Halloween Wine: A Lady Gnome Review

Perhaps you think all we gnomes drink is beer. Then perhaps you’d be mistaken. Some of us lady gnomes consume a steady diet of wine each day…it helps restore balance to our skin tones.

Like many lady gnomes, I’m a sucker for pretty labels. While buying ingredients to make my boyfriend a pumpkin pie, I came across this bright orange bottle. (That’s my bf in the picture. He’s a firegnome. How HOTTT is that?!)

photo (3)I know it’s only the 11th of October, but I’m getting super excited for Halloween. And how freaking festive is this bottle of deliciousness?!

“Halloween” is made by a local place called Illinois River Winery in Utica, IL. It’s right near Starved Rock state park….I love that place!

Anyway this is an apple and pumpkin wine that’s spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg. And it tasted like exactly that. After my man and I devoured the bottle in a couple swift sips, I noticed a suggestion that it’s best served warm.

Whoops! Guess I’d better pick up another bottle to try it heated up a bit!

Halloween wine is 10.5% alcohol, so it got me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside without the old-age headache the next day. It’s more sweet than tart and more fruity than dry.

I recommend it! And I’ve also added this winery to my list of places to drink at. It has a tasting room open every day – $3 for 6 tastes!

So my fellow gnomies, what fall festive drinks do YOU plan to throw back this weekend?

Happy Friday, my loves!

xoxo,
Roxy the Gnome

Gnome Beer Week! September 18th – 21st!

Are you as pumped for Gnome Week as we are?! It’s September 18th – 21st, so get ready!

Gnome week

 

It’s sponsored by our favorite brewery of all time, La Chouffe. There’s a list of gnome-friendly bars that are participating….check it out!
https://www.facebook.com/LaChouffe.beer/app_182734511849182

We gnomes will be in Texas during this time and we’re mad as hell that there are no participating bars in the Lone Star State. C’mon cowboys, pick up the slack!

This is very exciting news for us over here and we’re getting too frantic to type straight.

Gnome beer!

Friday!

Woot!

xoxo,
Dumblebore the Gnome

A Gnome’s Obsession With Blueberry Beer

In case you weren’t aware, berries are one of the primary food sources for gnomes. As long as they’re not the poisonous ones, we’re all about blackberries, strawberries, cherries, and gooseberries. However, my personal favorite has always been the blueberry.

In case you’ve been living in a hole, you’ve noticed that Zookwinkle and I have been traveling throughout the Northeastern United States, which is a mecca for blueberries. Especially in the state of Maine, blueberries are in everything! Pies, candles, ice cream…and even beer!

Here’s a few of my very favorite blueberry beers that I’ve discovered during my drunk travels:

1. Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Ale (Maine)

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2. Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale (Maine)

3. Moat Mountain Violet B’s Blueberry (New Hampshire)

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4. Portsmouth Bluebeery Ale (New Hampshire)

5. Newport Storm Blueberry (Rhode Island)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADo you guys know of any other blueberry beers? These are the ones I’ve been drinking lately, but surely there are more! Feed a gnome’s fruity-boozy obsession, will ya?!

xoxo,
Rubber the Gnome

 

Gnome Sighting in Woodstock, New Hampshire!

There’s a magical place in the hidden town of Woodstock, Hampshire that brews delicious beer. My little gnome nose always directs me to places just like this.

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Humans climb the walls just to get inside. Fortunately, the oldness of the building lets us wee ones slip through the cracks and up to the bar.

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As I stumbled back to my horse-drawn carriage after more than my rationed share off Pig’s Ear Brown Ale. The Woodstock Brewery is pretty much a town in and of itself, so it took awhile to find my way out of it. There’s an inn, a restaurant, a downstairs pub, and lots of tiny rooms that surely shady shit is going down in.

I thought I was hallucinating at first, but I saw two gnomes nearly side by side across the street. The first sighting was a tattoo parlor called Millennium Tattoo, which has been around since ’92.

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Perhaps it’s a wizard in disguise, but whatever…I think it’s a gnome and I’m sticking to it. Stayed tuned for further investigation into gnome tattoos!

Next, I spotted a gnome within an array of miscellaneous garden ornaments at the store next door, called Sunburst.

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The store looked pretty rad, but I was smoking a cigar at the time so they wouldn’t let me in.

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Anyhoo, it’s feels good to keep seeing gnomes living around the Northeast. And believe it or not, they’re not all prepsters out here either. White trash is white trash is white trash, no matter what the zip code. Needless to say, this little rubber gnome fits right in 🙂

‘Til next time,
Rubber the stinkin’ drinkin’ gnome

Post-Climbing Brews at Moat Mountain – New Hampshire

Howdy folks, your favorite travel gnome here! You might have seen my buddy Rubber’s recent post about going rock climbing in New Hampshire.

Well we climbed alright, and climbing is really difficult for gnomes. Our legs are short, our arms are weak, and our bellies are somewhat large. For you humans, rock climbing might involve going several feet into the air. For gnomes, we’re generally satisfied with climbing a couple of inches. I mean seriously…some of us are barely a couple inches tall in the first place!

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No matter who you are though, climbing makes you thirsty. And nothing quenches post-climbing thirst quite like beer. There’s also nothing that feels better than wrapping your sore, tired hands around a frosty pint glass filled with hoppy goodness.

We celebrated this particular survival on the rocks at Moat Mountain Brewery in North Conway, New Hampshire. I never saw a moat, but I did see a mountain. Therefore, I gave the brewery a 50/50 chance of impressing me.

The place is in a big yellow house with shit for signage, so I actually passed by it and nearly flipped my gnome jeep trying to get in the parking lot. Things got a little better once I learned they do $5 samplers.

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Violet’s Blueberry was definitely my favorite beer of the bunch. It had a yummy smell that reminded me of blueberry muffins. Unlike other fruity beers, it wasn’t over-carbonated either.

I didn’t have many thoughts flowing through my little gnome brain as I drank the Iron Mike Pale Ale or the Czech Pilsner. The Bone Shaker Brown pleasantly surprised me though. It had a roasted, nutty taste, a translucent color, and a full-bodied taste without any annoying bitterness. The Square Tail Stout was quite nice too with its roasted flavor.

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I watched some soccer on the flat screen TV even though I don’t understand why that ball is so worthy of running after.

To top off my drinking day, Rubber and I split a 16 oz Belgian Triple, which was so sweet that a couple of my precious gnome teeth rotted out right then and there.

My expert recommendation? Stop in for a Violet’s Blueberry 22 oz bomber to-go and hike around the mountains ’til a moat magically appears in a drunken hallucination.

Cheers!
Zookwinkle the drinking/traveling gnome