomes living in the lower intestines of everyone in the world, and influence how we act and decide our fate in the afterlife.”
http://pascalspress.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/man-wants-recognition-of-butt-gnome-religion/
Bedwell went so far as to post a photo which he described as a bad Butt Gnome after expulsion.
Religion has always been a bit of a sketchy subject in the gnome community. Although we are not aware of any official gnome religion, many gnomes tend to adopt the religion of their human caregivers. I’ve met a fair share of Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindi, and Buddhist gnomes who have a clear understanding of their religious beliefs. However, most of us wander around not knowing what’s real, what’s bullshit, and if there is really any more to life than this.
According to WowWiki, gnomes are generally agnostic, atheists, pagans, communists, and being converted into Cataclysm. Apparently there are Gnomish Holy Light clerics in Nethergarde, but they seem to unstable to worship it en-masse.Seems like we are all over the place, eh?
http://www.wowwiki.com/Talk:Gnome
But now I come across an article about this Butt-Gnome Religion. It seems just about as reasonable as any other religion really. And it seems more relevant to gnomes in general, which we appreciate because we are generally self-centered.
I propose that this Sunday, we hold a Butt-Gnome Religion study group to begin investigating this new belief system and decide whether it fits the needs of The Gnome Abode.
Gnomes of all backgrounds and belief systems are welcome to attend and encouraged to bring your own ideas, suggestions, and snacks. Booze will be provided, of course. Start time shall be 12:00 noon.
Please contact me with any questions about this event, dear wayward gnomes, and we shall find the light together.
Your self-appointed spiritual leader,
The Quick Brown Fox The Gnome
Check out the cool new “surf blue” Jeep on our blog’s cover page! That dastardly photo documenting St. Bastille Day’s brief reign over The Gnome Abode has been removed and tossed into a fire pit I made in the living room.
Gnomes love Jeeps! Especially this one!
Kamikaze has the best driving skills out of all of us, so he usually takes us out to do our errands. The broom he holds helps to push the petal thingies.
Now that we have successfully defeated that evil (and way horny) lizard St. Bastille Day, we don’t expect him to be taking up our well-deserved Jeep privileges as much anymore.
And according to a Jeep dealership in Vancouver, Jeeps are incredibly gnome-safe!
You won’t accidentally “kill” garden gnomes with a Jeep
One conspicuous fault that all SUVs and light trucks share in common is the interminable presence of a “blind spot” at the back of the vehicle. Even when all three rear view mirrors are facing squarely at the middle portion of the rear, it’s still impossible to gauge if you’re not in danger of running over something (i.e. the aforementioned garden gnome) or someone (i.e. your cat). Thankfully, folks like the Vancouver Jeep dealers are only too aware of this problem. The solution? Make the mirrors wide enough to accommodate the view, and just to make sure, early collision detectors like the compass, auto dimmer, and thermometer are all prerequisite safety features of a Jeep that will help you ensure that no gnome will die in vain.
– http://www.squidoo.com/vancouver-jeep
Peep sqiddily doo!
X’mores The Gnome
Is this thing on? Hello??
Oh wait, thERE it goes. HELLO! We are Monkeys!
And we want to say HI!! We really like GNomes!! They are small, colorful and funny! And sometimes they feed us bananas!
My name is nappy and my two brothers are Happy and Fatty. Happy Lives IN the Gnome Abode. I live with GNOmanatee.
We haVe Finally, figured out How to use THE computer and interWebs, it took three of us. I’m the one typing beLOW:
BYE! Oh, and we totall made a DEal with that EVil, Lizard! BYE AGAIN! SEE YOU ALL SOON!!!
TELEGRAM TRANSCRIPT
FROM: KING ST. BASTILLE DAY THE FIRST
MY COUP HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL STOP I HAVE DEFEATED THOSE PESKY GNOMES STOP ALL HAIL YOUR NEW KING ST BASTILLE DAY STOP