Drunk gnomes love good company. And yesterday, we received a sparkling new addition to our family.
This little guy showed up at our doorstep most unexpectedly. I nearly turned the postman away, telling him that I hadn’t ordered any more cases of wine and that I didn’t appreciate solicitation.
Fortunately, some of the more sober gnomes in the house persuaded me to take in the package and begin tearing the cardboard box away.
He seemed a little frazzled as he crawled his way out of the box. You see, he is a vintage 1978 gnome, created in the spirit of Wil Huygen’s legendary book, Gnomes.
We repeatedly asked where he came from, but as a gnome of few words, all he could do was simply gesture at his manufactured labeling.
“Knickerbocker” – read one label.
“Unieboek” – read another.
If you’re unaware, these are big names in the world of gnomes. We quickly realized that we had a full-blown celebrity on our doorstep!
He’s still a little shy and smells a teensy bit like grandma’s attic. But his fashion sense and hygiene is impeccable. You’d never know that the ole’ bastard is 35 years old in human years. That’s 275 in gnome years – and in the prime of his life, as the box kindly points out.
So let’s all take a moment to welcome our newest addition to The Gnome Abode!
Somebody buy this guy a drink!
And somebody give him a name! Sadly, he doesn’t seem to have arrived with his “Hello, My Name Is…” badge intact.
King Jerry the Gnome