Category Archives: Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings

A Gnome’s Favorite Shot Glass

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While trolling (excuse my French) the Internet this morning, I stumbled upon an article by this really cool writer chick about collecting shot glasses as souvenirs.

It’s no secret that we gnomes love to travel, and NO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT BLASTED TRAVELOCITY GNOME. We were traveling way before his grimy paws took hold of the traveling gnome scene. Thankyouverymuch.

But back to my original point, we love to travel and we love to drink. So collecting shot glasses comes very naturally to us. Here’s a couple of us posing with our favorites:

photoWhether it’s smoking in Florida, hiking in Zion Canyon, photographing Yosemite, or waving our drunk flag high in Ireland, we like to remember fond travel memories whilst getting plastered. We’ll continue collecting, continue drinking, and continue traveling…simple as that.

So where’s your favorite shot glass from? What’s its story?

That isn’t a rhetorical question!
Pablo the Gnome

Our First MexiGnome!!!

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In the spirit of gnome diversity, we have welcomed our very first MexiGnome to the Gnome Abode!

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Dude doesn’t have a name yet, so we keep calling him MexiGnome. Is this racist? Racist in the spirit of anti-racism? I must say though…dude never strays far from his horse or his guitar. Good quality in a dude if you ask me.

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Please send us your suggestion for Mr. MexiGnome’s proper nomenclature. We’restruggling on this one, since many of our pasty-white-as-can-be gnomes have Hispanic names. Yes, I’m referring to you, Alfredo, Pablo, and Ramon.

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In other news, we’ve heard rumors about a Greek gnome and a Scottish gnome joining our ranks any day now. Bring it, bitches…we’re ready for ya! Though we might ask you for cuisine recommendations. You’ve been forewarned.

Happy freaking Friday, gnomites!
Rj Simmons Jr. the Welcoming Committee Gnome

Just When You Thought You’d Seen It All: A Gnome Bikini

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Dear gnomes and other species of gnome fans,

It might be the middle of August, but there is still plenty of time to hit the beach this summer. In case you need a little beach-style inspiration, I now present you with…

THE GNOME BIKINI!

gnomebikiniPleasant looking models can even make gnomes look sexy. Am I wrong? AM I?!

I’ll leave you with that to ponder on for the rest of your day.

Tootaloo,
Cowabunga the Gnome

Another reason to hate cats

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Greetings gnomeites,

Need yet another reason to hate cats? Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWuIGAZ1x2I

It’s a commonly known fact that gnomes and cats don’t get along. But like all commonly known facts, there are exceptions to the rule.

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But these exceptions are few and far between. So keep hatred alive.

Love,
Leonardo the Gnome

PS – gnome poop looks nothing like cat poop.

Gnomes are FREAKING PUMPED for the new season of Breaking Bad!

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We gnomes are very rarely in tune with pop culture. However, today is one of those rare exceptions you only hear about in fairy tales.

One of our all-time favorite shows, Breaking Bad, is having its season premiere tonight. We’ve all been sitting around the Kindle watching marathon-style old episodes in anticipation.

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Only an hour to go!

We’re started cooking our feast as well, so we don’t get mid-episode munchies and have to leave our uncomfortable wooden benches.

After the season premiere, you can expect gnome-flavored commentary about the episode and the kind of ingenious insights that only those with pointy hats can provide.

Did I mention there’s only an hour to go?

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I gotta go check on that eggplant.

Happy viewing!
Lil’ Dimwit the Gnome