Why You Shouldn’t Steal Gnomes in New Zealand


The po-po charge you $250…even if you’re just stealing one of us for your mum.

Student stole gnome for mum
Last updated 07:34 22/03/2013
A Palmerston North student has been fined after stealing a garden gnome from a woman’s property on
his way home from a night out drinking.
Police found Christopher William Field, 18, in possession of the gnome, which he said he’d taken for his
“You keep to the footpath on the way home,” Judge Gregory Ross told him in the Palmerston North
District Court yesterday.
On a charge of theft, Field was fined $250.
– © Fairfax NZ News


Consider yourselves forewarned.

King Jerry of the Gnomes

There are 13,289 gnome items on Etsy!


Although we gnomes haven’t yet gotten crafty enough to have our OWN Etsy site, we still enjoy looking the pages of others. Today I simply searched for “gnome.”

There are 13,289 gnome items on Etsy! 

OVERLOAD! I don’t even know whereto start shopping!

Take a lazy Saturday browse through the first couple thousand. What’s your favorite homemade or vintage gnome item for sale?

Going broke one swipe at a time,
DoorsOpenOnTheLeftAtClarkAndLake the Gnome

Toadstools and Technology! – Gnome Literature Series


Happy Friday, gnome fans!

Before you get drunk and more stupid than you usually are, allow me to school you for just one brief moment. Today’s “Gnome Literature Series” focuses on two things that have nothing in common besides alliteration….toadstools and technology.

Exhibit A:

photo (15)

The Cliff’s Notes

  • Gnomes use toadstools for seats, umbrellas, houses, and photocopies.
  • Gnomes compensate toadstools by keeping them clean and sharing food with them.
  • It is still a mystery whether gnomes choose to reside near toadstools or whether toadstools just naturally grown near gnomes.

Exhibit B:

photo (16)

The Cliff’s Notes

  • Gnomes hate MP3 players (do humans even still use these?), laptops, and electric can openers. 
  • Gnomes approve the use of automatic pointy hat starchers, which are powered by natural streams or magic, or batteries.

Okay, you’re less dumb now. Go drink yourself stupid.

The Quick Brown Fox

Learn how to make gnome cupcakes!


Wanna learn how to make these delicious-looking cupcakes?

gnome cupcakes

How could you resist sugar-coated cannibalism?! If you have Bugles chips, Chocorooms chocolates, and Hershey’s chocolate bells….these can be on your kitchen table in no time!

Step-by-step instructions on how to bring these gnomecakes to life are in SugarSwing’s blog.

Happy sugar highs!
ChumbaWambaIGetKnockedDown the Gnome

Let’s All Go to Tuscon on Saturday!


AHH! Tuscon has a Gnome Fest?! How did we just hear about this now?!

festQUICK! Everyone book a flight to Arizona STAT!

They’re trying to set the Guinness World Record of largest number of people dressed as garden gnomes. What an awesome record!

At least 479 people need to dress up this Saturday at the 2nd Annual Tucson Gnome Fest. The current record holder is the UK (damn those Brits) with 478 people dressed up as gnomes at the Foyer of Malvern Theaters in Worcester.

gnome festvanWorcester….isn’t that a sauce? And that record was set back in 2011. It’s time for America to step up and dress up like gnomes. Shiiiiiit….

There’s supposed to be a beard competition (ya’ll goin’ down), food trucks (yum), drawing contests (ya’ll goin’ down again), and lots of other awesomeness.

If you dress up, you also have a chance to win a big ass TV or electric guitar. We need those things in The Gnome Abode!Gnomefest

A whole bunch of bands are playing too so check out the lineup on the Metro Gnome Music page.

If you can’t find your old gnome costume in the back of your closet, they’ll sell you a hat for 5 bucks. Don’t worry….2 of those bucks go to the Humane Society….because gnomes are cool like that.

This article is how we found out about the event!

Kamikaze the South-Bound Gnome

Photo credit: Metro Gnome Music