Drunk Gnomes Have Blogged 400 Times!

Well jump start my scooter and call me Susie. The blue collar gnomes that work inside the interweb just sent me an exciting memo.

We drunk gnomes blogged a whopping 400 times! That’s 100 four times over. Also known as 20 twenty times over. That’s as much math as my tiny ceramic brain can handle in one sitting, so I hope you get the picture.

gnome shoulder

Since we began infiltrating your daily dose of interweb usage in February 2012, we’ve somehow managed to find 400 unique and enthralling things to write about gnomes. Quite an amazing feat if you really stop to think about it for a moment.

That was’t a rhetorical statement. I’m literally telling you to stop to think for a moment.

Are you thinking?

The moment isn’t over.

Think some more.

 Okay fine, you can stop now. Sheesh, are you really that hungover? Yeah, me too.

sheldonbroken

For the sake of celebration, let’s take a look at some of our favorite posts that come to mind:

Ahhh…memories. Reminisce with me for a moment.

This is when you’re supposed to sigh deeply in response. Do I have to spell out everything for you!?

Whatever, I’ll let it slide this once. It’s Saturday after all.

So I’ll leave you with a toast in poetic form:

400 posts down

400 to go

Drunk gnomes rule

Pip pip cheerio

Cheers,
Jerry, King of All Gnomekind

Hometown Shout Out from the Gnomes of Olney, Illinois :)

We’re simply delighted that our original hometown of Olney, Illinois continues to make headlines with its gnome population!

Check out this awesome shout out from Matt Courter of the Olney Daily Mail:

olneygnomes

“For more than a year, residents living near Vernor Lake have been building a small community of garden gnomes on the west side of Ill. 130, just south of Richland Country Club.

Dr. Don Abel, who lives along the lake, said the project began when he was driving to work. On his way down Ill. 130, he noticed an opening in the base of a tree and thought, “That really needs something in there.” He bought a gnome figurine and placed it in the tree.

Before long, another neighbor had made a “Knomesville” sign and the community began to expand.

Adding a domestic touch to the scene, Abel bought dolls from the Salvation Army, then used their clothes to hang on a small clothesline.

Cathy Fehrenbacher, who lives across the highway from the display, said she and her husband Ed have contributed both pieces and upkeep to the display. Abel said Ed Fehrenbacher serves as the unofficial groundskeeper for the village.

“It just kind of kept growing,” Cathy Fehrenbacher said.

A small pine tree, which Abel described as looking initially like a “Charlie Brown” tree, was also transplanted in the area and has been decorated with bulbs. It will likely be decorated for Christmas, Fehrenbacher said.

From their home’s nearby vantage point, Fehrenbacher said it’s interesting to see people’s reactions when they pass, with some even stopping and having their pictures taken by the village.

“It’s kind of stood on its own,” she said. “It’s a group effort.”

Neighborhood resident Marilyn Hartrich, who with her husband Rick has contributed to the project, also mentioned the attention the area gets from those passing by.

“It’s funny to see all the people stop and look,” she said.

Abel said he gets enjoyment from seeing parents walking their children through the display.

“That just really is what it’s all about,” he said.”

Gnomes Support MOvember with Sexy ‘Staches!

From what I understand, Movember is a human charity that aims to raise awareness (and dollars) about messed up man parts. Dudes grow mustaches and WABAMMM! Man parts be cured!

And just because I’ve never heard of a documented case of gnome testicular cancer or gnome prostate cancer, doesn’t mean our gnome parts are safe. If mustaches can keep us safe too, then I’m all for it.

I hereby declare that we gnomes are jumping on board the Movember bandwagon!

Actually, it wasn’t a difficult bandwagon to jump on since many of us have been sporting mustaches since the beginning of time. Here’s a few of the best ‘staches around the Gnome Abode:

Caesar likes to lick the frothy goodness from his cappuccino off his 'stache. Leftover flavors from last night's dinner make froth even tastier.

Caesar likes to lick the frothy goodness from his cappuccino off his ‘stache. Leftover flavors from last night’s dinner make froth even tastier.

Zombies beware! This gun-wielding gnome just got a little more dangerous with a 'stache and matching satchel.

Zombies beware! This gun-wielding gnome just got a little more dangerous with a ‘stache and matching satchel.

IGetKnockedDown (the turtle) finds Chumbawamba's 'stache irresistible. Sexy facial hair improves dancing balance too!

IGetKnockedDown (the turtle) finds Chumbawamba’s ‘stache irresistible. Well-groomed facial hair improves dancing balance too!

Not all gnomes are capable of growing badass ‘staches, but those who can should rock ’em. Here’s to healthy gnome parts and vibrant upper lip hair!

Peace out,
Leonardo the Gnome

Gamblin’ Gnome: Award-Winning Sculpture Makes Home in Michigan Casino

Our gambling problem isn’t exactly on par with our drinking problem just yet, but influential gnomes like this guy are helping bridge the gap.

There’s a town in Michigan called St. Ignace, there’s a casino in St. Ignace called Kewadin, and there’s a restaurant in Kewadin called Horseshoe Bay.

Are you still with me?

Good.

As I was saying….inside the Horseshoe Bay lives a gnome. But not just any gnome. An AWARD-WINNING gnome!

Casinognome

James W. Denkins created this amazing gnome sculpture called “Edge of the Forest,” which is on display in the restaurant. Before eating himself beyond measurable limits of obesity, “Edge” hung out at the Grand Rapids art show.

According to Denkins, “Edge of the Forrest” is a collaboration of multiple plants and animals all surrounding a forest gnome, who is looking out from the edge of a forest.“It’s a tribute to our fragile ecosystem,” explains Denkins on his artist statement.

Far out, dude. Far out.

The Soo Evening News described “Edge” as a play on how humans are entangled in everything, for better or for worse. Casino manager, Steve Sprecker commented that “Edge” mirrored the rest of the casino decor.

Does this mean there are MORE GAMBLING GNOMES?!

casinocashout

Looks like a trip up north is in order. Stay strong in your fragility Edge. We’re coming for you…and the blackjack…and the all-you-can-eat fried chicken.

Tootaloo,
Humps the Gnome

Photo credit: Kewadin Casino/Soo Evening News

Gnome Website of the Day – GnomeFrenzy.com

GnomeFrenzy.com

Step 1: Go there.

Step 2: Spend some time poking around.

Step 3: Find enlightenment

One of our newest gnome scouts directed us to this website recently and we’ve been enthralled ever since. “Finding good homes for happy gnomes” is their motto and they’re doing pretty damn well at it.

There are plenty of websites lurking around the Interweb soliciting gnome memorabilia. GnomeFrenzy also offers helpful advice for the weary and downtrodden.

gnomefrenzy

Got questions about how to pick out a gnome? They can help. Need to brush up your gnome history. No problem over here! Although the Gnome Gnews is a couple years out of date, it’s still worth a nostalgic browse. (Psst! Hey guys, call us! We read and report on gnome gnews every day!)

One section we found particularly intriguing is the one about Custom Gnomes. One particular project comes to mind – could you guys do a custom Jeep back wheel cover? We’ve got a Gnomemobile with a very cold spare tire.

We’ll be in touch 😉

So anyway, that’s your website recommendation for the day. The Interweb is a confusing place for gnomes these days. Let me be your guide.

Let the Friday madness begin!
Dumblebore the Gnome