“How I Met Your Mother” Star Buys Gnome Rug

We aren’t exactly into the tabloid scene, but one particular headline caught our attention today.

Alyson Hannigan, star of that CBS prime time show that just WON’T GO AWAY was spotted buying a gnome rug. And just when you Buffy fans were starting to lose hope in humanity.

The poor 39-year old (wow, 39…really?) actress was ambushed by paparazzi on Tuesday buying shit at Paper Source in L.A. Among said shit was a holiday doormat that read “There’s no place like gnome.”

True dat, Alyson. True dat.

Alyson

Turn that gnome mat around, girl, and let us see the goods!

Apparently, she was so overtaken with excitement over her new gnome mat that she forgot her sunglasses in the store and had to go back in to get them. Life’s rough, right?

A big deal was also made about an altercation with a parking meter. I feel ya, girl. Those things are whack.

It’s always nice to see the rich and famous supporting gnome causes in the name of holiday consumerism. Have you seen any celebrities with gnomes lately? Please share! Our voyeuristic inferiority complex thanks you in advance.

Your Celebrity Gnews Contributor,
Roxy

Photo credit: Daily Mail/Splash

Dallas Yard Art Goes Where No Gnome Dares to Go

A seemingly-offensive headline caught my attention today as I made my way through the Interweb. It read, “Your Garden Gnome Sucks – – The Yard Art of Little Forest Hills.”

“Ex-cuuuuuse me?” I asked myself in a nonverbal manner.

Despite my better judgment, I clicked on the Dallas Observer article to get my blood pumping.

Apparently, there’s a quirky neighborhood down there called Little Forest Hills, and their motto is “Keep Little Forest Hills Funky.” Although I can’t spot any gnomes in the vicinity, this neighborhood does take its yard art seriously. Here’s a couple of our favorites, and mad props to Allison Perkins for the snapshots:

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Perhaps we’re aren’t doing anything as clever as these installations, but still…we most certainly do not suck. It’s simply an unfair comparison. Yet, we want to be a part of whatever the hell is it you’re doing here.

So cheers to yard art around the world!
Our ears are perked and our toes are curled
Great and small,
Come one, come all!
To celebrate the wackiness of grass!

^You see what I did right there? That right there’s a real, live poem.^

Signing off,
X’smores the Gnome

A Shout Out to All Gnome Veterans

Gnomes tend to be lovers, not fighters. But sometimes, we are called on to defend ourselves and the liberties of all gnomekind. We may be small, but we know how to kick you in the shin and give you a hearty dose of name-calling.

So here’s a shout out to all gnome veterans who have proudly served The Gnome Abode in times of peace, war, and drunken stupors.

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These brave dude and lady gnomes have carried heavy ceramic guns, even when their weary, miniature arms would rather be double-fisting bottles of rum.

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These righteous soldier gnomes have worn camouflage even when it looks terrible with their skin tones.

And these hardcore badasses have kept our fortresses full of liquor, no matter what the cost.

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So here’s to you, gnome soldiers! May you continue to fight so we can drink!

We salute you. Cheers!

Your Majesty,
King Jerry the Gnome

Today’s edition of: GNOME, OR NO GNOME?

Gnome?

Or no gnome?

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This confused little being was discovered at Cranberry’s Antiques in Blanco, Texas. She kinda looks like a gnome, but then again, she could be an elf or a human toddler wearing a floppy hat.

You don’t see many gnome kids around in public, so the task of “gnome identification” becomes harder than usual. She also lives in an antique store, so perhaps people from decades ago saw gnomes a bit differently.

So the choice is up to you. You be the judge.

Gnome or no gnome?

2014 Gnome Calendars for Sale!

Don’t become weary with the passing of each month! Think of the 1st as a new beginning to a whole new bunch of adventurous days. Staying optimistic in the winter can be hard…gnomes to the rescue!

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Jean is a kind and lovely gnome caretaker and a personal friend of ours! Her Gnome Man’s Land is located in Santa Rosa, California and she’ll probably even give you a tour if you’re really, really nice!

If you’d like a gnome calendar of your very own, to scribble all of your gnomes’ birthdays on or whatnot, get in touch with her. Jean’s email is [email protected].

Yours truly,
Pablo the Gnome