Gnome Doctor Replaces Dr. A. Chu?

OMG watch this video – we have found salvation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tabitha and Alfredo need fixing….can we book an appointment with you, doc? 

Rock City Gardens’ Gnome doctor takes care of their iconic little people 

By Susan Pierce

Monday, March 11, 2013

“Behind the pristine grounds of Rock City Gardens, nestled between the Lookout Mountain tourist attraction’s storage units and rock outcroppings, is a nondescript brick building with paint-smeared concrete-slab floor.

Only the purposeful stride of a four-foot gnome airbrushed on the metal door gives any indication of the workspace’s importance.

Inside, a ring of gnarled gnomes in all sizes sit along the ceiling’s exposed beams. Their feet dangle above a large table where a pint-sized patient with multiple fractures waits for treatment.

gnome docThis is the studio of Matthew Dutton. It’s nicknamed the “Gnome Infirmary,” and the doctor is in.

The tiny gnome’s abrasions will be cleaned and his broken arm and leg stabilized with metal rods, much like an orthopedist would use. After his fractures are closed with epoxy putty, the patient will get a good sanding, have a new coat of paint prescribed, and be sent out looking much younger than his 60 years.

Dutton is the art specialist at Rock City Gardens. His job is to repair and rehab the old-world garden gnomes that frolic along the attraction’s paths and in Fairyland Caverns. The sculptor, who has worked at Rock City for three years, has also added more than a dozen of his own gnome creations to the little people population.

Additionally, Dutton and a team set the stage for Rock City’s special events. For this weekend’s Shamrock City, the crew built a four-foot shamrock to welcome visitors, painted photo-op props and dressed Rock City’s performance area with ceiling banners.

“Every day I deal with something completely different. It’s the most fun to me when I get to create something from nothing, when I get to use my imagination,” says Dutton.

Begun by Garnet and Frieda Carter, Rock City capitalizes on Chattanooga’s natural beauty with its trail winding among unusual rock formations leading to Lover’s Leap scenic overlook. Frieda Carter collected wildflowers and other plants that she transplanted into her big rock garden, according to Rock City records. She also imported German-made statues of gnomes and famous fairytale characters that she placed throughout the gardens.

These old-world European gnomes are made of plaster, which Dutton points out, is water-soluble. So, over time, weather conditions take their toll.gnome doc2

“They are hollow, very heavy and very brittle. Moisture softens them up. They’ll become pitted. Eventually arms fall off and they look like little zombie gnomes,” he jokes.

After graduating from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with a bachelor’s of fine art degree in sculpting, Dutton worked as a studio assistant for a who’s who of Chattanooga artists: Terry Cannon, John Petrey, Jan Chenoweth and Roger Halligan.

The diversity of skill sets he built with them helped land the gnome doctor job.

“His interest and knowledge with casting is one of the things that made him stand out when he was hired,” says Kim Jackson, special events coordinator for Rock City Gardens. “It continues to be a wonderful asset as he learns new techniques and works to bring gnomes and fairytale characters back to life.”

As Dutton doctors a gnome, he takes pictures of each step in the process so he can repaint the gnome to match its original design and also to create a easy-to-follow reference guide for future repairs. He’s learned firsthand the importance of photo documentation, having recreated more than one gnome scene on the grounds working from photos.

“I work from old postcards and snapshots to see how a gnome originally looked. There are tons of old-timey postcards I’ve found,” he explains. “So sometimes I’ll find a gnome that I’ve seen on a postcard and find what colors he was. My goal is to keep it looking as it originally was. I don’t want to change, I want to preserve.

“Photos are all I have to go by. If I know a particular guy (gnome) was in this scene in these colors, I try to put him back that way. I clean him up, fill him with expanding foam so it creates a core and (when possible) put steel rods inside him to give him some strength so he can’t just break off.

“Then I’ll join everything with urethane resin or epoxy putty, sand it to get the flaking paint off, prime him with an oil-based primer and paint the original colors.”

Jeff Raabe, director of operations for Rock City Gardens, says Dutton’s skills are critical to keeping the magical atmosphere at the attraction.

“Matt’s skills allow Rock City to not only offer our guests a beautiful place, but a fun place as well,” Raabe says.

Even when not rehabbing gnomes, Dutton still dabbles in a world of fantasy people.

His personal creations, known as Phigments, are a surreal combination of cherub faces on animal bodies. He will be showing this collection at the 4 Bridges Arts Festival in First Tennessee Pavilion on April 12-14.”

Photo credit: Connor Choate via Times Free Press

Cupcakes and Cannibalism

 

The sheer fact that there are a crap ton of gnomes in the world makes it likely that every day is some gnome’s birthday. So tell me…which of you buggas has a birthday today?

It’s not me…I’m just trying to find an excuse to celebrate and drink all day 🙂

What do gnomes want for their birthdays? Well I’ll tell you one thing they DON’T want….a stinkin’ human-made birthday cake! Gnomes are much more creative with their birthday treats. Why not make these cupcakes for your buddy down the street instead?

Gnome cupcake

And no, it’s not cannibalism. I already cleared it with our spiritual leader, EvanGelical the Gnome. He confirmed that if a gnome is made of artificial sugar, then he is okay to eat. More on gnomish cannibalism in a future post….hooray!

I am concerned, however, that this little guy’s right foot is detached. The deformed must be eaten…these are the ways of our ancestors! Ahem.

I mean, uh, happy birthday to someone!
Pablo the Gnome

A Tutorial in Gnome Sewing!

Hey kiddos!

Gramma Lurlene here ready to wow your socks off with a brand new cross stitch pattern!

I know it’s the most exciting thing you could have expected for your Thursday, but hold on to your hats ’cause we’re not out of the woods yet! I love sewing in the woods…how ’bout you?

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At first glance, you might be like, “oh that’s just a monkey.” Touché! This is not JUST a monkey. It’s a monkey wearing a gnome cross stitch bib!

Can you even believe what you’re seeing?!?

Once you’ve caught your breath, check out Material Evidence’s Etsy site. They stitched the pattern on a iPhone case, but you can stitch it on whatever you like.

As if this GNOME pattern wasn’t amazing enough, it’s also FREE! How many other free things have people sent to you today? Probably none. You’re welcome very much!

Don’t know how to cross stitch? No problem! It’s one of the easiest sewing crafts to master and it requires very few materials. Check out a this video posted by one of my best human friends for a quick tutorial.

Happy stitching!

Your drunk gramma,
Lurleen The Gnome

A Gnome Poem About Peas

 

It’s National Gnome Poem Day! Did anyone else know that?!

Doubtful, because I just made it up! Why did I make up this awesome holiday, you ask?

Because many gnomes around The Abode have lost their romanticism. Sure, we celebrated Valentine’s Day and all, but what’s supposed to happen when the flowers dies and the chocolates go stale?

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Poems happen. And that’s because poems live forever.

And with that, I will read my latest one aloud (via text) to you!

I eat my peas with honey;

I’ve done it all my life.

It makes the peas taste funny,

But it keeps them on the knife!

Keeping the love alive, one masterpiece at a time.

Tootaloo!
The Quick Brown Fox the Gnome

NEW CONTEST! Guess What This Artistic Masterpiece Is!

 

Correctly guess what my artistic masterpieces is, and you could be the lucky recipient of my next artistic masterpiece!

I’m an aspiring artist, but some gnomes say my work is pretty crappy. I tell them, if you want to see really crappy art you should check out Free Crappy Portraits because my stuff is WAY better than than anything in there.

But those gnomes don’t listen. Therefore, I’ve created a new contest! The first human or gnome to correctly guess what this mixed medium creation really is, WIN!

What do you win, you ask? My next work of art will be inspired by you, created in your true likeness, and sent to you as a gift! What could be better than that? Narcissist.

Without further ado, what is this?

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A. Turkey

B. Flamingo

C. Gnome

D. Hot chick

Best of luck to you all!

Smooches and slobbers,
Horace The Gnome