About Rubber

My name’s Rubber, cuz I’m made of rubber. Whatever. I’m the daredevil of the gnomish community because I can bounce. What you got?IMG_0603[1]

A Gnome’s Visit to the Chicago Distilling Company…in Pictures

If you want to read a legit review of the Chicago Distilling Company, head over to our buddy’s blog, www.alyssavnature.com. We gnomes tagged along for the adventure, but as you can expect, we were too tipsy to take any notes or remember anything that the tour guide said.

I think it’s safe to assume that the whiskey and vodka were delicious.

Without further ado, I present you with A Gnome’s Visit to the Chicago Distilling Company…in Pictures:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThank goodness for photographic evidence, right? Ahhh virtual memories.

Cheers gnomies, and happy thirsty Thursday!
Rubber the “drunker-than-most-gnomes” Gnome

Sneak Peak: A Visit to New York’s Gnome Chomsky

Seasons greetings!

Perhaps you read one of our articles awhile back about visiting the world’s largest concrete gnome in Ames, Iowa. Well, here at The Drunk Gnome, we like to pay our respects to first runner ups as well.

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I, Rubber, got to visit the SECOND largest concrete gnome in the world!!!

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Our writing team (who writes real good n’ stuff) is preparing a fancy-schmancy article to publish in the International Gnome Club newsletter. But you know what? They’re slow as shit, and I can’t wait any longer to share our pictures with you!

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His name is Gnome Chomsky and he lives at Kelder’s Farms in upstate New York. He’s 13 feet and 6 inches tall, which is a hell of a lot bigger than I am.

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I think those writer gnomes are gonna do a little bit on the gift shop and the mini golf course too. I express myself better in pictures, so hopefully they don’t get all pissy on me for spoiling their thunder.

Wait. Does thunder really go bad?

Blah-idy blah blah,
Rubber the photojournalist gnome

Still Riding the Blueberry Wave…

We gnomes haven’t stopped drinking blueberry beer since we first started chattering about it.

In honor of yet another day that ends in “y,” I invited a pink monkey out on a blueberry-themed date. Her name is Ginger, and even though she’s pink, she still loves all things blue…including my stylish blue hat.

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On the romantic dinner menu tonight: Sea Dog Wild Blueberry Wheat Ale and homemade blueberry pie a la mode.

Mama Gnome always said, the way to a pink monkey’s heart is through her stomach. Her very rotund stomach, full of beans. Wish me luck!

Sincerely,
Rubber the finally-dating-again gnome

A Gnome’s Obsession With Blueberry Beer

In case you weren’t aware, berries are one of the primary food sources for gnomes. As long as they’re not the poisonous ones, we’re all about blackberries, strawberries, cherries, and gooseberries. However, my personal favorite has always been the blueberry.

In case you’ve been living in a hole, you’ve noticed that Zookwinkle and I have been traveling throughout the Northeastern United States, which is a mecca for blueberries. Especially in the state of Maine, blueberries are in everything! Pies, candles, ice cream…and even beer!

Here’s a few of my very favorite blueberry beers that I’ve discovered during my drunk travels:

1. Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Ale (Maine)

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2. Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale (Maine)

3. Moat Mountain Violet B’s Blueberry (New Hampshire)

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4. Portsmouth Bluebeery Ale (New Hampshire)

5. Newport Storm Blueberry (Rhode Island)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADo you guys know of any other blueberry beers? These are the ones I’ve been drinking lately, but surely there are more! Feed a gnome’s fruity-boozy obsession, will ya?!

xoxo,
Rubber the Gnome

 

Gnome Sighting in Woodstock, New Hampshire!

There’s a magical place in the hidden town of Woodstock, Hampshire that brews delicious beer. My little gnome nose always directs me to places just like this.

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Humans climb the walls just to get inside. Fortunately, the oldness of the building lets us wee ones slip through the cracks and up to the bar.

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As I stumbled back to my horse-drawn carriage after more than my rationed share off Pig’s Ear Brown Ale. The Woodstock Brewery is pretty much a town in and of itself, so it took awhile to find my way out of it. There’s an inn, a restaurant, a downstairs pub, and lots of tiny rooms that surely shady shit is going down in.

I thought I was hallucinating at first, but I saw two gnomes nearly side by side across the street. The first sighting was a tattoo parlor called Millennium Tattoo, which has been around since ’92.

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Perhaps it’s a wizard in disguise, but whatever…I think it’s a gnome and I’m sticking to it. Stayed tuned for further investigation into gnome tattoos!

Next, I spotted a gnome within an array of miscellaneous garden ornaments at the store next door, called Sunburst.

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The store looked pretty rad, but I was smoking a cigar at the time so they wouldn’t let me in.

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Anyhoo, it’s feels good to keep seeing gnomes living around the Northeast. And believe it or not, they’re not all prepsters out here either. White trash is white trash is white trash, no matter what the zip code. Needless to say, this little rubber gnome fits right in 🙂

‘Til next time,
Rubber the stinkin’ drinkin’ gnome