Wondering what to buy that person who has everything for Christmas this year?

A University of Leicester academic has suggested one of history’s most bizarre garden accessories: an ‘ornamental’ hermit.

Professor Gordon Campbell says that ornamental hermits can help you manage your winter blues. And you’d be in good company doing so.” The wealthy 18th century landowners who indulged in the practice would ‘outsource’ their melancholy while enjoying life to the full,” he explained.

This guy investigated the little known history of ornamental hermits and wrote “The Hermit in the Garden: From Imperial Rome to Garden Gnome.”

Sometimes these hermits (i.e. gnomes) were imaginary and sometimes they were REAL! “Hermits were often hired for seven years, required to refrain from cutting their hair or washing and had to live austerely. They could receive up to £600 in return, enough to never work again.”

So what’s this all mean for Christmas, you ask? Well you ask, and I answer.

“It meant that the busy CEO could outsource his melancholy, contemplative side, embodying it in a hermit for hire,” Campbell said. “The ideal of living frugally did not therefore inhibit the good life. It’s a bit like bankers carving turkeys for the homeless on Christmas Day.”

We drunk gnomes are a little suspicious of these ornamental hermits, but it’s certainly an interesting concept to ponder while gazing out the window on a rainy day.

Holiday cheer with a beer,
Kamikaze the gnome

Over here at TheDrunkGnome, we love learning about new gnome-themed books from gnome-loving authors.

Cue Jo Hall, author of a new gnome-themed childrens’ book, “JoJo Gnome and the Smell of Christmas.” Apparently, JoJo lives in a rainy Scottish garden.

Here’s a lil’ blurb about the book:

It’s Christmas time but Grandpa Gnome has a cold. JoJo Gnome tries to help Grandpa enjoy all the wonderful holiday smells. Will Grandpa be able to enjoy the smell of Christmas?
JoJo Gnome and the Smell of Christmas is the second book in the series of books about this cheeky fun little character. JoJo and his friends will appeal to the early years audience. The bright and colourful illustrations will attract younger children, parents and teachers alike. Follow this funny creature through his exiting adventures in a Scottish garden and beyond. The perfect seasonal bedtime story to snuggle up with together and enjoy. Especially suited for younger children age 2-6 years old.

The book’s author and illustrator first introduced the world to this little gnome with an introductory ebook, Meet JoJo Gnome and a follow up JoJo Gnome and the Sound Machine.

The book is targeted at kids between the ages of 3 and 6. But we’re not ashamed. We’ll read anything with the word “gnome” in the title. Expect a book review coming your way in the near future.

Santa Claus may be a gnome impostor, but at least gnomes are making a hearty appearance in Christmas stories this holiday season.

Yours truly,
The Quick Brown Fox the gnome