Gnome Man’s Land: A California Fantasy Land 40 Years in the Making

Imagine walking into the backyard of an unassuming single family home, only to find thousands of pairs of beady little eyes peering out at you beneath pointy red hats.1No, this isn’t the setup for some creepy B-horror film; it’s a dream-come-true for every hardcore gnome collector. This summer, I had the pleasure of visiting Gnome Man’s Land, an elaborate gnome home and garden in Santa Rosa, California.2Now this is no fly-by-night gnome collection tucked away in the bowels of obscurity. Oh, no no. This is a gnomish fantasy land nearly 40 years in the making, operated by my good friend and personal idol, Jean Fenstermaker.4Jean was inspired to create Gnome Man’s Land in the 1960s after a few key life events: her Disneyland storybook canal ride, her mother’s rock garden, and her friend who had two gnomes on an office desk. Jean’s first gnome garden was born on January 25, 1976 and spanned just 18 inches by 35 inches in size.

From the very beginning, Jean loved to create mini-themes within her garden and stories about her gnomes. With some plant clippings from her mother and tiny bridges and accessories built by her woodworking father, her gnomes’ stories began coming to life.3Over the years, Jean has created eight additional and separate gnome gardens in her backyard. There’s The Forest Rock Garden with wildlife, The Frog Garden with gnomes and amphibians co-existing in harmony, and the Life-Size Garden…which is, you guessed it, full of LIFE-SIZED GNOMES.

But keep your britches on…even in real life, gnomes are still pretty tiny.3You can find everyone from immigrant gnomes, partially-clothed gnomes using the bathroom, gnomes with gambling habits, gnomes fighting neighbor gnomes, and vegetable-growing gnomes lurking around every corner and begging for your attention.4The spring and summer seasons bring local visitors, out-of-state travelers, and gnome aficionados from around the globe to Jean’s gnome home. The typical crowd comes from church groups, “red hatters,” and senior living facilities. Gnomes are pretty fragile, and I know that if I ever have kids, I’ll be keeping my gnomes safely packed away ’til they’re old enough to understand how awesome they are.4I personally met Jean a few years ago through the International Gnome Club, where we are both tri-annual contributing newsletter writers. For over a decade now, I’ve gotten a kick out of being part of a subculture that baffles the other 99 percent of humanity.5I also just need to put this out there: Jean’s husband, Jim, deserves a ton of praise and recognition. Jim has helped build the gardens, weeds the plants, prunes the roses, AND he enthusiastically socializes with random gnome fanatics wandering through his backyard.

If I ever have a husband, he damned well better be as supportive of my gnome obsession as that Mr. Fenstermaker. And I’ll just leave it at that.6Despite Jean and Jim’s attempts at keeping a low profile, they’ve been featured in lots of newspapers – most recently the San Francisco Chronicle, which led to two subsequent radio interviews. Jean’s garden was featured in the amazing book Gnomeland by Margaret Egleton (yes, I have a copy). And TV crews have been out to her Santa Rosa home from Home & Garden TV, The Travel Channel, and ABC’s Dream Home and Collectibles.8Jean is one of the kindest and most welcoming human beings I’ve ever met. So much so that she made a sign (held up by a gnome, of course) welcoming my boyfriend and me to Gnome Man’s Land as soon as we pulled into the driveway.  Gnome collectors truly are kindred spirits.9After an extensive VIP tour of her gnome garden, Jean whipped out the Gnome Bingo cards and we settled in for some good ole’ fashioned non-monetary gambling with refreshments. Not surprisingly, each Bingo square depicted a themed section of Jean’s quirky gnome garden.7Much to my grumbling stomach’s delight, she offered to cook a delicious dinner to share with us to further chat about all-things-gnome and all-things-non-gnome. All of the dishes were adorned with gnomes, and there were even gnome cookies for dessert. Can you say gnome overload? I was practically hyperventilating for hours.10Jean has a true and unwavering passion for gnomes, and it shows so beautifully every time her eyes light up with the reflection of a red hat in the distance. She takes such pride in her home, yard, collection, and loyal following that I can’t help but admire her to the point of stealing her ideas for my own home display one day.

As I mentioned earlier, Jean and Jim like to keep a low profile. Although they are the friendliest of friendly to fellow gnome fans, they don’t exactly just open up their backyard to just anyone either.

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You just can’t be too cautious with vandals lurking in the night. I keep up with daily gnome news, and nearly every day there’s a police report filed about gnomes being maliciously stolen, broken, and vandalized!

However, if you’re ever planning a trip to the Napa Valley region of California and would like to have the BEST DAY EVER, I’m might just be able to hook you up with a Gnome Man’s Land VIP Tour.

(Restrictions and fees may apply. Kidding. Sort of.)11“Are there any real live gnomes in existence? If there are, I’d sure like to see one!” ~ The cautiously optimistic Jean Fenstermaker.

*This article was originally published in on November 12, 2014 in Alyssa v. Nature.

Breaking News! Gnome Fest in Tuscon TOMORROW! Hop on a freaking plane!

We had a nice quiet weekend in the countryside planned and welp, that just got thrown out the window!

Why, you ask?

Because we just remembered that Metro Gnome Music’s 3rd annual Gnome Fest is taking place TOMORROW!

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We have issued a gnome-wide alert to cancel manicures, find pet sitters, and disappoint distant relatives. It’ll all be worth it, because this year’s Gnome Fest is set to be even better than last year.

Read My 2013 Post About Gnome FestLet’s All Go to Tuscon on Saturday!

The festivities are taking place tomorrow October 18th at 4044 E. Speedway in Tuscon – between the hours of 11:30am and 6:00pm.

Once again, this crew will be trying to break the Guinness Book World Record for the Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Garden Gnomes. The current record is 468.

Let’s blow that lame number to smithereens, people!

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But alas this is a music shop, so the fest is also all about the music.

According to a Metro Gnome press release, Amosphere, led by 2005 Grammy Award finalist AmoChip, female-fronted trio Copper & Congress, multi-format ensemble group Genevieve & The LP’s, the 90’s alternative/grunge rock band Lollapaloozers, and the self-described “opposite of robots”: Sorry About The Garden.

There’s gonna be some weird freaking contests, including prizes for the fastest Twinkie eater and quickest Brompton Bike folder. What am I looking forward to the most? That’d be the Gnome Wobble Contest.

Stumped by those three words strung together in a sentence? Watch this wobble instructional video and boost your pop culture quotient. It’s at 3pm, and gnomes have no patience for tardiness.

Haven’t we always been telling you how much gnomes and animals get along? Metro Gnome Music will be selling gnome hats for $5 and $2 of each one will go to the Humane Society of Southern Arizona. Woof! Meooooooowwwwww!

Love eating out of a motorized vehicle? There’ll be plenty of food trucks, like You Sly Dog and Gigi’s Mexican & Peruvian Fusion to satisfy your obscure cravings.

We’ll see you at the fest!

xoxo,
Kamikaze, your last-minute party guide gnome

Meet Lampy…The Oldest Gnome in the World (Who’s Overseeing a Cycling Race!)

Here at The Gnome Abode, we got a guy who was born in 1970. Fips has got nothin’ on Lampy, the oldest known gnome in the world.

Lampy is the only survivor of a set of 21 garden gnomes that were important from Germany to Britain in the 1840s. An eccentric spiritualist, Sir Charles Isham, brought Lampy and his dear brothers over in 1847. They were all made out of terracotta, and the whereabouts of Lampy’s brothers’ remains is a mystery.

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Lampy: most treasured father of all gnomes

Isham’s daughters (who sound like miserable people) hated the gnomes and removed them from their property. But sneaky lil’ Lampy survived! And today, he’s considered to be the oldest garden gnome in the world.

In 1997, Lampy was insured for £1 million, and is estimated to be worth £2 million.

WHOA!

You can see Lampy for yourself inside Lamport Hall in Northamptonshire, where he’s been living for over 125 years.

“In Chelsea Flower Show’s centenary year, I can’t think of anything more fitting than an invite for Lampy,” said Lamport Hall’s assistant property manager, Neil Lyon, before the suprisingly gnome-friendly recent event.

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A replica of Lampy the garden gnome (WikiCommons)

So what’s Lampy up to these days?

Well by golly, he’s the guest of honor at an upcoming cycling race…what else?

Cycle 4 Cynthia is taking place on September 21st to raise money for Cynthia Spencer Hospice and the Northhampton charity, Kidsaid, which supports kids who’ve suffered from bullying and abuse. According to the Northampton Chronicle, participants are being encouraged to dress up like dear ole’ Lampy in his honor!

Cyclists will ride five, 25, or 50 mile routes and yes, there are prizes for best costume!

Neil Lyon, Lamport’s Assistant Property Manager, said: “I’m sure Lampy would be pleased to think that he was playing his small part in helping to raise even more money for this wonderful event and he cant wait to see all those riders with red pointed hats perched on top of their cycle helmets pedal off down the drive.”

If your little gnome legs are up for the challenge, sign up for the race at visit www.cycle4cynthia.com!

And this concludes today’s combined lesson of history and current events.

Oh and happy Labor Day to all our lazy non-working American gnomes 🙂

xoxo,
Sketchy Andy the Gnome

Meet Pennifer Pennypincher: Lava Beds Adventure Extraordinaire!

And now, a brief message from your leader, King Jerry the Gnome: 

Lots of new smiling faces join The Gnome Abode from time to time, but only the cream of the crop pass the stringent screening test to write on The Drunk Gnome blog. Allow me to introduce you to Pennifer Pennypincher….take it from here P.

Hey guys! Pennifer here! I’ve traveled all the way from Portland, where I was born at a pottery shop called Mimosa Studios.
Pennifer PennipincherThese are some of my brothers and sisters…perhaps you’ve met some of them?

Shhh! Some of them aren’t yet fully clothed! Don’t censor me on my first post!

Mimosa studiosMy hometown, Mimosa (fitting for THE DRUNK GNOME, wouldn’t you say??!), is running a traveling gnome promotion right now. If you’re perusing through my city, stop in to adopt one of my brothers or sisters. You’ll get to clothe him/her however you like (kinky, eh?) and even receive an adoption certificate.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Take your new little buddy on wild and crazy adventures, snapping photos along the way, for a chance to win unidentified prizes. My favorite kind!

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My new family took me to Lava Beds National Monument in Northern California to kick off my traveling career. As you can see, I’m clutching my cash and my clutch, and I’m ready to rumble.

There’s more than just dried up lava at this place too….THERE’S CAVES!

Some gnomes prefer deep, dark caves to live in, but me? I’m a west coast girl at heart and I like my sunshine.

sunshineOne particular cave was actually called “Sunshine” because, well, sunshine sneaked down there somehow. Like a miracle!

sunlightThere was hiking and wearing hard hats and using flashlights and everything down here! My new gnome family rocks!

Pun intended.

Don’t worry, I’ll limit my punning posts.

Now that I’ve gotten to you to the edge of your seat, you can scoot back now. I may be made of pottery, but I’m no delicate flower and I see lots more adventures in my new future.

xoxo

Pennifer Pennypincher the latest and greatest travel gnome

 

 

The Coolest Grandpa in All of Scotland

Whew! We’ve just gotten back from a whirlwind west coast tour with lots of gnome sightings along the way. I can barely catch my little gnome breath, but never fear! Plenty of gnomish travel reports are in the works and headed your way soon!

Just as one adventure wraps up, I’ve found another place to go….Scotland!

Photo credit: Daily Mail

Photo credit: Daily Mail

Allow me to introduce you to Robert Rae, a 64-year-old who’s spent the last eight years filling his yard with over 1,000 lawn ornaments. Take browse through the photos in this Daily Mail article to get a glimpse of all the gnomes and gnome friends who’ve taken up residence in Caol – the largest village in Scotland.

“It gives me something to do,” Rae explained. “I never thought it would end up like this when I started but the children enjoy it. There’s still room for more”

MORE?!

Yes, more!

Rae used to be a telephone box cleaner, but couldn’t return to work after having a heart attack. Honestly, lawn ornament decorating seems to be a much more pleasant profession.

He’s won all sorts of awards for his amazingly quirky yard, but some a**hole vandals recently broke in so he had to install surveillance. Our hearts go out to the broken gnomes.

Alright gnomies, let’s pack it up for Scotland, because this place surely deserves a visit!

Friday farewell,
Sheldon the retired, but not entirely retired, travel gnome