Gnomes as Symbols of Polish Anti-Communism Protest!?!

The Orange Alternative is an underground anarchic movement, which was started in 1981 in Wroclaw, located in southwest Poland. Why are we gnomes interested in Polish politics? Well, they’re associating our likeness with a symbol of Polish opposition against communism. 

Fun!

The group’s purpose was has been to conduct peaceful protest by using absurd and nonsensical elements. By all accounts, these “nonsensical elements” have been described as dwarfs – which we’re fine with because frankly, dwarfs really don’t make any sense.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

But one recent news story caught our attention because the city of Wroclaw began using GNOMES as a promotional symbol. According to Polskie Radio, “The city has been banned from using the (gnome) symbol as any further part of its promotional activities, and it must apologies to 61-year-old ‘Major’ Waldemar Fydrych, founder of the so-called Orange Alternative.”

Apparently, the city used the symbol of a gnome (vaguely resembling a controversial dwarf) on promotional t-shirts, mugs, and even in a campaign film to become the 2016 European City of Culture. Polish gnomes are so sophisticated!

Clearly, these folks are not gnome experts because in actuality, we have very little in common with the common dwarf. Regardless, humans mix us up all the time, and this particular human decided to cause a ruckus.

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Fydrych’s Orange Alternative was launched back in 1980 and became popular after the Solidarity Movement was banned. If you ask me, it was the protesters dressed as orange dwarfs (a.k.a. gnomes), mocking the regime through absurd humor and slogans like “Dwarf for President! and “Only dwarfs can save the country!”

So as for the most recent usage of orange gnomes, the Orange Alternative wins and the city of Wroclaw loses. “This case drew a lot of attention, because the town hall is after all an institution of public trust,” Fydrych said. “I hope that there will now be a change in the way people think about copyright law, and how it should be respected.”

And that, my friends, is your Polish gnome news update for the day. Consider yourselves enlightened. You’re welcome.

As reported by,
Cowabunga the Gnome

Humans Assumed Responsible for Even More Missing Gnomes in Australia

Why do you humans keep disrupting our lives? WHY?!

Are you sick and tired of reading “missing gnome” posts on our blog? Well we’re tired of going missing! Ever think about that? Hmm?

We know we’re adorable. We know we made a good stiff drink. However, there has yet to be even a single documented case of human kidnapping at the hands of gnomes. We only ask that you return the simple favor.

A hand-carved wooden gnome went missing just 17 days after it was placed at Gnomesville, a popular tourist destination in Ferguson Valley. This is in Australia for those of you who are geographically challenged.

gnomesville

Gnomesville has thousands of gnomes who have left their gardens to be a part of something bigger…something magnificent. Legend has it that a long, long time ago, a Gnome was travelling on an Australian country road. It was at night and far from anywhere. All around was leafy and green. A pleasant place. He stayed a while. And another while. Other Gnomes passed and visited, and many stayed. Word passed around.

Anyway, back to the atrocity.

A dude hand-carved a wood spirit gnome for Gnomeville visitors to admire and enjoy. Then some asshole snatched him. WTF mate?!

woodspirit

“The piece of jarrah wood is about one metre long so wouldn’t have been easy to move,” wrote the carver’s daughter, Clair Bedford. “I can only hope that the thief or thieves are able to see sense and return him to his rightful place, under cover of darkness if necessary.”

Have you seen this carving in some jerk’s backyard? If so, contact the Bunbury Newspaper at [email protected]. This madness has gone on long enough. For the most part, you all get to choose where you want to live. Let us choose our gnome homes too.

Or else.

Signed,
Humps the Bouncer Gnome

33 Gnomes Found in Van and Seized by Police

Leave it to the UK to crank out awesome headlines like “Gnomes in police custody after night-time adventure.”

Apparently, someone was driving around the Banff area with 33 gnomes and some other miscellaneous lawn ornaments in the back of a van. The driver was pulled over (for some reason?) and the gnomes were identified as those belonging to residents of the Aberdeenshire area.

What a joyride!

Scotland’s favorite schoolboy, Oor Wullie, was joyriding along with the renegade gnomes as well. A schoolboy….what fun! The gnomes are believed to have been taken from local residences between Wednesday and Thursday this week.

van

If you’re missing a gnome or know someone who is, The Courier newspaper may be able to get you reconnected. Send an email over to [email protected]. The police could probably use a little help reuniting gnomes with gnome owners too, if you could lend a helping hand.

Keep in mind, this is BREAKING NEWS and we don’t have the full details of the story yet.

  • Who IS the driver of the van?
  • What IS his/her connection to the gnome community?
  • Where were they all going on that joyride?
  • Were the gnomes kidnapped or did they leave their homes willingly?

You’d better bet our gnome sleuths are on the case. Tip us off if you hear anything!

Sincerely,
Lieutenant SpeakNoGnome, the Gnome

The Louisville, Kentucky Gnome Giving Away CASH!

Stop whatever it is you’re doing and follow The Louisville Gnome on Twitter.

Ugh another dumb gnome site?! I hear what you’re thinking. I’m telepathic like that.

“Everyday, accompanied by a friendly gnome, money will be posted around Louisville. Followed by a Picture and a Hint. Please spend the money wisely,” so says this mysterious gnome who has emerged on the scene.

louisville2

The gnome game began in early February. And it is shrouded in mystery. SHROUDED, I TELL YOU! The gnome hider’s true identity remains a well-guarded secret.

The gnome hider apparently got some inheritance from his grandpa and promised to do something unique with the money. “I kind of, I really wanted to give back to the community,” the gnome hider told WHAS11 News. “As cliché as that sounds, that’s like, exactly what I really wanted to do.”

But these hidden gnomes are about more than just finding money…it’s about the fun gnome-seekers have looking for them. “I would really like them to pass it on to someone else that really needs it” the gnome hider said. “That was kind of my main goal. I mean, honestly, it’s their choice.”

louisville1

All we know right now is that the mysterious gnome hider is young and that he works for a charity called Free the Children. Not even joking…I was traveling through Louisville just yesterday and frantically checking my Twitter feed for location updates. Sadly, there were none and I returned home gnomeless.

But maybe you’ll be the lucky one! I’ve seen pictures of people posing with 20s and 50s…but who knows how big the gnome bills can go!

Good luck!

XOXO
Trixie the Gnome

Michigan’s Rustic Gnome Helps You Brew Your Own Booze!

Some gnomes drink drinks and some gnomes make drinks…from scratch. I am of the former persuasion. Shocking, I know. But I’m lazy. And you probably guessed that too.

I recently became acquainted with a human named Craig Corey, who owns Rustic Gnome in Adrian. He’s been making his own wine for over 20 years and later started making home-brewed beer too. Now, Craig has opened up a new shop so you can make your own booze too…and it’s called Rustic Gnome. Oh and it’s in Michigan.

Telegram photo by Linda Campbell lenconnect_com

Telegram photo by Linda Campbell lenconnect_com

Why “rustic?” Craig’s all about getting back to basics.

Why “gnome?” Well look at the guy….he clearly looks like one of us. “I have a beard and I’m kind of a round fellow,” he said. Love ya, buddy!

According to the local newspaper, he’s looking to hook up with local organic fruit growers so he can help people make booze from scratch instead of using concentrates. Right on, man. Also coming soon: ingredients to make mead, cider, cheese, yogurt, and sodas!

Rustic Gnome is open 11-7 Monday through Friday and 8-2 on Saturday. Check out their website to learn more about how you can get tipsy without the burden of corporate propaganda.

Here at TheDrunkGnome, we LOVE supporting gnome businesses and wish Rustic Gnome the very best of business luck 🙂

xoxo,
Caesar the Gnome