We’re Goin’ Turkey Huntin’

 

So who’s up for some late night turkey huntin’ to burn off some of today’s gluttony and prepare for tomorrow’s gluttony?

There may only be two hours of Thanksgiving yet, but I’m making the most of these two hours. Besides, Black Friday shopping is for the chick gnomes. Manly gnomes like me shoot stuff. I’m sure Tabitha will have lots of dumb girl posts about “shop hunting” conquests tomorrow.

Evan Gelical The Gnome hunts with a net. I prefer hitting turkeys over the head with my broom. What do you hunt with?

Muchas gracias for two more hours,
Kamikaze The Gnome

Twenty Things Gnomes Are Thankful For!

  1. Beer
  2. Liquor
  3. Having our own blog
  4. Gnome artists and craft makers
  5. The International Gnome Club Newsletter
  6. Pointy hat storage containers
  7. Our own passports
  8. Breweries
  9. Our faithful gnome scouts
  10. Epoxy and super glue to fix us when we are injured
  11. Beard combs
  12. Step stools
  13. Monkey companions
  14. Joining outdoor adventures
  15. Rock concerts
  16. Wine
  17. Hand lotion
  18. Eggplant
  19. Facebook stalkers
  20. Beer

What are YOU preparing for Thanksgiving dinner?

 

We gnomes are preparing FISH!

Okay, so perhaps turkey is the standard. But can you imagine us wee gnomes trying to cut a turkey! How ridiculous…turkeys are HUGE! Fish are much more manageable.

Shown here is our newly hired ” head fishergnome,” Fips. Fips comes from a long line of fishergnomes and grew up on the coast of Northern Maine. His father, Goebel, was an expert lobster catcher in the early 1900’s and taught him the ropes of nabbing seafood from its natural habitat in mass quantities.

Fips was born in 1970 in Germany. He is the oldest gnome residing in The Gnome Abode and brings a great deal of wisdom to our community. Welcome, Fips…welcome!

He has taught us that the relationship between gnomes and fish goes back many generations. He is also in charge of supplying us with the main course for our dinner tomorrow!

Fishergnomes from around the globe started sending us their very best catch pictures as soon as they heard word about our Thanksgiving Day preparations.

Check these guys out!

While the diet of gnomes generally contains very little meat, many of us make an exception for fish. They’re just so gosh darn delicious!

Personally, I love fishing! As a stoner, the hobby gives me a perfect opportunity to be lazy for long periods of time and stare at things that aren’t moving much.

Hells yeah.

 

 

So, whether you’re preparing your turkey, your fish, or some sort of vegetarian bullshit dish….we wish you the best as you prep your stomachs to be disgusting full and content for the upcoming weekend.

Yours in gnomish thanks,
Sketchy Andy The Gnome

 

Wanna learn a foreign language?

 

Stuck in a rut talking in English all the time? Baffled at how to tackle the daunting task of speaking something else? Not sure where to begin?

Why not start by learning the word “gnome” in every language?! Gotta start somewhere, right? And what could be more useful?

Names for Gnomes in Various Languages

English……………………………………………………….Gnome

Irish……………………………………………………………Gnome

Mexico………………………………………………………..Gnomo

Flemish……………………………………………Kleinmanneken

Dutch ………………………………………………………Kabouter

German …………………………………………Heinzelmannchen

Norwegian…………………………….. Tomte or Nisse

Swedish ………………………….Tomtenisse or Nisse

Danish ………………………………………………………….Nisse

Polish……………………………………….. Gnom

Finnish………………………………………………. Tonttu

Russian …………………….Domovoi Djedoesjka

Serbo …………………………………………………………..Kepec

Croatian……………………………………………………….Patuljak

Bulgarian………………………………………….. Djudje

Czechoslovakian…………………………….. Skritek

Hungarian……………………………………… Mano

I have reached enlightenment because I can say “gnome” in 27 languages.” ~ Paula Abdul

Your friendly neighborhood gnome librarian,
The Quick Brown Fox, The Gnome

Have YOU Made Your Gnomers’ Day (December 1, 2012) Reservations Yet?

 

I know you’ve all already marked your calendars, but just a reminder…..our national holiday, World Gnomers’ Day is quickly approaching!

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1ST, 2012!!!!!!!!!

We just received our tickets today for the 36th Annual Festival of the Gnomes in Joliet, Illinois!

Sent to gnomes from gnomes. Just the way it should be. This world-renown festival will feature a live show, gift shop, craft-making areas, raffles, artwork, music, AND SO MUCH MORE!

We’re so excited that we think you should join us! Tickets may be reserved by calling the park office at 815-724-3760 or e-mailing [email protected].

Not sure what Gnomers’ Day is all about? This special day was created to honor collectors of gnomes. Well, duh. This totally informative article gives some great tips about how to prepare for the upcoming holiday:  

To prepare for December 1st and Gnomers’ Day …

  • Plan to have coffee with other collectors or even friends who are not collectors. How could anyone not enjoy your Gnomes and a special get-together on such a special day?
  • Place Gnomes on your dining tables, and think about moving others around a bit. They like a change of scene, too. Spruce up those needing a gently-wiped face and hands.
  • Send a copy of this write-up to the editors of your local newspapers. They may be willing to mention the day if enticed by the colorful heading!
  • If you have a Gnome-shaped cookie cutter, bake cookies. Bake a cake and decorate it with a Gnome design. Use a Gnome cookie cutter to press the shape onto the cake’s top, then fill in the shape with icings. (A cake pan maker was been asked to consider making a Gnome; no response yet.)
  • If you’ve saved Gnome pictures and cards (like most of us), frame some for year-round pleasure. It doesn’t matter if they have a holiday theme, because Gnomes are never out of season.

Not gonna be around Joliet, Illinois on December 1st? No sweat! There’s plenty of other options for you to celebrate with us in spirit! Here’s a few suggestions:

Get ready, get set, and go celebrate us!
Speak No Gnome, The Gnome