Monthly Archives: February 2014

Your Friday Gnome Tech Update

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No, this is not a blog post about that ghastly GNOME 3 software that continues infiltrating our news alerts on a daily basis.

But like humans, some of us gnomes are more tech savvy than others. Personally, I’m most interested in the gaming side of tech stuff. ‘Cuz honestly, what gnome doesn’t enjoy a good drunken game from time to time?

First, I came across this Kickstarted project simply called “The Gnome.” There’s a lot of gamer mumbo-jumbo that you can gloss over, but I especially liked this part:

Originating from the world of Aruska, gnomes are creatures whose mastery of magic has made them “one of the more proficient crafters of magical items and allowed them to unlock the arcane potential of even the most mundane of items.” According to the lore, Pantheon’s gnomes are slightly antisocial creatures with a penchant for hoarding who destroyed their magical troves after a conflict with a tribe of humans. The locations of the new troves are unknown, even to the gnomes left behind.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like the developers reached their fundraising goal. So it seems all those poor gnomes will be trapped inside the game indefinitely 🙁

The second game I came across recently is called Gnome & Gnomer. According to the developers, “Once upon a time there were two gnomes who worked as the forest gardeners. Their most important task was to keep the forest flowers watered and blooming.”

Gnome & Gnomer screenshot

It’s supposed to be an easy-to-learn puzzle game with 60 levels. Those weird creatures on the cover don’t look anything like gnomes though. What’s up with those enormous ears and bulging eyes?!

Have you stumbled upon any other gnome-themed games lately? I’d love to hear from you and set up an official battle-to-the-death contest with you.

Cheers and happy Friday, gnomies!
Horace the Gnome

Warning: Gnomes Cause Vehicular Damage

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BREAKING NEWS:

A parked car in Wesley Close, Charmouth, was damaged by a garden gnome when the heavy concrete ornament was placed on the vehicle’s roof.

Last Sunday, a black Citroen DS3 fell victim to a gnome who was ON A RAMPAGE.

Photo credit: Big Kid Small City

The unidentified gnome smashed in the car’s rear windscreen and offside rear window. British people are so weird….what the heck are those car parts?! In America, we just call ’em all windows.

Anyway.

Gnomes like this give us a bad reputation. If you have any information as to where this gnome is from, what his name is, or what his deal is, you might want to call the police. Apparently, the shit went down on 2/23/14 between 1:30 am and 2 am. Get your facts straight and no blackmailing, okay?

P.S. – The crime reference number is 007708.

Your local law enforcer,
SpeakNoGnome, the gnome

A Gnomish Tale of Devastation and Resilience: The Gnome Countryside Fire

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gnomemanIn gnomish communities, fires do happen, but we never expect them to happen to us. A fire recently broke out at Gnome Countryside in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Richard and Mary Humphreys have a house on the Gnome Countryside property, where they give educational tours about gnomes and nature through the woods.

Richard is affectionately referred to as “Gnomeman.” He used to be an art teacher before he retired, then he devoted himself to Gnome Countryside to teach people about the importance of environmental stewardship.

The Humphreys’ 220-year old log home was essentially destroyed in the fire, which began around 2AM in early February. Fortunately, no one was home at the time and no one was injured in the fire, although crews worked to put it out until 5:30AM. Apparently, someone spotted smoke on the property, which turned out to be coming from heated rocks, a Quarryville Fire Company officer said. The cause of the fire is undetermined, though not suspicious, fire officials said.

fire house

But I’m sure you’re wondering what we’re wondering….HOW ARE THE GNOMES?!

Richard placed gnomes throughout his 14 wooded acres of land to help him tell stories about environmental issues, ecology, and zoology. Details about the well-being of Richard’s gnomes has not yet been released to the public. Hopefully, one of the local reporters writes a follow up report soon about the fire’s effect upon gnome life on the property.

We’re pulling for ya little guys….hang in there, we’re pulling for ya!

richardUndoubtedly, the local community loves Gnome Countryside and has already donated over $13,000 to build it back up. If you’d like to show your support head over to the You Caring Fundraiser site started by 29-year-old Chris Neely, who grew up near Gnome Countryside and spent many childhood days there.

Despite it all, the Humphreys and their gnomes aren’t discouraged. According to Richard, “”We’re going to build it back up and it’s going to better then ever.”

Happy Presidents’ Day From Our Most Presidential Gnomes

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May I present ya’ll with ObamaGnome!

obamagnomeOh and here he is in a different outfit.

Obama-GnomeAnyone run into any other PresidentGnomes today? I think most of them have passed on to the gnomish afterlife, but just curious. Chance encounters with politicians has become my new specialty. Send the old hoots my way, will ya?

xoxo,
Trixie the biker chick gnome

A Visit to the Gnome Nook’s Confectioners – Denver, Colorado

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At the end of a recent snowboarding trip I took to Colorado, I stumbled upon the most delightful gnome-themed shop in Denver. The Gnome’s Nook Confectioners is tucked away among the trendy eateries and quaint shops in Denver’s Washington Park neighborhood.

The well-decorated Gnome's Nook entrance
The well-decorated Gnome’s Nook entrance

Stroll through the shop’s outdoor area, which is lined trees, shrubs, benches, and gnome murals. Then make your way inside to enter a magical candy-filled forest with a variety of “gnomemade” chocolate, truffles, covered pretzels, and vintage candies.

Gnome candy

But the very best part of the shop awaits you on the second floor! Up a single flight of stairs you’ll find a wonderful collection of modern and vintage gnomes, gnome books, greeting cards, games, gnome artwork, knitted gnome hats, and gnome jewelry. I loved browsing through the collections of 1990s Kinder Surprise gnomes, 1980s Tom Clark gnomes, 1970s Goebel gnomes, and even a gnome from the 1940s!

Kinder Surprise gnome collection
Kinder Surprise gnome collection

The Gnome’s Nook Confectioners is owned by a brother-sister team, Stephen and Katherine Hostettler. According to a local blogger, Stephen chose the signature gnome theme so as to be gender neutral and make the store’s environment welcoming to everyone. I’m still waiting for the owners to reply to an email I sent to the owners with a few questions about their business.

Flower room

But the Gnome’s Nook isn’t just for shopping, it’s for celebrations too! The owners welcome birthday parties and plan gnome-themed activities wit party favors and cake to keep kids of all ages entertained. The shop also hosts parties for graduations, summer solstice, spring equinox, and Mayday.

Gnome garden entrance
Gnome garden entrance

You can attend movie nights, open air music, circle readings, and wine/chocolate pairings throughout the year. Gnome’s Nook also offers “gnome trade” workshops that focus on felting, candle-making, birdhouse making, and garden planting.

Freaking out at all the gnomes up for adoption
Freaking out at all the gnomes up for adoption

I definitely enjoyed my stop at the Gnome’s Nook Confectioners and I highly recommend it to anyone living near or traveling through the Denver area. See for yourself at 1078 South Gaylord Street, Denver, Colorado or give the owners a call at 303-997-7103.