Rarely do we welcome human contribution on our blog, but we thought this article was worthy of mention:
http://www.alyssavnature.com/2013/10/23/dirty-bills-a-sort-of-gnome-themed-dive-bar-in-austin/
A gnome-themed bar? Sign us up!
I had the pleasure of meeting Dirty Bill while I was in Austin, and he was a stand-up kinda dude.
Read, read, read all about it!
Zookwinkle the Gnome
Howdy gnome fans,
Perhaps you’ve heard a little through the grapevine (mmm…wine) about my recent gnomish travels through Texas. It was grand, I must admit, and I have another confession to make as well.
I didn’t come home alone.
Now, now. Don’t let your mind fall into the gutter. It’s not a lady gnome and there’s no scandal.
And okay, to be fair….no I haven’t swung the other way in quite some time now.
But I did rescue a poor, old sap that I discovered in an antique shop in Austin. Uncommon Objects is a super-random vintage shop on Congress Avenue. As I strolled through the crowded, but surprisingly organized aisles, I just had a feeling that gnomes were living here.
Finally, I laid eyes on a set of three chipped and faded men with pointy hats. One was drinking, one was smoking, and one appeared to be sleeping.
I went into this long spheel about what a magical place The Gnome Abode was and only the smoker seemed interested. Figures.
I invited him to come back home with me…that is to venture outside his comfort zone and see another part of the world. He looked back at his brothers and said, “Eh, I’ve been standing next to these douchebags for the past 60 years. I need a change.”
And that was that.
All that smoke must have affected my new buddy’s memory because he can’t definitively recall where he came from or how old he is. This is where YOU come in!
If you’ve ever seen a gnome like him lurking about (probably outdoors…I mean, just look at his weathered skin condition!), please let me know! He’s ready to move on with his life and turn over a new leaf, but it’d be a pity for him to completely abandoned his past and all he’s been through.
I mean for godssake, he must have had some tragic stuff go down to end up on the top shelf of a Texas vintage shop!
Please welcome this dude to our home. Dude doesn’t have a name yet, as there is much debate among the elders as to what he should be called. Suggestions welcome!
Tootaloo!
Zookwinkle the traveling gnome
Perhaps you recall my semi-recent article about visiting the world’s largest concrete gnome in Ames, Iowa. As I road-tripped through the Northeastern United States in July, I decided it was only fair to introduce myself to the world’s second largest concrete gnome as well. His name is Gnome Chomsky and he lives at Kelder’s Farm in upstate New York.
Standing at 13-feet, 6-inches tall, Chomsky held the Guinness World Record for “world’s tallest garden gnome” for four years. Since that time, Chomsky has been “out-talled” by 15-foot Elwood in Iowa and a 17-foot, 8 inch fiberglass gnome in Poland. Competition aside, Chomsky was absolutely stunning.
Kelder’s Farm is a 100-acre working farm that sells seasonal fruits and vegetables, runs a mini-golf course, features a petting zoo, and offers educational tours for children. The farm also gives visitors the opportunity to milk a cow, enjoy a hayride, navigate a corn maze, and explore a greenhouse.
Chomsky has become famous on popular travel sites like Roadside America and Atlas Obscura. Believe it or not, Chomsky was born in New York City. Artists Maria Reidelbach, Ken Brown, and John Hutchinson built him while renovating another mini-golf course. That course closed, and in 2006, Chomsky was moved up to Kelder’s Farm in Kerhonkson, New York. “Kerhonkson needed something big and wonderful to draw attention to this beautiful part of Ulster County,” said Reidelbach, “and Kelder’s Farm is such an authentic, welcoming place, I thought a traditional, friendly, roadside colossus would be just the thing.”
After spending some quality time with Chomsky and coercing my boyfriend into taking dozens of photos, I ventured inside the barn to check out the gift shop. You can find everything from gnome t-shirts to postcards and temporary tattoos amongst the produce. Since Chomsky is no longer a world record holder, the clever folks at Kelder’s Farm have started referring to him the the “First World’s Largest Garden Gnome and the “World’s Cutest Gnome.” I must admit, he is considerably cuter than his Midwestern counterpart!
So if you ever find yourself traveling through upstate New York, I would definitely suggest stopping by Kelder’s Farm to visit Gnome Chomsky and play a round of mini-golf. And if you can’t make it out that way, at least you can keep up with him on Facebook. Yes, Chomsky has his own Facebook page!
It’s a little after 2pm on a Thursday afternoon. Where did you go for lunch?
The 9-5 gnomes running around here tend to stuff a turkey and cheese sandwich and a banana into a mini-cooler and schlep it over their shoulder on the way to the train. They shove said sandwich and fruit into their mouths while frantically typing on a glowing box with buttons without missing a beat. Meanwhile, gnomes become disgruntled. Meanwhile, said box becomes utterly disgusting.
Here at The Gnome Abode, we have started a new initiative. It’s called DON’T EAT OVER YOUR COMPUTER, YOU IDIOT!
Here’s how it works:
To commemorate day #1 of this new initiative, we went to Jamaica. I’ll try to make you believe this was REAL Jamaica, but it actually was in Texas….just a short drive from the San Antonio airport.
I stumbled (laptop free) into this little hole-in-the-wall called Jamaica Jamaica. Yes, clever name….I know. There were lots of military humans eating inside because I guess there’s a base nearby and they get a discount.
They played an awesome mix of old and new reggae music and the place had a super-friendly vibe, thanks to all the comments written directly on the wall with marker. We wrote a little something ourselves 🙂
The food knocked my socks off. As an 84% vegetarian, I choose the spiced tofu with rice & beans and plantains. I snapped a pic of my buddy Zookwinkle here next to it! I’d eat that stuff every day if some Jamaican dude served it up to me.
My only complaint is the lack of booze. However, there was huge sign posted about them getting a liquor license soon. Guess I’ll have to come back!
Although we didn’t have to take a boat to get there, Jamaica Jamaica is well worth a detour the size of Texas. I’m looking forward to see where our gnomes travel to next for anti-computer lunch!
xoxo,
Spechelle your favorite lady gnome
While trolling (excuse my French) the Internet this morning, I stumbled upon an article by this really cool writer chick about collecting shot glasses as souvenirs.
It’s no secret that we gnomes love to travel, and NO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT BLASTED TRAVELOCITY GNOME. We were traveling way before his grimy paws took hold of the traveling gnome scene. Thankyouverymuch.
But back to my original point, we love to travel and we love to drink. So collecting shot glasses comes very naturally to us. Here’s a couple of us posing with our favorites:
Whether it’s smoking in Florida, hiking in Zion Canyon, photographing Yosemite, or waving our drunk flag high in Ireland, we like to remember fond travel memories whilst getting plastered. We’ll continue collecting, continue drinking, and continue traveling…simple as that.
So where’s your favorite shot glass from? What’s its story?
That isn’t a rhetorical question!
Pablo the Gnome